willpower654 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I am wondering. Lately I have been so stressed out about the insanity that my life has become being with a man who has a 7yr old daughter EOW. Everything about the situation is pissing me off... his parenting, her issues, the mother, the mother in law on his side and her attempts to make the kid my problem because he is a man... etc etc On top of it there are several problems in our relationship itself, such as lying on his behalf, money issues because I am in school, recently found out there is a recereational drug habbit brewing and his selfishness and lack of concern for others as he continues to make stupid decisions which me and his mom will have to pay for if they turn bad. I left a perfectly calm situation I was living in to come into a complete tornado - disaster where now. I am so tired I can't even get out of bed in the morning. How can I tell him all of the above? And what do you do when this happens? I am so devestated and I don't know what to do or where to start in this conversation. And I also was wondering if I was to leave and give him time to reflect would that work? Does anyone have any experiences in this dept? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Breaks are for junior high school kids. Either work on the relationship or break up & move on. Don't play games. Sit him down & tell him you have to talk. Ask about the drugs & the lying. (Sorry for me those are deal breakers & I'd be out the door). Express your stress about the money. Tell him where you are comfortable re: parenting his daughter & specifically define any behaviors of hers that you need him to correct. The key will be for you to remain calm. If you yell & scream, he won't hear you. Link to post Share on other sites
mercuryshadow Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I don't really care what people do for "fun" but drugs and parenting DO NOT mix. If he has a habit brewing, you must, must, must do something about it. He has to realize that unless he stops, he could lose custody of his daughter. Drill that into his head and make him seek help for his addiction issues. My son's father developed a drug habit after we were apart. I did not find out until his ex-fiancé came forward and told me, but this was still 2 years into his problem. I was glad she told me, but was furious that she hadn't told me sooner. I had to take legal action against him. Since you know what is going on, it is your responsibility as an adult to protect this little girl. If you and his mother both know about his addiction and are not doing anything about it, you are enabling him. As another poster said, don't yell and scream, but calmly and firmly tell him what the consequences to his actions will be if he does not get help for his issues. As for the rest, it is a mess, I completely agree. Parenting is the hardest job on the planet, and when one person checks out of that role (i.e. your bf) it becomes nearly impossible. You should not only speak with your bf, but also his mother (since you say she is involved), and tell them both how you feel. It sounds as if you are doing your best to hold everything together, but in reality, it should not be your job. Link to post Share on other sites
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