Stalkers...who's had em?

[dudesomewhere]

stalkers suck...

 

at least imo...

 

my current one is a gay stalker...I've had 2(that I'm aware of...actually think it might be 4 but I don't really want to think that ). Very creepy. Just before that was a female stalker...equally as creepy. Maybe over a 12 year span, I've had about 6 stalkers(at least), which I think is scary and on the high side. I noticed it since college...that was the scariest with funky nasty letters left on my car...you know the ones where the desribe how your body parts turn them on.

 

Yeah I don't feel flattered by stalkers and it's not bragging when you profess you have them...at least I'm not bragging. I hope nobody feels flattered having a stalker.

 

You can only get restraining orders when someone violates you physically right? So a stalker can stalk freely and not worry about anything unless they lay a hand on you? If so that sucks...I hope my stalker streak ends soon...I'm friggin 31! This would suck major ass if I continue to have them until i'm 40 and 50.

 

What's the average for my age you think, 2-3?

 

Oh and I try not to be a stalker...and least I hope I've succeeded...but you know how coincidences can make a mess of things

[BettyBoo]

I am not sure what the average number of stalkers are . I did have a few . One was a neighbour who llived across the street. He would stand at his front door every morning and stare at me leaving for work.

 

He then started phoning at all hours of the night. But the final crunch came when one of pet rabbits went missing. I was sure he was a bunny boiler!!!! Actually he returned my rabbit saying it had escaped from the garden!!!!!

 

Yep .............he was weird and I am glad to have moved from the area and live in the country where my only stalkers are the dawn chorus.....;-)

[sportsloving]

One , only one.

 

It was shortly after my first divorce, and I went out with him a couple of times. He had some serious problems going on, was in the middle of a huge custody fight ... then his ex~wife died in a car accident and suddenly had full custody of two children and yet didn't want the responsibility. His grand scheme was for me to raise his kids ... yeah not going to happen.

 

So I ended things, was too much drama for my life. I started getting flowers at work, almost everyday. Saying how he loved me and needed me (needed a full time babysitter perhaps). But he then would call all hours of the night and day, so I would unplug my phone at night. He would then drive by, everyone knew it and would tell me. When I would ask him to stop... he ignored that and kept asking for a chance. He then started pounding on my door at all hours ... didn't matter if it was three am or five pm. So I talked to the cops. Had a restraining order placed but he wouldn't stop and they wouldn't do anything as he never threatened me. Just annoyed the hell out of me.

 

One night my girlfriend and I went out to the bar for a couple of beers, he of course was there (didn't know it when we got there). He sends over a beer for us. I took the beer, walked up the bar where he was, raised the beer in salute and then tossed it in the trash.

 

My girlfriend and I were happy go lucky, went to the only grocery store in town, bought a bag of sugar and went back to the bar ... dumped in it in his gas tank. He had plenty of warning to leave me alone, wouldn't do it so I dealt with him. Was his pride and joy Z28 .

 

Never heard another word from him

 

Not saying that everyone should take things into their own hands or anything, but it is damn annoying that some folks can't take no for an answer and they don't think they have to follow the rules. He was scaring my daughters and my neighbors weren't too happy about him banging on the door at odd hours. So I got him to stop ... my way .

[murphy pee]

A stalker is someone who prowls or sneaks about; usually with unlawful intentions.

 

Stalkee's are in grave danger! Stalkers are potential rapists. They are highly unstable and capable of cutting their wrists, after stabbing you to death.

 

I speak from experience. Be careful. Dont take it lightly. They are particularly dangerous when they know beyond any doubt that you dont like them. I think they should get a life!

[Craig]

I've had a couple of stalkers but only one weird one that scared me and kept calling me even though I told her not to call me and hung up on her many times.

 

The one that scared me was a female that I had literally met only once in person for a few minutes (while in college.) For the next 6 years she would call me up and either be really nice and civil or outright sexually aggressive or make threats to kill people. It was scary also because her voice and way of talking would change like she was becoming a completely different person. In her last call to me before I moved 600 miles away she threatened to put a bullet in my brain because I "wouldn't see her."

 

My calls to the police to stop this woman were fruitless. In general they actually laughed and said things like "oh, it must be an ex-girlfriend who is mad because you dumped her." Duh, what part of "I never spent more than 120 seconds with this woman" didn't they understand? The police did nothing.

