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Why's it hard for some to explain their perspective or elaborate???


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chelle21689

I've been seeing someone for 3 months and we hit it off really well. We talk every night for an hour or two. Sometimes conversation is easy and sometimes it's not. We're both more so listeners instead of talkers...but I talk more than him because I think I have better conversation skills honestly.

 

I like talking to him but it's frustrating when I ask him what he thinks about something and he has difficulty explaining why he feels a certain way or expressing a point of view. He doesn't know how to elaborate on his feelings which is odd. He actually does a better job at it when we text though. He doesn't know how to blab on a little bit haha....For example, "What do you think about parents hitting children?" He'll have a couple sentences..."Hmm...welll...uh, I think that they should hit kids if they're misbehaving but not in a abusive way..."

 

Most people I know would go on a little bit more about why they feel that way...but he says a lot of "Hmm...", "uh...", "well.." and "I don't know hmm....." and he always apologizes that he sucks at explaining lol.

 

expressing your point of view I honestly think makes conversation 10x more easier because when you elaborate you can kind of pick topics from the sentence that come out.

I dig deep with question sometimes to get an understanding of how he feels but then it kinda feels like an interview.

 

other than that, I like everything else about him and he gives me butterflies :p

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Maybe you're putting him on the spot with some of your questions. Maybe it's not the content of your questions, but how you ask them- if he's not a huge communicator, it could come off as more of an interrogation than a conversation.

 

Men and women operate differently- men communicate much differently than woman do. You have expectations that he's a human being, and therefore should have the same thought process, feelings base, communication style (etc) as you do. Quite simply put- men don't think the way we do, and don't often interact the same way we do...

 

Some of your deeper questions might be throwing him off guard- when all he really wants to talk about is hockey or his golf game.

 

My ex froze up when it came to talking about anything serious- he was fine with the light stuff, and good with humour- but with the deeper stuff- he had no clue how to communicate.

 

Just keep in mind that your communication style is going to be different from his.

 

How often do you guys see one another?

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chelle21689

Haha, hmm...I guess he's the same as your ex. He can talk about cars and trying new things. He's good at asking me questions to start off our conversation. We are good at talking about little every day things and joking around a lot...but not deep stuff which kinda sucks haha. He tries at least, maybe he'll get better? He'll apologize that he isn't good at explaining how he feels and I tell him to take his time to gather his thoughts.

 

We see each other 1-2x a week. This past week we saw each other 4x which was the most I ever seen him. Tomorrow he's leaving for 3 days...in a couple weeks I'll be gone a month! O.O Bright side is, he keeps talking about all the things he wants to do with me when I come back like go to amusement parks, horse back ride, sky dive, etc. We're going sky diving haha...he brings out the adventurous side in me ^_^

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