She is going travelling

[jimeny]

Ok basically, if you can't be bother with the whole thing skip to the last two paragraphs as it sums up the most part!

 

There is a girl that I used to work with, who I always got on extremely well with. We'd be able to have a lot of fun together on shifts and just seem to click very well.

Back then I didn't have any feelings for this girl as she was in a relationship, as was I.

 

Over time we both fell out of relationships and about 4 months ago I quit my job to go back to university and this is when I started to develop stronger feelings towards this girl.

I will always remember my last shift when all of my work colleagues on that day said there goodbyes, but she walked off and kind of ignored the situation, which I found strange as we had a lot of good times together whilst working. We later that evening exchanged a few messages and that was that.

 

Then it came to my leaving do, in my drunk state I told one of my other colleagues about my feelings that I developed and I it was passed on to the girl but she didn't believe it when she was told.

Now I thought it would be a good idea to send a text to her at the end of the night saying it was true and how I felt. Now this point I had been told she had been coming out of a very bad relationship and was on the rebound plus she was going to go travelling in a few months, and that night she said she only saw my as a friend.

 

Now a lot of people would say to me, why are we not together, considering how well we got on and they got the feeling there was something more. But I thought at this point I would just leave it because of what she said and the fact she was going travelling.

 

Skip forward a couple more months and I was invited to her leaving do from work, my friend how still worked with her was getting a sense that she had developed something for me, she would ask about him coming to the leaving do, hang around and continually ask whether I was going to be coming.

 

Now the night of her leaving do, we were very happy to see each other, but it was a strange beginning to the evening as she seemed to just ignore me, but it was blatant, she would speak to the person I was standing with and give minimal eye contact or interaction with me.

The rest of the evening was great fun we chatted, had a good dance and had a lot of fun etc..

Now one of her friends come up to me and says it obvious I feelings for her, which I didn't deny. So I asked what she thought about me and she says she can't really say and she is going travelling in a month or so, so it wouldn't be a good idea if we "hooked up". She said, you want her because you know you can't have her, which I replied saying thats rubbish, I have had a massive crush on her for a while.

After the evening ended, I got a cab home with her friend and she asked why didn't I tell her how I felt and that she did like me, but it wasn't wise before she went away as it would be difficult for you both, which I can understand, as she would be away for 6 months.

 

Now I need advice to whether I should say anything before she goes travelling? I haven't felt like this about a girl for a few years now and she has been on my mind a hell of a lot for the last 3 or 4 months.

Does she like me, as obviously her saying she sees me as a friend threw me but I can understand someone saying that to protect themselves after a poor relationship and obviously going away, as now after her friends telling me she does like me that means nothing.

 

Do I try and see her or talk to her before she goes away, say something like I'd like to take you out for dinner and drinks when you get back, or tell her how I feel again. Or do I just leave it and say I hope you have a great time away?

[whichwayisup]

Tell her when she's back in 6 months, you're taking her out on a date!

[jimeny]

So just simply leave it all and ask her on the date when she gets back?

[newmoon]

i travel a lot and imo, it's kinda selfish when someone tells you something important before you leave. it usually ruins your trip because you think it over too much, or you think it over for a bit and then forget it and the person. it's NOT an optimal time to tell someone something. this girl is prolly focused on her upcoming trip and (obviously) dating is not on her mind right now. asking her out before she goes, or declaring your feelings is bad timing - wait until she gets back. she might be completely different when she returns (as could you).

[jimeny]

Very sound and good advice, thank you newmoon, I will wait until she gets back and then see how I feel about the situation..