Teknoe Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I don't do so well at informal gatherings and parties where the people are of a certain ilk. I'm a very old fashioned guy who doesn't have a smart phone, not a foodie, not big on traveling, etc. Yesterday I was at a BBQ where the people were talking about restaurants, fun spots to visit, etc. I just don't do well in these type of conversations, so I found myself listening in and only adding in a one liner here and there. To be honest, I felt quite awkward. They were also talking business, but to be honest I don't know much about business terms or talk. I'm a guy who does best at talking about relationships, emotions, movies, sports and experiences. When people start talking business, politics, food or places, I just don't have much to add. I also realize in informal gathering I just don't do so well socializing. For whatever reason, I'm much better when it's a formal meeting, where we all sit in a circle and people share (at length) one at a time (only if you want to). For whatever reason, I do well here, where I can talk to the entire group and all eyes are on me for that minute or so. But when it's an informal hang out, I find myself much more quiet and I often listen more than I share. It's kind of weird! Haha. Can anyone else relate, or is this just me?? I like food but I don't have a Yelp account (let alone being an elite Yelper), I like staying home (so when people talk about they wanna go here, go there, I'm quiet as a mouse; I just like quiet nights at home), etc. For context, these were people I see about once/twice a month, although yesterday was my first time seeing them in maybe two months. I don't feel too strong a connection to them, hence probably why I felt even more awkward yesterday. But yeah, I find I'm much more comfortable in a "let's gather around as a big group and share one at a time" versus a free for all "socialize with whoever you want" and you get the usual clumpings (most popular kids with most popular, medium with medium, and low with low). I wonder if it has anything to do with my flare for enjoying being center stage in a formal setting, but informal I become very quiet and shy. I just prefer to listen than talk in informal settings. Anyway, am I alone in this regard??? Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Nope, introvert ? When i meet a new group of ppl, i tend to sit on the sides or in a corner and listen. It takes me a while to warm up, open up, contribute ... it's lucky that i have a hobby in reading a lot of weird stuff. I also have a hard time controlling my tonality when all eyes are on me and keeping the crowd focused on me. I have a feeling that i transmit a message of 'it's ok to talk over me' once they get to know me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 Nope, introvert ? When i meet a new group of ppl, i tend to sit on the sides or in a corner and listen. It takes me a while to warm up, open up, contribute ... it's lucky that i have a hobby in reading a lot of weird stuff. I also have a hard time controlling my tonality when all eyes are on me and keeping the crowd focused on me. I have a feeling that i transmit a message of 'it's ok to talk over me' once they get to know me. I think over the years I became less and less extroverted. I used to be an extrovert I think, or at least, an introvert with extroverted tendencies... but recent years I've become more sort of private. I much prefer 1 on 1 vs. an informal "party" where I feel easily lost in the crowd. Link to post Share on other sites
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