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Lies Male Virgins / Inexperienced Guys are told


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snowflakepua

To all of the sexually inexperienced guys and guys who are older virgins on this board. I feel your pain. I was an older male virgin and I used to be in your position so I know exactly how much pain you are in. I remember failing over and over and over again with women. Watching my friends get laid. I remember everything and I have your back.

 

In my experience, what was holding me back was misinformation. Primarily misinformation provided by my female friends and relatives, along with a handful of politically correct dating "experts." So here I will share with you some of this misinformation that held me back, along with the truth. My hope is that this will help you in your journey.

 

THE GREAT LIES THAT INEXPERIENCED MEN / OLDER MALE VIRGINS ARE TOLD.

 

1) "You will suddenly find someone special and everything will click"

 

This will most likely never happen. Just forget it. Are you going to accidentally discover $1000 laying on the ground? It is possible, just extremely unlikely. The best way to get $1000 is to work for it. And that is what you have to do with women. Get out there and find someone. Get involved with clubs, social groups, etc. Just go out and meet lots of women. It requires kissing a LOT of Ms. Wrongs before you find Ms Right.

 

2) "Women are OK with the fact you are experienced / a virgin"

 

No, women are NOT OK with the fact that you are virgin. They just don't understand and are not attracted to it. Don't despair though. Just lie or don't mention it EVER. Even after you are an official couple. Don't ever tell her. This secret dies with you. Almost nothing kills attraction faster than a girl finding out you are inexperienced.

 

When I was dating, before I lost my virginity, when things would start to get serious, I would let girls know and 1 for 1, they would dump me. Everything was going fine, they would find this out and they would leave. So don't repeat my mistake.

 

To this day, the girl I lost my virginity to doesn't know and will never find out. When I started dating her, I lied to her and told her I wasn't a virgin. I told her I had slept with tons of other girls. She never discovered the truth.

 

See, one difference between men and women is that even fat and unattractive women have numerous sexual options. So the fact that you haven't had sex or haven't had an average number of partners just doesn't compute in their minds. Ask women who say they are "OK" with this how many older male virgin guys they have dated. The answer will almost certainly be zero.

 

3) "Just be yourself"

 

Don't be yourself. If you have been yourself and it hasn't worked, then don't continue something that is unsuccessful. You don't want to be someone completely different than yourself, but you do want to adopt what are called "alpha" traits. You want to be in control and dominant when you are with a woman. Don't share your feelings with her to much or your problems. Be the man, be in control. If you don't feel this way, take acting classes and act like you are this way. Your will become more successful with women.

 

4) "It doesn't matter that you don't have much money"

 

Unless you are a guy with TONS of game, girls are actively looking for a successful guy. They want a guy with cash. So don't think that this is a non-issue. You don't have to be a billionaire, but you should be more successful than she is. One of my ex-girlfriends, in a moment of candor, told me she dumped a guy for a number of reasons, one of which is that he didn't make much money. In other words, he made as much or less than she did. One of my very close female friends is a psychologist who has counseled several hundred if not thousands women. She confirmed that women consider this important.

 

5) "Your appearance doesn't matter"

 

Yes it does. Get in the gym, get stronger, change your wardrobe, go shopping with a close female friend (not your sister or mother) and redo your wardrobe. Also make sure your hygiene is impeccable. Women can smell far better than guys can.

 

6) "Women don't want a male whore"

 

Perhaps 5% of women feel that way, but the vast, vast majority of women want a guy with options. Most of the men who women consider extremely sexy have slept with tons of women. If you talk to women who say they "don't want a male whore" it is an almost certainty that they have slept with multiple "male whores" and in some case they are dating a "male whore."

 

7) "Nice guys win in the end"

 

No, they won't win in the end unless they learn game and learn how to pickup women. They won't win unless they use their knowledge of game to become sexually experienced so that a nice girl will find him attractive.

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todreaminblue

I dont want a male whore and i would say that anyone who is a serious person would not want a lothario.i would hazard a guess to say ......the majority of good women in fact all the good women...and i say that as a woman who enjoys sex ...who is celibate ....now....wasnt ...but now am.

