Jump to content

Why do women say one thing, and mean or do the other????


Recommended Posts

Seriously. I see this way too much.

 

One example:

 

My aunt at 39 years old with a 7 year old told my dad (her brother) "If anything ever happens between my husband and I, I couldn't remarry and put another man in my son's life. I wouldn't feel comfortable." 4 years later, she divorced her husband, met someone, married him a year later. (they're all happy by the way)

 

Another example:

 

A female neighbor of our family when she divorced said "I want to date but I'll never want another baby".........She not only fell for a new man, she planned out and had a kid with him.

 

One more:

 

My older sister said she would never date guys who make less money than our family does. Needless to say, she's dating a poorer guy, and she's wild for him.

 

I bet most of you here can give more examples. I'd love the ladies to answer this. Why is it that women say one thing, but end up doing another thing???? I noticed this EVERYWHERE. Even with my girlfriends of the past. What's the deal???

Link to post
Share on other sites
strawberryshortstack

It's called a change of heart. Guys are just as guilty of this as women.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
It's called a change of heart. Guys are just as guilty of this as women.

 

I'll agree. But I've been seeing way more women guilty of it. Not that I see anything wrong in it, but it seems to be more of a "woman thing". Sorry if I sound macho.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The primary problem that men have with women in communications is that men are linear thinkers and women think in curves. For example, I was on a road trip with a lady friend and she says to me, "Do you think that there is a restaurant around here?" Naturally, being a linear thinker and answering the question posed, I said, "I don't believe so." After being sullen and quiet for an hour or so, she blurted out, "What a jerk! Didn't you know that I meant I was hungry and wanted to stop and eat?" I responded, "then why didn't you say so?"

 

My point is that we men tend to take things literally whereas for a woman everything is a curve ball.

 

I have also noticed that men make statements that are permanent in their minds ... the honor thing. But when a woman makes a statement, or vow, they are only stating their intent.

Edited by Boogiedog
Link to post
Share on other sites

At "that time" in her life she probably felt that way...and then life throws things at you and your mind changes.

 

Personally I prefer people who can go with the flow so to speak...rigidity is no fun :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
The primary problem that men have with women in communications is that men are linear thinkers and women think in curves. For example, I was on a road trip with a lady friend and she says to me, "Do you think that there is a restaurant around here?" Naturally, being a linear thinker and answering the question posed, I said, "I don't believe so." After being sullen and quiet for an hour or so, she blurted out, "What a jerk! Didn't you know that I meant I was hungry and wanted to stop and eat?" I responded, "then why didn't you say so?"

 

My point is that we men tend to take things literally whereas for a woman everything is a curve ball.

 

I have also noticed that men make statements that are permanent in their minds ... the honor thing. But when a woman makes a statement, or vow, they are only stating their intent.

 

Wow. I have also seen an example like this one.

 

It seems we're linear and women speak in curveball terms.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
At "that time" in her life she probably felt that way...and then life throws things at you and your mind changes.

 

Personally I prefer people who can go with the flow so to speak...rigidity is no fun :)

 

It seems like that was it.

 

The women said they wouldn't re-marry or fall in love having children already and they end up doing it anyway.

 

I also agree that women (and men) should go with the flow. Life is better and more healthy that way.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When women communicate they are using and looking for social cues that men are just not adept at picking up. This goes along with the linear/curve thinking. A simplistic was to describe it would be to say men are like dogs and women are like cats. Dogs go right up and sniff at something, cats might travel around the whole entire area before they go and sniff at the same thing.

 

Also the thing that men need to understand that women are different in that they want to settle down and have families. It is just in our nature. It is not some plot out to get men to submit, it is just a simple biological fact.

 

The really beautiful thing about men and women is that we are equal but different, and we are different but equal.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Seriously. I see this way too much.

 

One example:

 

My aunt at 39 years old with a 7 year old told my dad (her brother) "If anything ever happens between my husband and I, I couldn't remarry and put another man in my son's life. I wouldn't feel comfortable." 4 years later, she divorced her husband, met someone, married him a year later. (they're all happy by the way)

 

Another example:

 

A female neighbor of our family when she divorced said "I want to date but I'll never want another baby".........She not only fell for a new man, she planned out and had a kid with him.

 

One more:

 

My older sister said she would never date guys who make less money than our family does. Needless to say, she's dating a poorer guy, and she's wild for him.

 

I bet most of you here can give more examples. I'd love the ladies to answer this. Why is it that women say one thing, but end up doing another thing???? I noticed this EVERYWHERE. Even with my girlfriends of the past. What's the deal???

