13th November 2013, 4:46 PM
Join Date: Aug 2013
Can highly eccentric people find love and acceptance for who they are?
Within my social network, I am well liked and held in high regard but not because of close friendships. I am the type that will show up somewhere, do something memorable and skillful that no one else in the group can do, then leave the scene. People talk about my eccentric wardrobe, my accomplishments, and my quirks.
I have been contemplating a vision I wish to follow with an accompanying flexible action plan for the next 25 years, and I'm trying to make sense where love and relationships fit into my plan.
In every relationship I've been in, I have felt emotionally isolated, I find that in order to find acceptance, I have to pretend to be more normal. Let my explain my set of assumptions:
Every civilization, culture, society, etc has indoctrinated ways of how people are supposed to behave and how people are supposed to court one another. These shift over time. Indoctrination is a necessity for group survival, I do not mean the term negatively. For me to attract women, I have to play up to their expectations about how the world works. Everyone has a model of how the world works and how people are "supposed to behave". Diverging from the model can be dangerous if you seek a mate, they could become averse to your advances.
Along with models about how the world works, I find that just about everyone, myself undoubtedly included, have broken dreams in a world of disenchantment, feeling trapped within limited roles that the greater social structures expect us to play for the sake of the aggregate to the point where people and events fall short of the individual’s ideal.
I wish to learn how to be a flame that ignites inspiration in this era, embodying the role of the timber that engulfs dreamlike qualities on reality, others, and I.
I am most happy when I can freely frolic in my own interior world of dreams, desires, and obsessive passion of attaining mastery over human nature and social phenomena through deliberate practice.
I want to work toward a world where everyone can reach their potential and make unique contributions to the human species. No one will be merely an average number in the system disposable at the drop of the hat for the personal gain of the "masters of the universe".
I find that I have to put on masks to hide the full extent of my inner consciousness otherwise I inevitably put people off. It seems like trying to "court" most women the "traditional way" seems to always end in failure. So then I changed my approach and made myself appear as "non-relationship material" so I could have sex with them, it seems much easier to start a relationship with a woman if you are already having sex with her than the other way around. But when I don't use masks and be myself I never get off the ground.
I have been wearing masks for years, I have even been able to give each character different forms of speech, different walking gaits, different wardrobes, likes and dislikes. Like one day I could be a man of humble means working in the industrial sector of town in a modest studio, the next week I could adopt a persona of an idiot with no purpose in life other than get wasted and talk about reality tv, jay-z, and sports.
It is so peculiar to me that my "characters" can find dates and acceptance but when I am myself, I always turn people off.
Last edited by Antenna_Of_Destiny; 13th November 2013 at 5:10 PM..