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dragon_fly_7

I haven't been in the dating world for years. Who exactly I'm I even suppose to meet if I hardly even go out??

 

That's the only reason I haven't had a bf for many years now.

 

I get the feeling the OP must not be IRL what he claims to be here (the nice guy). My older female cousin is still married to her HS sweetheart. They are now in their 30's and were each other's first...yes the guy was also a virgin.

 

I also got a story about a manwhore:

One of my father's friend was a manwhore type that kept changing girls after girls but you know what? He couldn't last more than a few weeks to 2 months with a gf. Every single gf would shortly dump him. No women would considered him bf material and that guy till day could never land a meaningful long-term relationship. So much for your manwhore theory.

 

The girls probably left for different reasons other than virginity alone. Imagine if I kept talking about my goals and being career-minded frequently on a date or always mentioned about being smart and challenged him on every single subject. That would turned off any man too. Just like you, I would be wrongly assuming men not liking smart women. Or maybe start posting ''Why do men only go for bimbos'' threads instead of analyzing how I'm irritating them.

 

The problem is that it seems there are only some men who are:

A) virgins waiting for the right woman who are happy and confident about it. Or simply haven't found the right woman but have no problems waiting.

B) The others fit into either another future Elliot Rodgers psychopath category or someone with other issues besides virginity.

 

the virgin men belonging in the A category, I don't mind and would happily be his gf. I'm a very low-count woman myself. I want a low-count man as well too, the less the better.

Edited by dragon_fly_7
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snowflakepua

You are totally missing my point. And your response is typical.

 

You say that your female cousin is married to her high school sweetheart and they were both virgins when they met. Well who cares? My post was intended towards OLDER male virgins, not virgins in high school. Being a virgin becomes awkward when a guy becomes older.

 

And your categories of men who are virgins is 100% wrong. There are a tiny, tiny percentage of psychopaths and a small percentage of men who are waiting for the right woman. But the vast majority of men who are older male virgins, simply are not sure how to go about getting a woman into bed. They aren't bad people. There is nothing really wrong with them. They just need help.

 

Now that we are talking about this subject, how many OLDER male virgins have you dated and slept with? By OLDER I mean the guy is at least 26 and has never had sex (including anal) with a girl. Zero? If you haven't had any relationships with these guys, how many guys have your girlfriends slept with that were OLDER male virgins. Not just male virgins but OLDER ones. None? Just what I expected.

 

I understand your date analogy, but it doesn't wash. The minute I changed that one little detail, the minute I began to position myself as a man who was already successful, that is when I started to have success with women. Nothing else changed except for that one point. When I hid my virginity that was when I was able to lose it. Not before.

 

I haven't been in the dating world for years. Who exactly I'm I even suppose to meet if I hardly even go out??

 

That's the only reason I haven't had a bf for many years now.

 

I get the feeling the OP must not be IRL what he claims to be here (the nice guy). My older female cousin is still married to her HS sweetheart. They are now in their 30's and were each other's first...yes the guy was also a virgin.

 

I also got a story about a manwhore:

One of my father's friend was a manwhore type that kept changing girls after girls but you know what? He couldn't last more than a few weeks to 2 months with a gf. Every single gf would shortly dump him. No women would considered him bf material and that guy till day could never land a meaningful long-term relationship. So much for your manwhore theory.

 

The girls probably left for different reasons other than virginity alone. Imagine if I kept talking about my goals and being career-minded frequently on a date or always mentioned about being smart and challenged him on every single subject. That would turned off any man too. Just like you, I would be wrongly assuming men not liking smart women. Or maybe start posting ''Why do men only go for bimbos'' threads instead of analyzing how I'm irritating them.

 

The problem is that it seems there are only some men who are:

A) virgins waiting for the right woman who are happy and confident about it. Or simply haven't found the right woman but have no problems waiting.

B) The others fit into either another future Elliot Rodgers psychopath category or someone with other issues besides virginity.

 

the virgin men belonging in the A category, I don't mind and would happily be his gf. I'm a very low-count woman myself. I want a low-count man as well too, the less the better.

