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Still friends with ex bf, wants to borrow my truck for road trip-Help


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I am still friends with my ex bf that I was with for 4.5 yrs (knew each other for 8 all together). We split up last December. He has been traveling around for 6 months between FL and PA doing some work and a lot of partying. He came back here for a few weeks. He asked to borrow my new truck that I am struggling to pay for to take on a road trip back to PA and keep it for a few weeks. We live in TX. I feel somewhat obligated to lend it to him because I drove his new car for the entire time we were together. He said he would give me his car to use while he was gone. However I really don't want to lend it to him but I am afraid of his reaction. He will say I don't trust him and probably tell me not to ask him for anything. I think I can trust him with it but I don't really want all those miles put on my truck and sometimes sh*& does happen and I work so hard to afford it and sacrafice a lot. He is the only person I know here besides by new boyfriend and his family. I don't know what to do. My new bf, who I am totally in love with says it is up to me. I don't think he really likes that I still have a friendship with the ex (he won't actually say it though) but I have known him a long time and know if I am in a pinch I can rely on him.

 

Help, I don't know what to do...lend the truck, continue the friendship?

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If this friendship is so fragile that you saying no will end it, you don't have much of a friendship. There's no way in hell I'd let any friend borrow my vehicle.....especially if he/she is known to party and drive. Would your insurance cover another driver using your vehicle?

 

Personally I think you're setting yourself up for big-time trouble if you do this.

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I agree with Fancy. You'd be doing a foolish thing to lend him your truck. Especially since it's brand new and you're struggling to pay for it. PA is a LONG way from TX and does your insurance cover him as well? It would be a huge liability either way!

 

I can't blame your boyfriend for not liking your friendship with your ex. Still relying on eachother "in a pinch" should be something you and your current boyfriend have. As for ending the friendship, I don't think that's neccessary, but definitely cut down the amount of time you spend talking with him. An occasional "Hi" every few months would suffice but anything on a regular basis, you're just asking for trouble. Cut the cord. Invest your time in your current boyfriend.

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I agree and will tell him no on the truck but I hate feeling guilty about it. As for the new bf, I know it would drive me crazy if he still communicated with his ex. I don't really talk to my ex that much and he is barely in town these days. You are defenitely right about relying on my currect in a pinch and of course he would be the first one I would call but if for any reason we won't last then who would I turn to. I couldn't turn to his family anymore. I guess if our friendship is based on lending a truck then it isn't really a friendship after all. Personally I think that is a huge favor to ask and I would never dream of asking anyone that!

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if for any reason we won't last then who would I turn to.

 

Anybody else. Friends. Family. It's not fair to either of you to keep him hanging on as some sort of second-string backup in case your life tanks!

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I agree and I guess to some point that is what we are both doing. All of my family live in PA and GA. Not much to choose from for friends. I have lived here 5 years and have not really made any.

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Not much to choose from for friends. I have lived here 5 years and have not really made any.

 

Then why not make a bigger effort to make some friends? That's a long time to live somewhere and not really have any friends. Why not do something that peaks your interests like joining a bowling league or some other kind of club in an area that you're interested in? That's a great way to meet people.

 

Everyone needs friends! Are you just overly shy or are you just not clicking with the people out there? Whatever the case, seriously make an effort to make some friends. Aren't you lonely out there?

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So what you drove his new car when you were "TOGETHER"..you're no longer together, you don't owe him jack sh*t. What kind of nimrod would ask his ex if he could switch vehicles for a few weeks, so he can take their vehicle on a road-trip? He sounds like a moron for even asking this of you. I'm completely astounded that you'd even have to question what to do here. You're working hard to be able to afford a truck that he could potentially trash the sh*t out of, or total, or destroy? I can see it now.....you'll then be a claimant on Judge Judy, and she'll be telling you how insane you were for even CONSIDERING lending him your truck.

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