 

After the last call (the one where she threatened to put a bullet in my brain) the police did come out to my office and take a statement, they spent an hour with me doing that. And the result of that waste of time with the police was that they couldn't (wouldn't) do anything until there was some physical evidence like me lying dead in a pool of my own blood. The recordings I had made of her phone calls were not enough for them to do anything, or so they said.

[packersgirl]

I'm not sure if you would categorize this under stalker... I did and still do because it was my first experience with an obsessive guy.

 

I've been working where I work for nearly two years, one of the managers there had a crush on me when I started working. I'm a friendly person, and I'm too nice for my own good, so when he started flirting with me, I wouldn't flirt back, but I'd nicely try to end it. The flirting went on daily... when I was working and he wasn't, he'd come by and visit, for hours. Then he got a hold of my cell phone number. I answered the first time he called, because I didn't know it was him. He got to the point where he was calling me 5 times a night, after I had seen him during the day... I wouldn't answer.

 

The breaking point was a Thursday about a year and a half ago. I had been patient with him up until that point, but I was almost in tears because I couldn't handle him anymore. I was working that night. The phone rang so I picked it up. It was him telling me to come outside. I looked up and he was just staring at me through the window. I told him no and began to make my voice louder and the conversation known to other employees so they would come up to the front. He insisted I come outside, he had a present for me. I told him to come inside if he wanted to see me. At that moment, my hero pulled up and came through the front doors. BTW, my hero is just a guy I work with who's happened to rescue me many many times and this was the first! Anyway... I hung up on this guy and went back to my job. I drive for a living and I headed out to my car, I had my hero walk out with me and the manager on duty, I got in the car as fast as I could and took off...

 

Stupid car, it decided to break down. I was in tears and I called my work to let them know. My hero showed up about 15 minutes later. He told me to lock up my car and we'd go get jumper cables. So I did... but I locked the keys in there as well... in the ignition! We get back to the store and of course, he's there. He starts begging to take me back to my car and when we both told him no, he took off. I ended up telling my hero and the manager what had been happening and they both said they'd talk to him.

 

Talking did no good with this guy. The phone calls became less frequent, but our hours of working together increased. I ended up having to work with him all by myself Saturday nights. He'd trap me in corners trying to talk to me, touch me, and give me all this unwanted attention. It was awful! Luckily though, he quit. And that ended that!!!

[faux]

The term stalker is quite often misunderstood. People almost always confuse harassment with stalking behavior, when the two are actually different in some very important and obvious ways. Phone calls late at night, having flowers delivered constantly, notes, emails, IMs, having the person try to talk to you when you bump into them somewhere, is not stalking. This is harassment, and although still illegal, definitely not stalking.

 

Stalking would involve the person physically being on your trail. The person would constantly show up at your place of employment, hang around afterwards, hang around your house, drive by your house, break into your place of residence, and other such things. Stalkers follow you, quite literally. Stalkers indeed have a knack for knowing where you are, and who you are with, as well as showing up everywhere you go. The unfortunate aspect of stalking is that it is incredibly difficult to prove in most instances. In my state, only a very small handfull of persons have ever been found guilty of "stalking". As I mentioned before, the behavior is almost always harassment, whether it be intentional or unintentional. In the case of jaded exes, the exes most often do not even realize they are doing anything wrong.

 

The best defense with jaded lovers is to communicate your intentions quite clearly. If someone does something to bother you, it is best to inform them what exactly they are doing which bothers you, what you want them to stop, and that you do not wish to see them or talk to them any longer. Additionally, be certain that if you get the law involved you can prove, without any doubt, that the ex should have no excuse NOT to have known he/she was bothering you.

 

Most of the stories I am reading here, so far, detail harassment and not stalking.

 

Craig: In most instances, one cannot obtain a TRO (temporary restraining order) unless one has been involved in a dating relationship with the defendant. If you had recordings of said phone calls, that would have been enough evidence. It is unfortunate that in the United States laws that exist to protect people in such situations are entirely in favor of women. Most often, police will not take you seriously. I have some experience in this in dealing with some unstable ex-girlfriends of mine.

 

TROs, I find, are quite difficult to get in my area if you are a man. Police always inform me that restraining orders cannot be issued unless I can prove that I am in actual physical danger. Which puzzles me, as one person got a TRO on me by saying that I "phoned the plaintiff over a period of two months at extremely inconvenient hours", with no type of physical evidence. Even stranger, is that she had a judge woken up in the middle of the night to approve it... yet she was in no physical danger...

