pricecheck023 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 My friends and I have a tradition of going to this same bar every thursday night to hear a buddy play music. There is this girl, Megan, who is also there every Thursday. I originally didn't know her when we first started going. She would always just show up by herself and go hang out with some other friends I know at their table. This girl is one of the sexiest and gorgeous girls I've ever seen. I'm sort of a shy guy so I never introduced myself for the longest time, plus she's a little quite too. Then, finally, a mutual friend introduced her to me the night of my birthday and it became obvious that she was into me. She was very flirty to say the least. Another week or 2 went by and myself and 2 friends joined her at a table late in the night when she was sitting there alone. We, again, hit it off good, making each other laugh, and being flirty. I told her that I wanted to eat at the restaurant that she was a manager of sometime and she said that I should call her ahead of time to make reservations. Not having her number I made the clever move of saying ''well how am I suppose to call you if I don't have your number?'' From that point on we would text "flirty" things to each other every now and then. Then one thursday she ended up coming home with me and some friends. Once my other friends left, Megan stayed with me and we hooked up. Halfway through the night she started saying she should go.....because she was engaged.....nice. But she hinted that our night was to be continued. I like to think of myself as a good guy. I don't wanna mess with a girl thats involved with another dude. It's shady I know. But, even though we haven't done anything sexual since then we still see each other every week and flirt and she talks about how much she wants to do me and how hot I am and that maybe when her guy is out of town again we can do something. I'm also starting to really like her emotionally because we connect on so many levels other than just attraction. In fact, I've fallen head over heels for this girl...Her "fiance" is never around and apparently they've been engaged for like 3 yrs or more so I'm starting to wonder if they really want to go through with marriage. I've heard he just plays Call of Duty all the time. Like I say, I know this is making me a complete dick to continue talking to this girl, but I can't help how I feel for her. I don't know what to do...I know everybody's just gonna say find another girl or forget about her, but it's not that easy. I see her every week. And in my opinion this girl is special because I've been single for a long time now, waiting for someone I truly want to be with to come along and this is her. Others have come and gone bc they didn't have that spark that pulled me in, but this girl has it. But what the hell do I do? She's even sent me dirty pics of her....it's killing me. Also, I know people are gonna say she's probably a slut and why would I wanna be with someone who cheats, but I'm just wondering if her relationship just isn't what it use to be with her guy, but I feel like she believes that since shes already gotten engaged and so use to being engaged that there's no turning back now and that she has to stay with him. I need this girl in my life. It's killing me. How do I get through to her? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Once my other friends left, Megan stayed with me and we hooked up. Halfway through the night she started saying she should go.....because she was engaged.....nice. But she hinted that our night was to be continued. I like to think of myself as a good guy. I don't wanna mess with a girl thats involved with another dude. It's shady I know. But, even though we haven't done anything sexual since then we still see each other every week and flirt and she talks about how much she wants to do me and how hot I am and that maybe when her guy is out of town again we can do something. Keep in mind she is engaged and if they do break up, what she is doing to her fiancee, she could easily do to you one day... She is using you. Not malciously, but selfishly. I hope you see this? And, you are putting yourself in a stupid situation.. Why do you need this girl in your life? Because you're emotionally attached to her? You want her? There are so many red flags.. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 My ex got engaged (again) to her long term on/off boyfriend. I cut ties with her as I was still very much in love and couldn't face that. I do know she is a terrible flirt and has left this guy many time during the 7 years they've known each other. I do honestly believe he just puts up with her **** simply due to the fact he's given up, accepted his role in life. I mean, she's stunning and he's, well, below average (I'm being polite) in looks and personality. He too prefers Call of Duty to her sometimes and she prefers toys to him. Yes, all very wierd but for some this is their life. Your engaged lady may be exactly the same. She gets the attention and excitement from others that she doesn't get from her fiance, but will never leave her fiance as he's her rock, she can always trust him to be there and basically the two of them will never seperate. I would never have got involved my my ex if they'd been together at the time I met her, and I definitely would not get with her now she's engaged. But I do know she loves to flirt and get attention from others, mostly down to her own insecurities and background (long story). You need to realise that this situation may very well never go the way you're hoping. If she's been engaged this long then it's likely you're not the first guy she's taken an interest in. Try not to get emotionally involved, although I worry you may already be there. I'm sure you're doing the same things I do - analysing the situation and believing you're better for her and how much you two should be together, well you need to take a step back. This could just be a short term bit of fun she's after... the thing is, is that all you want? Can you accept just being the 'fling'? Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Engaged gives you a reason to cut all ties with this girl. You should not date her, she's unavailable. Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Two types of people - One's you can trust and one's you can't. It's obvious to anyone that she is in the latter category of people. Run - don't walk - away from this situation. PS: No pity for the "my fiancee sucks, that's why I'm cheating." A cheater is a cheater. Barry Bonds cheated because he was literally 10 times better of a ball player than Sosa or McGuire YET they were getting all the attention because of the roids. Any reasonable/kind person can be empathetic to Bonds and say "That's not fair, he's way better but they are cheating - Bonds should cheat too!" But, Bonds is still a cheater, right? Slippery Slope, where does it end? Shouldn't Bonds have gone to Major League Baseball and tried to fix the problem rather than enhancing it. Shouldn't your chick have gone to her fiancee and broken it off or tried to fix it? Not lead you on and make matters worse. Trust me my friend, she is a bad person and not worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
The Great Gazoo Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 and maybe question your own morals a little. Trying to get with someone else's fiance is just bad juju Link to post Share on other sites
thatdog Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I've met a couple of girls lately that do something like this. They are engaged/in LTRs and go out flirting with/ kissing/ etc with other guys regularly. I called one of these girls out on it and she argued that she was doing nothing wrong as she didn't sleep with anyone but her BF and therefore it was all harmless fun. She thought that if she was going to end up marrying her bf then she should be sure that he was the one and to do that she needed to date a bunch of other guys behind his back to make sure she couldn't find anyone better. Yeah this was all said with a straight face and no indication that she thought what she was doing might be immoral or hurtful to her bf of 5 years... Link to post Share on other sites
Scottdmw Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 This situation is going to end in misery for you. Any fun or happiness that you get out of it is going to be overshadowed by 10 times more pain afterwards. I really think the best thing you could do is go to a different bar on Thursday nights and delete this girl's number from your phone. Her actions show she has no morals and will use people without hesitation. If she is unhappy with her fiancé, the clear and easy thing to do is break up. Instead she's trying to have it both ways by using you and probably others. You may very well not be the only guy she is involved with the way she is with you. Seriously, this situation has disaster, heartbreak, and pain written all over it. Get as far away from it as you can! Scott Link to post Share on other sites
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