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Women leave more often than men


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Why is it so that lot more women tend to leave their partner for their lover? it is usually how it ends if a woman starts an affair with a single man,married men tend to stick around until the mistress wants more,then he runs away...if he wasnt happy with the wife in the first place ,why does he do so?

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bentleychic

I think a lot more women follow their hearts. I know I did!

 

(Disclaimer: I didn't leave my marriage for my MM so I don't mean to imply that. Just followed my heart in other ways/situations.)

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thefooloftheyear

They always win in the divorce settlement...Men usually get clobbered..Why wouldnt they leave?

 

Its a "win-win" scenario...

 

TFY

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Women are more emotional and tend to follow them. Even when the emotions are fools gold. Women who leave relationships try to return at a high rate. Men rarely try to return when he leaves on his own.

 

Another difference is men tend to leave because he feels his partner treats him poor, while women leave because the AP treats them better.

 

The biggest difference is men don't have the need to jusitfy affairs. Women are more likely to look for and focus on things the partner is doing wrong as to why they have allowed themselves to become involved with another man. Thus damaging the relationship. Men have less of a need to justify and simply compartmentalizes the two relationships, not having the relationship with the OW effect the way he feels about his partner.

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ThatsJustHowIRoll
Very often, women don't think things through logically.

 

Kinda like you when you posted this sexist generalisation without thinking it through?

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Women leave more often than men

 

Personally, I haven't seen that, relevant to MW's. If anything, they tend to be settled and take multiple lovers over time. The more socially established, the more likely this will occur, IME.

 

YMMV; my basis is specifically disclosures from MW's over the past three or so decades. Many whom I still know are still quite married; hopefully, they worked through stuff and are no longer MW's. The few whom I'm still in more frequent contact with appear to have followed that path. So, if anything, I'd see the 'leaving' as being pretty much equal opportunity. A great example would be a past MW, who had affairs (self-disclosed) with other men besides myself and is currently living with (not married) her fAP, both of whom ended their M's to ultimately be together. Pretty equal, from my observation. He was married over a decade, she nearly two.

 

Anyway, I don't think this is a gender thing, more a people thing. People do what they do.

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Men are more practical. Men also have an easier time separating sex and love. They are more likely to be able to have sex without getting emotionally attached and more capable of having sexual relationships with women they don't view as "relationship material" or even like.

 

In an affair situation many men are looking for validation outside of their marriage. They are also escaping the stress, boredom, routine, etc. When the affair starts to get "serious" it may start to look like their marriage to them and they bail out. They may decide that it's not worth giving up everything they have for an unknown quantity. Some of them decide that they really do love their wives, some of them may be trying to preserve their families, some may not want to pay half of their retirement to their wives...it varies.

 

I don't have any personal experience with women who cheat and leave but the common perception is that they do it for love. I am sure that there are many exceptions.

Edited by notserene
typo
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if he wasnt happy with the wife in the first place ,why does he do so?

 

He probably was not as unhappy as he thought he was. Or (as I wrote above) his relationship with OW begins to look an awful lot like his relationship with his wife and he isn't willing to blow up his marriage for more of the same somewhere else.

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Well, if you're a guy, you have to win the woman over first.

If you're a woman, you just have to go to your local bar to get laid.

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thefooloftheyear
Well, if you're a guy, you have to win the woman over first.

If you're a woman, you just have to go to your local bar to get laid.

 

For some, I suppose......:rolleyes:

 

TFY

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serial muse

The biggest difference is men don't have the need to jusitfy affairs. Women are more likely to look for and focus on things the partner is doing wrong as to why they have allowed themselves to become involved with another man. Thus damaging the relationship. Men have less of a need to justify and simply compartmentalizes the two relationships, not having the relationship with the OW effect the way he feels about his partner.

 

Not IME.

 

Edited to add: I do think that women tend to enter into exit affairs more often than men. As in, by the time they decide to have an affair, they've somewhat given up on the marriage. That's probably cultural and probably subject to change. Meanwhile, I think men are -- at the moment -- more likely to hope to hold onto both, and thus yes, to compartmentalize. But they are perfectly eager to justify that choice by demonizing the wife. Take a quick look at the OW/OM threads for abundant evidence of that. Everybody justifies.

 

Very often, women don't think things through logically.

 

Oh, come on. :rolleyes: That's infuriating and patently untrue. There speaks someone who has no direct experience of this.

Edited by serial muse
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WasOtherWoman

A very wise friend once told me, men never leave unless a) their wife kicks them out or b) they meet someone with whom they would rather be

 

I generally find this to be true...

