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I need to speak to Gibson on these forums :(


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Estersyntes

Hello Gibson.

I have been reading your answers in threads, and you seem to be the kind of guy that would understand my problem. I made this account only to be able to hear your wise words. Ofc also other people.

 

And i truly need guidance at this moment. To make a long story short.

Im together with a guy which is 3 years younger than me and im a 22 year old female. I know he loves me to death, he left his own country to come and live with me, we met through the net. Hes a gentleman sometimes but he never really makes me feel special, he never helps at home even though i tell him too and well im cooking and everything for him, cleaning and pleasing him every night, even though i go to school and im exhausted. I dont care about these things because i love him. He tells me he fins me attractive but i can never feel that hes longing for me, he never tries to have sex with me (im a so called "cute" girl, i guess most guys would say, but well im skinny and dont really have the kind of body which he likes big butts most of all, generally curvy ladies).

 

Anyways. My big issue is. I wouldnt really mind all this cause I truly love him, but im truly against porn, with all its meanigs. I cant bare that my love is watching other females naked bodies. And most of all Trust is everything for me in a relationship. Honestly if there is no trust there is no relationship. And also, id rather live my life alone than having a boyfriend watching porn. Im against it with every single meaning. And im never gonna force my boyfriend to stop, but he has to be honest and give me my right to choose if i want to stay with him or not if he watches porn.

 

I have seen porn two times on his computer of the two times i have checked on his computer. Even though he has sworn to my life hes not watching because he knows how much it hurts me. He promised me and i said i dont want your promise i trust you, now prove me your worth my trust the first time. And he failed once again. And trust me i have too many opportunities to check his computer but im not because i trust him. But today i came home from school and saw his underwear had wet spots on it. I said hmm lets try to give him a ... bj.. and we had to keep going forever and he didnt come in the end cause he had just came before i got home... so what im trying to say is obviously he had watch it, and when he went for a shower i decided to check and yes i found on hes history "big sexy ass" "sexy girl ass" etc..

 

Anyways... I love him.. and he loves me.. but he broke my trust and i dont think a relationship without trust can work... The first time i saw porn on his computer i was feeling devastated for a whole month, i didnt trust him when i was leaving my house, always rushed home to make sure he didnt have time to watch, always felt unattractive. And now for the second time its going to take ****ing ages to even reach near the trust i have grown for him again. Tell me gibson (or any other wise person), please tell me, am i overreacting? Or can I find someone that respects my opinions? are there guys like that out there? or should i stick to my love which is breaking my trust, should i learn to accept that he is watching porn? Hes so young, he never had sex neither have I. Hes watching porn but not trying to have sex with me because he says hes afraid of hurting me (we have tried a couple of times but it has hurted me). I dont know, please tell me? should i learn to live with porn or do you think there is someone out there that can love me just as much as him but also respect my opinions and not break my trust?

 

Please i beg you, i need to know what next step i should take in this relationship and i need advice. This is my first serious relationship.

I love you guys, thanks for any kind of advice.

Edited by Estersyntes
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Estersyntes

As the title says, im really desperate for advice, i have none i can talk to this problem about. Im not seeking any compassion or anything, I just really need some good old advice from wise people before I make a stupid mistake, to stay or to leave.

 

To many it might seem like im overreacting... But for me its life and death of my relationship

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