superstaroxox Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) I just recently ended my 3-year marriage with my husband and am going through a divorce. The relationship was very unhealthy and I was very depressed in it. Well, my husband went a little crazy when I left him. He has anger problems and really went off the wall, which included him coming to my parents house to try and talk to me to even a police phone call when he continued not to leave me alone. I ended up cutting off all contact with him and that made him even angrier. Well, after about 3 weeks of arguing and about 1 week of no contact, he ended up coming down to my school to talk to me and I talked to him, even though he was very angry when I ignored him at first. Seeing him brought back a lot of emotions and I have never questioned how much he loves me. Well, before I know it we are talking again and have been intimate together. He is telling me great things that I want to hear and I honestly believe him. I have NO plans whatsoever to get back with him and I have made that clear to him. We're still going through the divorce. I just feel like, even though out all the bad things he's done to me and everything he's put me through, I know the great person he really is deep down inside. And I do trust him even though everyone thinks I shouldn't. Well, after he took me out to the beach for my birthday yesterday, I decided to tell my parents. They were really proud of me because I had been strong to leave him and I honestly was even planning on getting a restraining order cuz he wouldn't leave me alone, so it came as a big surprise to them. My mom FLIPPED out on me and told me I was betraying the family, that I had chosen him first, and I was going back to someone who had made threats against my family. She told me that she wasn't going to live like this and I would need to find somewhere else to live. It really hurt me, because I would NEVER deliberately put my family in danger. If I really believed that my husband would hurt my family I would stay as FAR away as I could! And I would never choose him over them. I feel like yes, maybe I am too forgiving, but I am definitely not trying to hurt them by doing this! I just love him and truly trust him and it's hard to just completely cut someone out of my life that was my first true love. I am devastated and I feel like a complete idiot. There's something telling me that I'm stupid and have given him way too many chances. I can't seem to forgive myself for forgiving him, but I also can't seem to cut him out of my life without giving him another chance. I honestly know in my heart that if he hurt me again, that would be the last chance I gave him! I do understand that my parents dont want the drama in their household, and I don't want that at all either! I can live with that, but I can't handle that they really think I would betray them by giving him another chance. I also feel like I can't forgive myself because I do know I'm a great person that deserves the best and I feel I'm always selling myself short. But the other part of me says that I know this and I was strong enough to leave the relationship and know I deserved better. Any tips on how I can forgive myself and get some insight on what I'm going through here? Edited May 25, 2012 by superstaroxox Link to post Share on other sites
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