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A very wise friend once told me, men never leave unless a) their wife kicks them out or b) they meet someone with whom they would rather be

 

I generally find this to be true...

 

B) happens much often to women,and that is the question--why?

 

Are men generally more loyal? even if they find someone they would like to be with they think more with their brain than heart or they just talk sweet words to the mistress...lies.I can imagine when a guy cheats it is mostly because of the sex,while women when they cheat it becomes emotional

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Oh, come on. :rolleyes: That's infuriating and patently untrue. There speaks someone who has no direct experience of this.

 

When my ex left me she didn't think things logically through at all. She also refused to talk to me afterwards and every discussion we had from then on she approached from an emotional point of view.

 

The basic thing is that it's pointless to have a logical discussion with women on certain issues. Choosing to end a relationship is one of those things.

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B) happens much often to women,and that is the question--why?

 

Are men generally more loyal? even if they find someone they would like to be with they think more with their brain than heart or they just talk sweet words to the mistress...lies.I can imagine when a guy cheats it is mostly because of the sex,while women when they cheat it becomes emotional

 

Financial, societal and emotional punishment is harsher for men when the relationship breaks up, if they have kids.

You have 2 homes to support, either through CS or even alimony, the men will generally be blamed for the dissolution of the relationship and some 70% of women admitted to having used the father's time with the kids as punishment against the father, through the kids [bring them late, fight it in court, etc ... ].

 

They tend to more easily separate sex from love, as we are horny all of our lives and we don't have cycles, and are told to control our emotions better.

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Why is it so that lot more women tend to leave their partner for their lover?

 

Do they? Is that just a perception, or are there figures to support that?

I know there are figures that show that in some countries, in some age groups, women tend to file for divorce more often than men, but that isn't the same thing.

 

it is usually how it ends if a woman starts an affair with a single man,married men tend to stick around until the mistress wants more,then he runs away...if he wasnt happy with the wife in the first place ,why does he do so?

 

Again, are there figures to support this or is this perception? Off the top of my head, I can't recall many women that I know personally who have done this, whereas I know many men who have. Of course, my experience pertains mostly to a particular environment, where it is not unusual for men to become really well established in their fields, while their Ws often focus on home and kids... And over time the men find they have more in common with their graduate students, for whom they leave the W (with or without an A) to start a second family. The reverse (W leaves H for grad student, to start second family) seldom happens, though occasionally in dual academic partnerships, the W leaves the H for a higher-powered academic / senior manager, who leaves his (SAHM) W to re-pair with the academic W. I can't recall a single instance I know personally of a female academic leaving her H for a single male grad student - possible because of the ages typically involved.

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I think it's because men will cheat even if they are happy if there is an opportunity and they can get away with it. When a man cheats he could still very much love his wife.

 

When a woman cheats, it's usually cause she's done.

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DarkKnight1
I think it's because men will cheat even if they are happy if there is an opportunity and they can get away with it. When a man cheats he could still very much love his wife.

 

When a woman cheats, it's usually cause she's done.

 

 

If A Man is Truly Satisfied & Happy There Would Be No Reason For Him To Stray Full Stop. Now If Were Talking About Males Then That A Whole Different Thing.

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I think it's because some men will cheat even if they are happy if there is an opportunity and they can get away with it. When a man cheats he could still very much love his wife.

 

When a woman cheats, it's usually cause she's done.

 

I really want to disagree with you, but beyond the bolded part added, i can't. :(

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ThatsJustHowIRoll
If A Man is Truly Satisfied & Happy There Would Be No Reason For Him To Stray Full Stop. Now If Were Talking About Males Then That A Whole Different Thing.

 

 

What is this, the 50s?

 

I call bollocks. Plenty of happily married men cheat. If a man isnt 'truly satisfied' he should do 2 things. 1. Talk to his partner and 2. Start looking inwards.

 

There is NEVER a valid reason for someone to 'stray'.

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serial muse
When my ex left me she didn't think things logically through at all. She also refused to talk to me afterwards and every discussion we had from then on she approached from an emotional point of view.

 

The basic thing is that it's pointless to have a logical discussion with women on certain issues. Choosing to end a relationship is one of those things.

 

Your ex is one person. That, I think, would be the basic point.

 

Your second comment is pure self-serving nonsense. You would do well to turn that focus on yourself rather than on her. I'll say no more for fear of being reprimanded.

 

But, boy, please. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Edited by serial muse
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