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Signs a guy is falling in love or wanting more??? How does he show it??


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dolphinsunshyn

I have posted this one in the dating forum also, but I'm still looking for answers....

 

I've been dating a guy for two months now. He is really busy and has made it clear that he is not ready for a serious full-time relationship. I can live with that. He stays really busy and sometimes I feel a little neglected even though I shouldn't because there is no commitment there. I told him I wanted to take things slow and wait until the time is right for both of us before we got serious. So, we are both on the same page as far as that goes.

 

My dilema is that the more time I spend with him the more I am starting to care about him. I know I am at the point now where I want more, but I also know that he is not ready to invest the time in a relationship. I am really afraid to invest too much myself in fear that I will have my heart broken. But, at the same time, I'm willing to risk it. He is the only one that I have dated in the last few years that would be worthy of my tears if things should fall through. This guy is absolutly wonderful! He is everything I have ever looked for in a mate. We have really gotten to know each other because the first month of our courtship he was away so we chatted and e-mailed each other 2-3 times a day and got really close before we even went out on an official date. That is why I feel so frustrated. All of the ingrediants to a healthy, great relationship are there. But, how long do I wait for it to happen? We are walking a fine line between frienship and love.

 

I think I'm confused on how to proceeed at this point. I have told him that the ball is in his court and that I will wait until he is ready (for now). I'm not going to chase him. But, I also make it perfectly clear that I do care about him and think that he is wonderful. I am confused at how guys think. He has told me that he cares about me. He has called me his "truest friend" and has said that I am one of the few people that he tells everything to and he talks to me more than his best friend. Which, to me, is a huge compliment. But, in the meanwhile, he barely has time to see me. We are only seeing each other 1 time every week or two. We have nothing lacking in any department except for the hinderence of time. I know that this relationship will be absolutly great if we ever get to that point. I'm just curious to what he is thinking at this point. I have asked him, but he doesn't give me much.

 

What do you all think? Is this something I should wait for or does it sound like he just wants to be friends and nothing more? How can you tell if a guy is falling in love with you? Maybe if I see the signs I wouldn't feel so frustated. I'll know there is something worth waiting for. Guys, what are the things you do when you are falling in love with someone? What signs should I look for?

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How can you tell if a guy is falling in love with you?

 

#1 on the List: He makes time to see you.

I don't care how busy he is. Busy is an excuse that people use when they don't want to do something. Any guy who is really, really interested in a girl finds the time to see her.

 

He is really busy and has made it clear that he is not ready for a serious full-time relationship.

 

I think you need to date other men. You are getting way too invested in a guy who has made it very clear that he does not want a serious relationship. Maybe he'll change his mind...but it's more likely he won't. Guys don't say things like this to girls they are really interested in and really like.

 

It really sounds like he values your friendship...but that's about it. :(

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dolphinsunshyn

You have a good point. But, in his defense. I don't think he is seeing anyone else or wanting to date anyone else. I think he is really just busy right now and doesn't have time for relationships in general. We do live about and hour from each other and he his a daughter ever other weekend so we don't get a lot of time. Knowing that I still sometimes feel neglected, even as a friend. When I called him on it, he apologized and said that he really wants to see me and that he really cares about me. But, on the otherhand I agree with you. I think if you want to be with someone you would create the time to see them. I'm so confused!!

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But, in his defense. I don't think he is seeing anyone else or wanting to date anyone else.

 

This is irrelevant.

 

He has been very up front and honest with you that he does not want a serious relationship. Whether he means "with you" or "with anyone" is also irrelevant. He wants something different than what you want. So...why are you allowing yourself to get invested in this? If you want to see him casually, fine, but don't get your heart set on him changing his mind and falling magically in love with you overnight. Of course it could happen--anything can happen. But it's up to you now to protect your heart. Again, he has told you what he wants out of this--it's up to you to listen to him and then proceed in the smartest way for you. IMO, that means that you date other men, continue on with your fabulous life, and maybe see him every now and then "when he has time." (If you are able to see him without developing more feelings for him.)

 

You will only end up hurting more if you allow yourself to continue to become invested in a man who (1) does not make time to see you, and (2) has made it clear that he is not looking for a serious relationship.

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He has called me his "truest friend"

 

Please, SEE OTHER PEOPLE. The "friend" word should be a HUGE clue!

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  • 1 year later...
love is a curse
#1 on the List: He makes time to see you.

I don't care how busy he is. Busy is an excuse that people use when they don't want to do something. Any guy who is really, really interested in a girl finds the time to see her.

 

 

 

I think you need to date other men. You are getting way too invested in a guy who has made it very clear that he does not want a serious relationship. Maybe he'll change his mind...but it's more likely he won't. Guys don't say things like this to girls they are really interested in and really like.

 

It really sounds like he values your friendship...but that's about it. :(

I've been dating a guy for two years and we just had a baby in September. I'm very confused i have no family to talk to I'm a fosterchild . He doesn't seem like he wants to marry me anytime soon. When I joke with him and say let's get married he says .No I'm still waiting!! I don't know how much longer i can wait . Love sucks when you hold on to tight!!!

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  • 1 month later...

oh my god, i feel like am reading my own life here, ive been dating a really fab guy for the last three months. In the beginning we only saw each other 1 once a week but spoke everyday through text and spoke in the telephone three times a day, but with in the last couple of weeks i havent hurd anything. He says that he is busy at wotk hi works in a supermarket and its coming up to xmas, and he promises me that after xmas he will spend all out time together. Can anybody help, should i call him and find out where i stand?

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