Edited by snowflakepua
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dragon_fly_7

Again, who I'm I suppose to even meet even I hardly go out anyway? Someone suddenly knocking on my door and saying hi?

 

Besides on yahoo chat with an older male virgin whom I actually was interested in about 9 years ago and actually imagined losing it to him (was even thinking of travelling there...we were chatting for a couple months and he admitted to being a virgin), I haven't met one IRL. What happened is that guy wanted an experienced woman and said he just saw me as a friend.

 

Thanks a lot for generalizing every women. I got rejected by that particular older male virgin. Yes, he was like 28 at the time.

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I know that men do tend to get frustraed and embarrassed when they reach their mid 20s or so and have no experience. I always worry for these men because they are prime targets for hackss who troll the internet and relationship sites selling cheesy formulas to get into women's pants. Hopefully the men here on LS are smarter than that.

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dragon_fly_7
I know that men do tend to get frustraed and embarrassed when they reach their mid 20s or so and have no experience. I always worry for these men because they are prime targets for hackss who troll the internet and relationship sites selling cheesy formulas to get into women's pants. Hopefully the men here on LS are smarter than that.
Now I'm more convinced bunnies are hopping.
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Acting like you are a success has long been said as how to be a success. Envisioning it already having happened is how you manifest anything into being. Acting insecure over it is a turn-off yeah. Anxiety pushes everything further away.

 

Yes indeed muscles are lovely. We are biologically programmed to seek fit guys. They are totally not required. Personalities are so much hotter, they just take longer to "see". A gym is not required though, start doing push-ups daily and increase the amount. Start with 5. When that is super easy..add 5 more. Do it for you though.

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I found women that liked the fact I was inexperienced. The thing is that you guys are going to have to man up and get out of your comfort zone. Quit acting like wimps and complaining. Really get out here meet people socialize and it will happen. It's not if you are up here whining about how you are still a virgin.

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virgins waiting for the right woman who are happy and confident about it. Or simply haven't found the right woman but have no problems waiting.

 

 

I like to believe i am in this category, as i would rather wait for the right opportunity than change myself to lose my virginity. also in answer to some of the points:

 

3. I will always be myself as it is the only thing i know who to be, I just need to work on my confidence.

2. I agree that women find this a turn off but I'm not not going to lie about it, i just won't bring the topic up until I'm ready and comfortable with person. if they don't want to be with me because I'm a virgin, then they are probably not the woman i want to be with.

6. ugh no thanks.

7. Sorry but I believe in old school good manners, chivalry being a gentleman and treating people properly, but not to the point of being a doormat.

 

I know it can be hard and sometimes I can find it to be a bit gloomy but i will keep on trying and being myself but will try new methods but will always be myself and not lie in order to get laid, i don't feel it is worth it

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WhiskeyJack

After reading this all I can think is "What kind of women are you trying to get?!".

 

You have really generalized women, and while that may be the case for some, for the most part it isn't true. Maybe you should stop and actually look at the women your trying to get with and maybe change that aspect of your "game".

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dragon_fly_7
After reading this all I can think is "What kind of women are you trying to get?!".

 

You have really generalized women, and while that may be the case for some, for the most part it isn't true. Maybe you should stop and actually look at the women your trying to get with and maybe change that aspect of your "game".

Exactly.

Even if everything the OP is writting is really working out in his relationship (not sure if it's even true but will give it the benefit of the doubt), what man would even want to be with a woman you're suppose to lie all the time about yourself, play mind games and continue using picked-up lines?

 

If that woman supposely only wants a manwhore and not who he truly is, why would a man looking for a serious relationship even want that woman?

Wow, I'm shocked to see some men have such low standards that they would settle for any low quality woman?

Talk about self-esteem. If you have to lie to get a relationship, you have issues.

Sorry but I'm really not buying it that all women are like that. I'm not convinced at all.

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dragon_fly_7
virgins waiting for the right woman who are happy and confident about it. Or simply haven't found the right woman but have no problems waiting.