 

Women truly don't know what they want. Women can't make up their minds. They're given too much freedom to make decisions that they're otherwise incapable of doing. This is strictly my opinion from observation.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Women truly don't know what they want. Women can't make up their minds. They're given too much freedom to make decisions that they're otherwise incapable of doing. This is strictly my opinion from observation.

 

I'll agree.

 

Also I agree with what many people here say that women are more "curvy" with their thinking and words and men are more "linear". It's truly interesting.

 

Any other examples anyone has seen????

Link to post
Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky

I'm fine with changing one's mind. The issue I have is with the courtesy to not inconvenience someone else by skimping on communication of that change. It's possible to negotiate anything--even the demise of a previously steamy romance--without parties getting ripped up about it. But too often, the party changing their mind chicken shi+s out from facing the truth with their partner or assumes it's impossible to communicate (which is often just a tacit way to relieve oneself from trying) and he or she then gets stuck wondering where, how, why and when feelings changed. It leaves someone second-guessing themselves and asking "what happened" or, typically with me, "what is it about me that caused this?" Everyone can and should do a better job.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 years later...
  • Author

MOST women (note: not all) don't really mean what they say when they communicate to men with whom they can/will potentially mate. Women will easily go against their word if the situation calls for it.

 

A woman can tell a man that she never liked him/loved him one week, then go chasing him the next. A woman can tell a man, "I'll never do 'XYZ'", then if the man plays his cards right, the woman will do it. When a woman says "I'll never date a jerk again", guess who her next relationship will be with????......

 

Bottom line, I'm learning that women's words mean ZERO.

 

Opinions??? Thoughts???

Link to post
Share on other sites

Its in my experience that most people men and woman do not hold true to their words sometimes they do but usually the case is if they dont know you very well they dont care what was once said. I find only those close to you and family are the people you can really count on.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2

EVERYBODY means what they say - until they don't.

 

People change their minds because something happened to make them change their mind.

 

A woman can tell a man that she never liked him/loved him one week, then go chasing him the next.

 

What probably happened is that HE stopped chasing HER...

 

A woman can tell a man, "I'll never do 'XYZ'", then if the man plays his cards right, the woman will do it.

Falling in love? A desire to please? An effort to try?

 

When a woman says "I'll never date a jerk again", guess who her next relationship will be with????......

People stick with what they know.

Those kinds of decisions are often out of sync, but old habits die hard.

It's not that they say something and don't mean it.

That kind of dating points to an insecurity and lack of self esteem.

That's not 'not saying what they mean'. That's a fear of doing something that works, and needs attention.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Part of becoming a well rounded, well socialised adult is to understand how people communicate. Most communication is indirect and non-verbal, people often change their mind, no-one has perfect self-awareness and sometimes what is said conveys a wish rather than something one has any control over.

 

If you take everything at face value in life, it's a sign that you aren't used being around people and perhaps should get out more.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
EVERYBODY means what they say - until they don't.

 

lol Do you really think thats true? There are sooo many examples to prove you wrong that its pointless to squabble over it by typing them out.

 

 

People change their minds because something happened to make them change their mind.

 

At times yes. But the OP isnt talking about that sort of situation. We're not talking about being on a diet, and waking up telling yourself, I'm not going to eat junk food today, and then changing your mind and eating 3 candy bars later in the day.

 

Your response, and what the OP is talking about is like night and day. And you know it is...I think you are trying to extinguish the flames on this topic.

 

 

You ask ANY regular, unbiased guy, that isnt afraid to tell it like it is...and he will tell you straight up that most women say one thing and do another. Not on here, but in the real world you will be hard pressed to find a guy that doesnt feel that way. Hell, I know a handful of women that openly admit it. They dont take sides like a lot of women do on topics like this. They know damn well that many women are completely screwed up when it comes to this.

 

EVERY female manager/boss that I have ever known has openly admitted that she would rather have a group of guys work for her than a group of women. Why? Because typically when you put a group of women together, especially in a work environment, the drama, the gossip, the finger pointing, and the catty backstabbing escalates within the group.

 

Theres so many women that give compliments to other women that are complete bullsh*t and fake. Especially if they dont like the woman, and her outfits look terrible, she will tell her "Oh you look great" to her face, while she's really thinking "How does she even show her face in public with that on"?

 

 

I guess years and years of men complaining about when you ask a woman...."Honey is there anything wrong"? and the woman replyng with "No, I'm fine" when she's actually ready to explode inside is just unfounded, and a complete fabrication of men and our wild imagination huh?

Edited by Male
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
lol Do you really think thats true? There are sooo many examples to prove you wrong that its pointless to squabble over it by typing them out.