 

I had quite a bit of evidence with one ex of mine, but the police didn't seem to want to get involved in it. I figured things would stop, but they wouldn't. Then, the ex filed a TRO with no evidence, get proven an idiot in court (lack of evidence, lack of witnesses, lack of specific events, dates and times written in her complaints), and still the police would not want to help me out. Sigh.

 

Next time something like that happens, if you cannot get the aid you feel you should be getting, go to another (her) municipality to file, or just forget about the TRO and file harassment/stalking/threat charges (whatever are applicable) on the person. It's always handy if the ex is from another municipality, just in case something like this comes up.

 

The main thing that I am getting at, however, is that recordings of the telephone conversations are extremely valid evidence, and you were cheated to have been turned away, having been told otherwise.

[miz_barby]

My ex husband was my only stalker *thank gawd* He terriozed me during our relationship, when he would get drunk he would pull a knife out from under the mattress and hold it against my chest telling me "remember this site, remember how you feel right now because if you ever leave me you'll end up with this knife in your heart for being a heartless bit*h and leaving me" also if we were arguing and he pulled a knife on me (like if I was in the kitchen cooking and he came in behind me and grabbed one from the dish drainer) and my Mom saw, she would come in and try and talk some sense into him asking him to put it down and he would jab it at her or close to her neck telling her that if she didn't stay out of it he would hurt me by killing her!! When I talked to the police all they would say is "we can't do anything until he actually touches you" but I was so scared of him and this threats that by the time he did hit me I was too scared to call the cops because he promised by the time they got their we will all be dead.

 

Finally I got up the courage to leave him after 4 years (I married him when I was 18 and left him when I was 21 but started dating him when I was 17) anyway he would sleep in my garage, sleep outside my house in his brother's car (usually passed out drunk) he would call me all hours of the night telling me he was outside (or coming over) to slit my throat and that of my family's and he was gonna burn the house down, blah..blah..blah....I always called the cops and finally they gave me a restraining order and we had to sell the house so we could move, needless to say finally we moved and I have a normal life now.

 

It was a bad situation and I pray no one ever has to go through it!!

[meanon]

Dude, are you sure there is nothing that can be done legally? Where I live stalking is illegal and it's not just physical violations that count. Other types of harrassment can result in prosecution. It has to be fairly severe to get to that stage.

 

I have never been stalked. 6 years ago I was the victim of someone with a personality disorder who developed an violent obsession about me. As with your case, the police could do nothing other than issue warnings (as threats were not made directly to me). It made me feel very powerless.

 

Do be persistent about reporting the incidents to the police, keep a record. Ask if there is a victim support service that you can talk your feelings through with. Take care.

[miz_barby]

Thankfully it's been almost 2 years since I've moved and since he has no way to find me I think I'm safe, hopefully he's moved on and learned from all of this!

 

Needless to say I'm really leary about who I talk to or who I've gotten involved with now!

[portland]

I dated a psychiatrist (don't ever do that!!!) who has absolutely terrorized me. He broke up with me 3 days after I had a miscarraige and he told everyone that I was stalking HIM! Needless to say, I was devastated that the father of my just-lost child would say such a cruel and untrue thing! I was an emotional wreck THEN he began the real torture. Now he has threatened me, told people that I am unstable, has called me repeatedly to say that if I don't comply with whatever demands he is making, that I could be killed by one of his psychiatric patients, he has emailed and called and has even come to my house and pouned on the door! I am afraid to leave my house. It is sick. I hope people out there realize that even though someone is "educated," they are still capable of abuse and terrorism.

[miz_barby]

OH wow! I hope that guy gets it together and leaves you alone! How scary that he is someone who is in charge of helping people feel better! Sounds like something out of a horror movie!

[UCFKevin]

I've had one.

 

It was back in Orlando when I was working at Target. When I FIRST started there, there was this insanely BEAUTIFUL girl with the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen that worked there. She had a boyfriend at the time so I didn't go after her, plus I worked with her and I Don't like mixing business with pleasure because I've seen first hand what happens. She quits like a few months after I started there and I didn't see her since.

 

Anyway, TWO years later, this other girl I work with at Target runs into Pretty Eyes who at that time had a job at the mall. They got to talking about Target, and my friend asked Pretty Eyes is she was seeing anyone and she said no, and then she brought me up, saying how she always thought I was really hot but she had a boyfriend at the time and couldn't do anything about it. So word got back to me and I went to where she works and I just went right up to her and said, "I think you and I should go out sometime."

 

So we did.