 

 

I like to believe i am in this category, as i would rather wait for the right opportunity than change myself to lose my virginity. also in answer to some of the points:

 

3. I will always be myself as it is the only thing i know who to be, I just need to work on my confidence.

2. I agree that women find this a turn off but I'm not not going to lie about it, i just won't bring the topic up until I'm ready and comfortable with person. if they don't want to be with me because I'm a virgin, then they are probably not the woman i want to be with.

6. ugh no thanks.

7. Sorry but I believe in old school good manners, chivalry being a gentleman and treating people properly, but not to the point of being a doormat.

 

I know it can be hard and sometimes I can find it to be a bit gloomy but i will keep on trying and being myself but will try new methods but will always be myself and not lie in order to get laid, i don't feel it is worth it

Do that. If there is anything I hate the most is liars and braggards. The OP's ''Oh I've slept around the block'' opening at the beginning of the date would grossed me out actually. I'm not impressed by people sleeping around. To me it's not normal for neither a man nor woman to keep changing partners excessively.
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Welp. Another one of these threads.

 

And here's me, AGAIN, saying that I've been with more virgins than non-virgins, and the ones who weren't virgins had only been with 1 other.

 

 

What does that mean? I'M TOTALLY FINE WITH VIRGINS, and have a preference for men that have not been with many women.

 

 

Nothing can kill my attraction faster than a man who has slept around a lot. Yuck.

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My signature is pretty clear. If you're going to wait for something, you'll likely not get it. It's the worst way of living.

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Never knew men had it that bad...As a virgin myself I would be quite content with an inexperienced guy even if I wasn't and I don't get why that's a turn off.It's better than someone who's already slept around.It's a win win.

Edited by nightrain
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CrystalCastles

Yep, nothing more unattractive than a man whore.

 

I'm seeing a virgin right now. He is the sexiest beast ever to walk this planet. So no, I don't believe that male virgins are unattractive to women.

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Buck Turgidson

Oh I totally get it now. So since women are attracted to desirable qualities, I should pretend to have desirable qualities. Excellent advice.

 

Alternatively, I advise working on one's own awesomeness. The more genuinely awesome you become, the more others will see it in you. See how easy that was? And you didn't even have to manipulate, lie, or degrade an entire gender to do it.

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Glinda.Good
you can speak for yourself but not other ladies.

 

Maybe not, but she certainly has a better chance of speaking for us other ladies than you and the OP do! :laugh:

 

Son, I realize that there is an entire Internet full of sage boys telling you to never listen to women and to only listen to them. They are spending a lot of time on the Internet ...

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Glinda.Good
direct personal experience. i was 27 and lied to lose mine.

 

That's too bad, I'm sorry. Just because you felt you had to lie in order to have sex, though, does not mean others have to.

 

Like you said, you can speak for yourself, but not for other men. Except for the OP, of course.

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snowflakepua

It didn't come up at the beginning of the date. It came up after we had been on a few dates and were getting ready to get intimate. I'm not sure how old you are, but for people who are in mid to late 20s, this is not an usual topic of discussion.

 

Basically a woman wants the man with options that has chosen her. He doesn't want a man with no options that selects her.

 

When I said to lie about your partner count, a statement I still absolutely believe in and support in the case of male virgins / inexperienced guys, you don't want to inflate your number to some freakish value. Let's say you are in your mid 20s. If you are a virgin, I would inflate that number to at least 4 or 5. Let's say you are a virgin in your mid 30s. You are going to need to inflate that number considerably more, I would say 12 on the low end and 25 on the high end, of course what you say exactly depends on the girl you are talking to. But whatever you do, don't tell her the truth.

 

 

 

Do that. If there is anything I hate the most is liars and braggards. The OP's ''Oh I've slept around the block'' opening at the beginning of the date would grossed me out actually. I'm not impressed by people sleeping around. To me it's not normal for neither a man nor woman to keep changing partners excessively.
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snowflakepua

Glinda,

 

Believe what you will, but how many older male virgins have you or any of your friends slept with. By older I mean late 20s and older. Zero? One?

 

 

That's too bad, I'm sorry. Just because you felt you had to lie in order to have sex, though, does not mean others have to.

 

Like you said, you can speak for yourself, but not for other men. Except for the OP, of course.

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