Single moms.

[NGC1300]

It's honestly becoming the rule; not the exception. All I see around me are single moms in their 20's, usually with multiple kids. It just paints such a bleak picture. Nobody makes anything work these days, nobody takes anything seriously, and nobody knows anything of responsibility. It is sickening.

 

Every time I see a remotely attractive woman online, surprise surprise; she's a single mom.

 

If the kids have grown up, that's one thing. But I'm still young enough where I might want a family of my own. Personally, I can't think of anything more degrading that raising some others mans kids, or even having to be around them for that matter.

 

Anyway, I'm just frustrated. I don't think I could ever date a single mom; wondering if anyone else has made it work?

[Treasa]

There are a lot of reasons why someone could be single. My mom divorced my father because he started abusing me after I was born and started using drugs, even though he didn't prior to that. She had to protect me.

 

You certainly are within your rights to date or not date someone. I just don't think it's as black and white as you may think.

 

I personally would have no problem dating a single dad. Kids are cute, and I don't need to have my own to have fun with them.

[Treasa]

Oh, I just thought of my friend, who is a single dad to a little boy who's only three years old. When his son was 18 months old, his rather young wife died in an accident.

[youaremysunshine]

What about the absent fathers?

[dichotomy]

Personally, I can't think of anything more degrading that raising some others mans kids, or even having to be around them for that matter.

 

Anyway, I'm just frustrated. I don't think I could ever date a single mom; wondering if anyone else has made it work?

 

So first you insult this situation, call it degrading for a man to raise a another mans child, and then you want to know if anyone made it work?

 

Why should you do something YOU think is degrading? Am I supposed to convince you otherwise?

 

GD right I made it work! It was the hardest and most rewarding accomplishment so far - and I have accomplished alot in my life.

 

But to each his own. Life is what happens when you are making other plans.

Edited April 16, 2013 by dichotomy

[NGC1300]

There are a lot of reasons why someone could be single.

 

I understand that, but I'm seeing it over and over and over again. It's just so hard to keep a positive outlook, and not conclude that these people are just grossly irresponsible.

[NGC1300]

What about the absent fathers?

 

I'm sure that's a component, but really what does it say about a woman who allows herself to get knocked up by one of these losers in her mid 20's, or even sooner?

 

Yes I know it takes two, but as a man I can really only concern myself with the female component, since females are who I want to date.

[Woggle]

I would never judge all of them and I would certainly give them a chance but honestly it would be a red flag.

[NGC1300]

I don't mean to come across self righteous; I just honestly see a patern, and I'm having a hard time believing the majority of these women aren't equally responsible for the broken family.

[amaysngrace]

So you're attraction to them is physical and not based on who they are?

 

Charming.

[jennifer4]

You sound very immature. Please do all single mom's a favor, DO NOT date them. You have every right to your opinion. I'm a single mom of 4. It's not easy but it's worth it when you find a person who can see past the fact that you are a single mom. Good luck. Maybe you'll grow up one day and see past the fact that a woman has kids and actually look at her as a person. If not, then so be it.

[NGC1300]

So you're attraction to them is physical and not based on who they are?

 

Charming.

 

Physical attraction is a major component. I don't think anyone can deny that.

 

Am I wrong?

[NGC1300]

You sound very immature. Please do all single mom's a favor, DO NOT date them. You have every right to your opinion. I'm a single mom of 4. It's not easy but it's worth it when you find a person who can see past the fact that you are a single mom. Good luck. Maybe you'll grow up one day and see past the fact that a woman has kids and actually look at her as a person. If not, then so be it.

 

Well I'm sorry, I didn't know acknowledging a stark pattern would equate to immaturity.

 

Sorry to bother you guys.

[xxoo]

If the kids have grown up, that's one thing. But I'm still young enough where I might want a family of my own. Personally, I can't think of anything more degrading that raising some others mans kids, or even having to be around them for that matter.

 

It sounds like you shouldn't date single moms.

 

But why would it be degrading to raise children conceived by another man? I'd consider it a huge honor to be involved in a child's life. But I'm a mom (a married one).

[amaysngrace]

Physical attraction is a major component. I don't think anyone can deny that.

 

Am I wrong?

 

Why don't you just put it in your profile that you aren't interested in dating single moms so that whatever service you use won't even send their pictures to you since it seems that all you care about a woman is her looks.

 

Yes...single moms look good. That's why some guys wanted to knock them up.

[Woggle]

It sounds like you shouldn't date single moms.

 

But why would it be degrading to raise children conceived by another man? I'd consider it a huge honor to be involved in a child's life. But I'm a mom (a married one).

