NTT148 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I have been in a very healthy relationship with a girl for 3 years now, I know her family, she knows mine, both families love us, and we're going into our 4th year of university. The thing is... we're both each other's first serious relationship... I personally haven't had a problem ever really, just once in a while i'll think about "what if" there's someone else out there, but i really don't want to end our relationship because i love her so much! and our relationship has progressed far... at the same time i don't want to stick to this relationship just for convenience sake (i mean we know each other's families very well... we're comfortable with each other, everything's working out so well!!!)... I have talked to her about this once or twice in the past... and she says she wonders once in a while too about 'what if' another person... and we both concluded that as long as we're still attracted to one another there isn't any reason to end it... we lived together in the same apartment in 3rd year university... and it just feels strange waking up sometimes and looking over and thinking... this is who i'll be sleeping next to for the rest of my life... i don't know what to do or how to overcome this, i sort of want to 'look around' before finalizing my decision, but at the same time i don't want to destroy what we have because it's so much already, any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Right now you are experiencing grass is greener syndrome. I have been with my guy for 5 years, he is also my first. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be with someone else, it's normal to wonder. Has the passion died in your relationship? Even though I have had others with interest in me, I never pursued those relationships. I realized that I am happy with my partner now, and that is what matters to me. I sometimes feel this way when my relationship isn't at it's happiness peak. I would never cross those boundaries, I work on communicate and improving what I have. Focus on yourself now. Don't worry about if she is the only woman who will be in your future. Are you happy right now? The key question you have to ask yourself is, If you make the switch, will you be better off then you were before, when you were with your current partner? You can always breakup with your girlfriend and explore your options, but you cannot expect her to wait for you to come back. More then likely you will lose her. Link to post Share on other sites
VicJay79 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 NTTI, When ever i see these messages they really upset me. I would kill to have a 3 year relationship with a girl that is healthy and not abusive or mean. Be happy and greatful that you aren't one of the poor saps on here still trying to find a healthy relationship. I have been in a very healthy relationship with a girl for 3 years now, I know her family, she knows mine, both families love us, and we're going into our 4th year of university. The thing is... we're both each other's first serious relationship... I personally haven't had a problem ever really, just once in a while i'll think about "what if" there's someone else out there, but i really don't want to end our relationship because i love her so much! and our relationship has progressed far... at the same time i don't want to stick to this relationship just for convenience sake (i mean we know each other's families very well... we're comfortable with each other, everything's working out so well!!!)... I have talked to her about this once or twice in the past... and she says she wonders once in a while too about 'what if' another person... and we both concluded that as long as we're still attracted to one another there isn't any reason to end it... we lived together in the same apartment in 3rd year university... and it just feels strange waking up sometimes and looking over and thinking... this is who i'll be sleeping next to for the rest of my life... i don't know what to do or how to overcome this, i sort of want to 'look around' before finalizing my decision, but at the same time i don't want to destroy what we have because it's so much already, any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NTT148 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 Thanks for the suggestions!!!! I think i'll just talk to her again and see how she feels about all of this again..... In the end I don't think its worth breaking up over, because I'm still happy in the relationship and enjoying myself and so is she, its just that rare once in a while 'what if' thought, and i was wondering if there were any ways to figure something out with keeping things as is... but if it leads to the relationship not being the same anymore.... then i would rather not and keep the relationship going, and vicjay thanks for your reply, what you said really does make sense... Link to post Share on other sites
Miss M Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I felt the same way in my previous relationship I was in, "what if?" Then I moved on just to discover that there are a bunch of weirdos out there. You'll have to weed the bad ones out until you find a good one again. If you just want to have fun and don't want to be in a serious relationship then you have the right to do that as well. You have to decide what's right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NTT148 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) Yeah okay, you've all convinced me that this relationship is great, and that i shouldn't even slightly consider leaving it to see what else there is as long as it continues to be great... what triggered this is i had a friend who had a gf and got engaged to her and then they broke up, and when i asked why... he said he couldn't get married to her not knowing FOR SURE that what he had with her was true love... so in HIS case, he would rather know for sure that what he had was true love and risk losing the girl whom may be the only one he will ever have that feeling with... as opposed to not knowing and keeping what they have and only hoping that what they had was true love.... in my case, in the end i don't think i'd risk it.... Edited May 18, 2011 by NTT148 Link to post Share on other sites
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