Trust issues due to ex cheating

[sarahmonty2012]

Hi,

 

About a year ago I split with my ex partner of 14 years. He cheated on me, it took alot, but i forgave him and just when I thought i was getting over it, he cheated again. He would chat on facebook, meet up with girls, skype late at night when I am sleeping in the next room , tell me so many lies about working late and other things..so many lies about everything.

 

Well, I am glad to say that I am completely over my ex. He is now with one of the girls he had an affair with.

 

I have met this great guy. He is really sweet and in my heart of hearts I know he is a good guy. But i thought my ex was to and never thought he would do the things he did.

 

I suspect my boyfriend all the time of the most ridiculous things, thankfully i dont tell him about it or he would think I'm crazy. If his phone pings, I wonder who it is, meantime is a guy buddy etc.

 

We are doing a long distance relationship, which doesn't help, but if I dont hear from him I immediately think he has met someone else and I have been replaced and disgarded. It is so difficult constantly thinking that the man I love is going to cheat, its just a matter of time.

 

I am worried my past is going to ruin my future.

 

How do I shake this paranoia? How do I stop thinking that my boyfriend is always lying to me. He doesn't deserve my distrust.

 

Thanks!

[Chunky]

I know how you feel. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman who's ex cheated on her. She actually walked in on them while they were in bed together. At times she has trouble trusting me because of that even though I've done nothing to deserve it. The only thing I can say to her is that I've never given her any reason to distrust me. Have an honest talk with him and tell him how you were hurt in the past. Let him know sometimes you are afraid. Try to trust if he's given no reason not to. If he's honest and it shows tell him you appreciate it. It can be hard not being trusted