 

 

 

 

At times yes. But the OP isnt talking about that sort of situation. We're not talking about being on a diet, and waking up telling yourself, I'm not going to eat junk food today, and then changing your mind and eating 3 candy bars later in the day.

 

Your response, and what the OP is talking about is like night and day. And you know it is...I think you are trying to extinguish the flames on this topic.

 

 

You ask ANY regular, unbiased guy, that isnt afraid to tell it like it is...and he will tell you straight up that most women say one thing and do another. Not on here, but in the real world you will be hard pressed to find a guy that doesnt feel that way. Hell, I know a handful of women that openly admit it. They dont take sides like a lot of women do on topics like this. They know damn well that many women are completely screwed up when it comes to this.

 

EVERY female manager/boss that I have ever known has openly admitted that she would rather have a group of guys work for her than a group of women. Why? Because typically when you put a group of women together, especially in a work environment, the drama, the gossip, the finger pointing, and the catty backstabbing escalates within the group.

 

Theres so many women that give compliments to other women that are complete bullsh*t and fake. Especially if they dont like the woman, and her outfits look terrible, she will tell her "Oh you look great" to her face, while she's really thinking "How does she even show her face in public with that on"?

 

My examples in the original post are excellent examples.

 

My favorite.....a woman breaks up with a man, tells him they're 100 percent over and that she never loved him, etc. A month later, she is chasing him (either directly or indirectly) and they are back together thanks to her actions.

Link to post
Share on other sites
MOST women (note: not all) don't really mean what they say when they communicate to men with whom they can/will potentially mate. Women will easily go against their word if the situation calls for it.

 

A woman can tell a man that she never liked him/loved him one week, then go chasing him the next. A woman can tell a man, "I'll never do 'XYZ'", then if the man plays his cards right, the woman will do it. When a woman says "I'll never date a jerk again", guess who her next relationship will be with????......

 

Bottom line, I'm learning that women's words mean ZERO.

 

Opinions??? Thoughts???

 

MOST men (note: not all) don't really mean what they say when they communicate to women with whom they can/will potentially mate.

Men will easily go against their word if the situation calls for it.

 

A man can tell a woman that he never liked her/loved her one week, then go chasing her the next.

A man can tell a woman, "I'll never do 'XYZ'", then if the woman plays her cards right, the man will do it.

When a man says "I'll never date a slut again", guess who his next relationship will be with????......

 

Bottom line, I'm learning that men's words mean ZERO.

 

Opinions??? Thoughts???

 

:rolleyes:

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
A man can tell a woman that he never liked her/loved her one week, then go chasing her the next.

A man can tell a woman, "I'll never do 'XYZ'", then if the woman plays her cards right, the man will do it.

When a man says "I'll never date a slut again", guess who his next relationship will be with????......

 

Bottom line, I'm learning that men's words mean ZERO.

 

Opinions??? Thoughts???

 

:rolleyes:

 

A man will never tell a woman that he never liked or loved her, and chase her the next week. Where do you get that one from???

 

When a man clearly says he won't do something, there is a good chance he won't do it.

 

And men are smart enough to not say what their mating/dating patterns will be when they brake up/were left. They may say "with that type of girl, I'll just hit it and quit it" and most of the times they're right.

Link to post
Share on other sites
MOST men (note: not all) don't really mean what they say when they communicate to women with whom they can/will potentially mate.

Men will easily go against their word if the situation calls for it.

 

 

:rolleyes:

 

 

And I agree. See how easy that is? I dont scour the messages on here trying to stand up for my gender and dismiss the accusations like some members do on here.

 

I will however, interject that a lot of men blatantly lie to get something from a woman. The guy knows he is lying the whole time.

 

Whereas I believe many women have situations where they say one thing, and then their emotions cause them to do a 180 flip without their control. Its just a biological thing sometimes, but some women just wont admit that for some reason. They like to "pretend" they are different than all the other women on the planet.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
And I agree. See how easy that is? I dont scour the messages on here trying to stand up for my gender and dismiss the accusations like some members do on here.

 

I will however, interject that a lot of men blatantly lie to get something from a woman. The guy knows he is lying the whole time.

 

Whereas I believe many women have situations where they say one thing, and then their emotions cause them to do a 180 flip without their control. Its just a biological thing sometimes, but some women just wont admit that for some reason. They like to "pretend" they are different than all the other women on the planet.

 

That's the point. If men change their minds and go against their word, it either means they are lying, or are plotting something.

 

A woman will get emotional, say all sorts of nonsense, the do a complete 180 after significant time has passed, and she'll go gains her word (women who go back to exes for example).

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...