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ladies...ladies...is there a preferred method of contact?


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dudesomewhere

Now, let's give some prelims on this situation. It can be wholey platonic or there might be miniscule romance involved...I'm just saying to see if you ladies will see if there are any differences.

 

Ok, let's say you give a guy your phone and email. Ok. Now, do you think it's ever possible someone prefers say...phone talk over email comm? Let me say I am not a phone person and really hate talking on them...I have a cellphone I barely use, maybe 5-10 minutes a month :p . Email...well that's so much easier isnt' it? Never have to worry about leaving messages or wondering if anybody is there...you just type up what you're thinking and if so and so reads it in time...wazzup.

 

Now...if someone is strictly looking at you platonic, they won't care if you prefer email or the phone would they? I know many of you folks in your relationships thrive on every form of comm. But do you think there's ever such a case where someone is more or less cold or unreceptive to you with emails because they want you to call them on the phone? I know it can't really be someting related to relationships, as in friendship/romance but do you think it could be that someone needs that physical confirmation of contact? Whereby picking up the phone is what makes them tick?

 

Have you ever had anyone tell you "you can call me anytime" but be rather cold and distant...or unresponsive when you did talk to them on the phone that you only feel comfortable chatting via email? Is there ever a time when someone can actually get mad and feel something like "damnit, quit emailing me and give me a call!"?

 

So, yeah, I'm wondering if there is such an extreme preference and wondering if it could be different for women and men of course :)

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Platonic- e-mails fine as long as you average 1 phone or personal contact a month so they know you still have a pulse.

 

Romantic- e-mails cute messages you don't want anyone overhearing and standard pick up the milk contact. Otherwise call. We love hearing your voice b/c w/out it it's harder to do the girlie read into everything he says thing. ESPECIALLY when discussing, planning or canceling an upcoming date.

 

People who sound distant on the phone- call them on it- ask if there is a certain time of day when it's best to call b/c you feel as though you're interupting them. That may just be there phone demeaner or they may have meant to say call anytime THERE'S AN EMERGENCY- non-emergencies are handled between 4-6pm.

 

Otherwise- call, write, send smoke-signals. At least you are staying in touch.

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I'd prefer to receive a carefully written, nice, funny e-mail to a cold/distant phone call.

Most guys who do not like talking on the phone end up sounding cold even if they do not mean to!

 

I think that if she will receive a mail that sounds casual but she can tell it took you some effort/imagination to write, and she enjoys reading it, if she is at least a bit interested in you you'll have made her day. :)

 

Is there ever a time when someone can actually get mad and feel something like "damnit, quit emailing me and give me a call!"?

 

When that day comes, she can ask for your phone number, can't her? :)

 

Make sure to let her know sooner or later that you hardly ever use your cell phone because you are not confortable with it.

 

and...how about a text message sometimes?

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...to e-mail friends at work because it makes me look busy, but at home I’m on the phone for at least a couple of hours every night. As far as someone I’m romantically involved with I want it all - e-mails and phone calls.

 

I have a friend up in NYC who can’t stand e-mail but I think it’s just because he can’t type very fast or doesn’t want to read a lengthy e-mail...he says he prefers to hear my voice...to have a conversation. I’ll send him an e-mail and 1 minute later my phone rings.

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One problem with email and instant messaging is you can't always get the correct tone of what's said. I may think I'm saying something funny on text and the person may take it wrong whereas on the phone they would hear your voice, the intonations, or a chuckle or a sigh, whatever, and gain context from it. The more "distant" the medium, the more likely to misunderstand something.

 

And of course, that does sometimes depend on the people involved. Some people express themselves much better in writing and trip over their words in person. However, I think overall email and instant messaging have some impersonal aspects to them that speaking on the phone does not. I also think that email is even more impersonal than a hand-written letter.

 

One more thing is that sometimes ideas are too complex to bother typing them all out - it's easier to express some things just by speaking than to get carpal tunnel syndrome over them.

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Personally I am a big fan of the phone. I rarely ever e-mail someone and usually I don't receieve many e-mails either. I couldn't be in a relationship with a guy if I didn't talk to him on the phone. Of course it's kinda hard when your bf lives 12 hrs away...phone and computer are really the only type of daily contact I get with him. We chat on the phone at least once a day. But, if someone is really distant on the phone I would ask what's up. Good communication is key to ANY type of relationship...it doesn't matter whether it's over the phone or the net, do what's most comfortable for you and the person involved.

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Well, it depends a lot on the guy. At the beginning i definetely prefer email. It is more impersonal, but I think one gets to know much more about a person through emails.

 

Iam NOT a fan of IM. I have recently installed msn (after more than 3 months together) and the only reason I use it and the only person I use it with is my bf. It's more fun, but boy do I waiste time with it!

 

Back to the email/phone thing: let's have this one thing clear. There is never ever a question on "friendship" between a man and a woman. It's a question of "maybe" and of timing. MO!

 

With the phone, it's tricky! You may not feel like talking, may not be able to talk, the tone of the voice always opened to interpretations... Later, yes, it's a good idea for phone calls to be made more often. But it doesn't mean that emails are to be any less or dissapear!

 

 

But that's just me, always in need to communicate :) !

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dudesomewhere

very very interesting indeed...such varied perceptions.

 

I'm been into computers for 15 years and I'm not even a fan of IM...just feels like a beeper. Email though, now that's the stuff :). Too convenient for my azz. I love talking in person or email...I'm wondering if that's an odd extreme...hmm. Are they almost opposite? hehe

 

I guess what Fayebelle said is the best? It is purely platonic...so 1 phone call a month? Aw, do I have ta? :D . That's not too low in anyone else's opinion if purely platonic? 1 a month seems doable...damn phones :p

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