 

I would never consider it degrading. I would wonder though what went wrong with the father and can the same thing go wrong with us in the future. These are questions I would need to ask.

[NGC1300]

Yes...single moms look good. That's why some guys wanted to knock them up.

 

because having protected sex wasn't enough?

 

yeah ok.

[amaysngrace]

because having protected sex wasn't enough?

 

yeah ok.

 

Whatever. Stay away from them then. They don't need to be judged constantly by their boyfriend, they have real things to focus on....

[foreverandalways]

Well, with my story, I was pregnant at 20 and married my daughter's father at 23. We then had a son.

 

Throughout the course of my marriage, my ex was very verbally abusive, possessive, controlling, and a recovering (prescription) drug addict. He never really wanted to get help for his drug addiction so I dealt with it on and off for many years. He also used our rent and bill money to pay for his drugs. Responsible huh?

 

No, what is responsible, was me raising two small children. Marrying a man because he was their father. Focusing on THEM when I should have never married him in the first place. But I owed it to THEM to make sure that I tried. As you say, most women don't. But what do you know of their story?!

 

So now I'm 32, and divorced. Found a man that wants to be with me and loves my kids. He does not raise them as his own. They are not his, and their father actually is very involved in their lives. I'm not looking for a replacement dad for them.

 

My boyfriend is so kind to them, likes to do things with them, and when we're ready to move into his house eventually, he will be welcoming them into his house, because they will belong there too.

 

So please, do not date a single mother if that's not what you're "into". There are plenty of women out there without kids. But for us "single mothers" there are also plenty of respectful gentlemen as well.

 

For every single mother, there is also a 1) single father OR 2) deadbeat dad. So where's your post about them? Do you expect women to think the same things about single fathers who raise their children?

[NGC1300]

Maybe part of why you don't like these children is because you think they were conceived in stupidity.

 

I was a Virgin when I met my husband. I was married for ten years, my kids were conceived in wed lock. It's not MY or their fault that HE cheated. My kids are VERY hurt by his decision, as most children are who have been abandoned, the LAST thing they need is some guy assuming the worst about them because a selfish monster screwed over their mother...

 

I agree wtih that, and didn't mean to come off too harsh.

 

Also, I want to stress, I'm not talking about single moms in general; I'm talking about girls that are already single moms in their mid 20's.

 

Girls of this type literally saturate dating sites, and I honestly don't understand how anyone here can defend them or their actions. Yes a few might be single due to no fault of their own, but I don't see how the majority can be absolved of responsibility for their reckless actions.

 

I am the same age as many of these girls, and it's just so frustrating.

[foreverandalways]

I agree wtih that, and didn't mean to come off too harsh.

 

Also, I want to stress, I'm not talking about single moms in general; I'm talking about girls that are already single moms in their mid 20's.

 

Girls of this type literally saturate dating sites, and I honestly don't understand how anyone here can defend them or their actions. Yes a few might be single due to no fault of their own, but I don't see how the majority can be absolved of responsibility for their reckless actions.

 

I am the same age as many of these girls, and it's just so frustrating.

 

 

What about the actions of male? In the situations you speak of, the men were equally as reckless. Right? Why focus just on the women who are raising the child. Rather than also focusing on the man who you think left them to raise the child on their own.

[KungFuJoe]

Of all the things to rant about, you're complaining that too many women are single mothers?

 

Good lord I've heard it all on this site.

 

Do all the single moms a favor and stay the hell away.

 

Well...sounds like you already plan on doing that so kudos!

[NGC1300]

What about the actions of male? In the situations you speak of, the men were equally as reckless. Right? Why focus just on the women who are raising the child. Rather than also focusing on the man who you think left them to raise the child on their own.

 

Because I'm not interested in dating the men.

[Woggle]

What about the actions of male? In the situations you speak of, the men were equally as reckless. Right? Why focus just on the women who are raising the child. Rather than also focusing on the man who you think left them to raise the child on their own.

 

I see what you are saying but at the end of the day I would not be dating the male. I would not blame a woman for using as much scrutiny when looking for a partner. If somebody shows trouble forming healthy relationships what makes me thing it would be any different with me? That being said I would have to look at the circumstances.

 

If he did what AS's ex did then I would never blame a woman for leaving him but if she threw out a good guy because she cheated and all of a sudden realized she was never in love with her ex I would say next. It all depends on the reasons and if I think history will repeat itself with me.

[NGC1300]

Of all the things to rant about, you're complaining that too many women are single mothers?

 

How is that a minor thing?

 

Do you really think it's fair to the children involved? That their parents are seperated before they even reach the 3rd grade?

 

Gosh, this site has changed quite a bit since I last visited.