 

The dates went alright, I suppose, she was kinda bland, a little too goody goody, boring, but very sweet. However, when we brought out the family photo albums on the first date, and when I saw she owned Batman and Robin on tape, I began to think, "WHOA, what the f*ck is this?!" So I started to lose interest.

 

I'm not exactly sure what the breaking point was, but eventually I told her I didn't think we should see each other anymore, OH YEAH! I know now, she dropped out of college to work at Disney, and I was really disappointed by that, she didn't really have much drive whatsoever, and I need a girl with drive, so that was the kicker, I believe.

 

So that was that. We stopped talking to each other.

 

For the next few weeks, maybe an entire month, every day I worked at Target, she was there. EVERY DAY. Walking around. Always in my section. Never directly looking at me but I'd catch her looking. Wouldn't smile, wouldn't say a word, this is the girl who, for the two years prior to all this, didn't ONCE come into the store. Yet here she was, coming into the store every goddamn day I was there.

 

It got to the point where I told our mutual friend, "Look, you have to get her to stop coming into work, she's freaking me the hell out, I don't want to wake up with a horse head in my bed, dammit," so she got the word out and I haven't seen her since.

 

But my GOD, it was pretty f*cking freaky. Even my buddies I worked with were like, "Oh s***, there she is! HIDE!" and I'd duck behind the counter in electronics and bide my time.

 

In retrospect, it was fun, but Christ, at the time, I thought I was gonna die!

[dudesomewhere]

lol...that's my situation...but wonderfully not for long! Once another week is up I can leave this job and go to the next

 

no more retail stalkers and hopefully no inter-office stalking, hehe. That retail mess opens you up to too many freaks.

[SnowWhite]

I kind of think that my best friend is a stalker.

At first I just thought she was a jealous person but sometimes she just does some weird@ss stuff to her bf. Like if we come back to town from a night out she will make us drive out of our way to go check if her bfs car is at home at like 4am. Then she will get out of the car to go peep through his bedroom window.

Sometimes when I'm with her she will call his job and ask for him and hang up, just to make sure hes there. She drives by his job like 3 times a day too.

 

I think the stalker breaking point was one day she asked me to go shopping at the mall with her. So I showed up and she said she just wanted to see if her bf was really there like he said he would be. Then we proceeded to tail him for like an hour and a half...well she was tailing him all spylike, I was kinda sitting on a bench eating some icecream or trying on some clothes.

I mean whats the point of stalking someone your dating. She coulda just walked up to him and hung out but she said that would seem "stalkerish"(?!?) if she showed up at places where he was.

I don't get what people get out of following other people around??

[thecake]

I had a stalker a few years ago.

 

Screw anyone in law enforcement who says they can't help you until the stalker physically hurts you...if you INSIST on going in there and talking to a detective at least they can open a file for you to show you were concerned BEFORE anything happens.

 

Once you specifically tell someone you want NO CONTACT with them anything they do after that can be considered stalking/harrassment. I had 75 pages worth of documentation of this guy following me on a daily basis, calling me (121 times one night), leaving threatening messages, which I had recorded onto tapes, sending threatening e-mails, sending me unwanted flowers every day for two weeks, etc.

 

I felt things were getting to a boiling point with this guy - I could feel his desperation. I made an appointment with a detective to talk about my options and on the day I was going to meet him - had my file with me - my stalker tried to run me off the road. Aside from being the scariest thing to happen to me it couldn't have been a more perfect situation...I went straight to the police station, filed charges, showed them my documentation, he was arrested, and I still carry the restraining order to this day.

 

The number one lesson I learned from that situation and from the detective who took an interest in my case is to never, EVER, date someone who has less to lose

than you do.

[Bojickwoman]

When I was in College I had a stalker from one of my classes. He first just started asking me on dates while in class and I repeatedly told him no, that I was not interested. Our teacher then passed out a list of all the students names and phone numbers in case someone missed class so you could get your next assignment. Well, this guy took it upon himself to start calling me at home. I even had my boyfriend at the time get on the phone and tell him to leave me alone. He would show up outside my other classes on other days. Then, he started getting mean from my rejection of him and would harrass me in class and during break. He would walk down the hallway and pretend he was going to punch me in the face, give me dirty looks during class etc. I told the teacher what was happening and he did NOTHING. It got to the point where I started not going to that class and actually ended up dropping the class. After that semester was summer break, so thankfully, I didn't have to see that guy and never did see him again in the fall.