KR10N Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 (edited) So, I've had the same crush for the past 5 years... almost 6! At first, I thought nothing of it, but now I'm at the point were I just completely hate it! I've read wikiHow on getting over a crush. Apparently, this is the first step! YAY! But, I'm also looking for some help because I've tried this various times before & failed! They'll be completely absent from my mind for months & then BAM! They're back! Thinking of a super hott celebrity doesn't work. Nor does watching porn (which by the way I don't like). I've also tried making a pros & cons list which was also very hard. I had more pros than cons (other than the fact they're 20 years older than me). Physical & personality flaws? I tried, they're too sweet & I'm not at all concerned at how this person looks ('cause in all honesty, they're attractive to me no matter what). Maybe it would be easier if they were a very bad person. So now, what I need is for somebody to give me some advice. Thinking of posting their pic so you guys can help me pick out flaws. 'Cause I suck... meaning I won't say anything about them. Edited May 16, 2011 by KR10N Link to post Share on other sites
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Are you still in contact with your crush? It would help if you would ease down the contact to a minimum. The more you see them, the more your feelings are going to inflate. Posting a picture to list someone's flaws wouldn't be a good idea. It would be putting someone down for nothing, don't do that! Have you considered putting yourself out there and making some connections with new people? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 If there's any contact, end that. Now. As soon as ANY thoughts pop into your head of your crush, push thoughts out of your head. Distract yourself, call a friend, put on the TV, put on music and sing/dance infront of the mirror. DO NOT allow yourself to think, fantasize, dream or lust after the crush. Be pro active in your mind about avoiding thinking of the crush. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Posting a picture to list someone's flaws wouldn't be a good idea. It would be putting someone down for nothing, don't do that! Exactly, and not only that, but it keeps you focussed ON the person you're crushing on. Avoiding and ignoring, keeping busy is the way to go. If you still are having trouble getting over your crush and you feel it's interferring in finding love with someone else, then that's the time to consider counselling to help you work through it and get over it completely. I've had crushes, but they go away.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KR10N Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 (edited) I haven't spoken to or saw this person in a long time. The last time I did see them, I acted a bit rude to them so they'd stop being nice to me & I hated it. Apparently, that didn't work; a friend of mine told me they asked about me & missed me (they said this about someone else as well). I have plenty of friends; I'm not concerned about getting into a relationship right now. I'm considering the NAVY or Coast Guard, surely I'll be way too occupied to think about them. Like I said, I'm ready to just get over this. I'm aware the thought of this person may not be at all how they are in real life, but I have known them for years so I have some idea of how they actually are. I'm young & I understand that I can't torture myself over this person, I always felt it was never for the wrong reasons. And I would never imagine that this would happen. I typically don't get attached to things or people. (I read the picture deal on a website & thought the same thing about putting someone down, how awfull & low) Edited May 17, 2011 by KR10N Link to post Share on other sites
VicJay79 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Kr1on, Your crush is probably just that a CRUSH. I am not sure how much you know about the guy/girl but a lot of it is probably made up in your mind. Thats the best thing about having a crush, they are always perfect. The best way to get over someone is to meet someone new :-). You could just ASK your crush out, and then see if it pans out or not. If it doesn't she isn't that great after all, if it does... WIN! So, I've had the same crush for the past 5 years... almost 6! At first, I thought nothing of it, but now I'm at the point were I just completely hate it! I've read wikiHow on getting over a crush. Apparently, this is the first step! YAY! But, I'm also looking for some help because I've tried this various times before & failed! They'll be completely absent from my mind for months & then BAM! They're back! Thinking of a super hott celebrity doesn't work. Nor does watching porn (which by the way I don't like). I've also tried making a pros & cons list which was also very hard. I had more pros than cons (other than the fact they're 20 years older than me). Physical & personality flaws? I tried, they're too sweet & I'm not at all concerned at how this person looks ('cause in all honesty, they're attractive to me no matter what). Maybe it would be easier if they were a very bad person. So now, what I need is for somebody to give me some advice. Thinking of posting their pic so you guys can help me pick out flaws. 'Cause I suck... meaning I won't say anything about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KR10N Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 Your crush is probably just that a CRUSH. I am not sure how much you know about the guy/girl but a lot of it is probably made up in your mind. Thats the best thing about having a crush, they are always perfect. The best way to get over someone is to meet someone new :-). You could just ASK your crush out, and then see if it pans out or not. If it doesn't she isn't that great after all, if it does... WIN! I know his hobbies (only because they discuss them & they compete in tourneys). I've worked w/ him for 4 years. I've read that the projections of a crush are only how we would expect them to be & not how they actually are. I've seen them at their best & their worst. They were my superior & I spoke to them practically everyday just like friends. I do however, know they are married & I would never do anything to ruin a marriage. Even if there were a possibility of us being together, I don't think I could pursue him (I just don't have the guts to tell someone how I feel). Link to post Share on other sites
Author KR10N Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 I aslo wanted to say thank you to those that are helping. Getting this off my chest makes this easier. Link to post Share on other sites
VicJay79 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I aslo wanted to say thank you to those that are helping. Getting this off my chest makes this easier. Dear Krion, I can understand that. I think the real reason you won't ask him out is because you don't want to go through the heart-break of him saying No. Either way, if you have that big of a crush on him, and you don't plan on making a move on him, i would suggest you keep your distance. These types of crushes aren't healthy. Its clear its consuming you and to be honest the longer you hang out with him, the more you will like him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KR10N Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) Dear Krion, I can understand that. I think the real reason you won't ask him out is because you don't want to go through the heart-break of him saying No. Either way, if you have that big of a crush on him, and you don't plan on making a move on him, i would suggest you keep your distance. These types of crushes aren't healthy. Its clear its consuming you and to be honest the longer you hang out with him, the more you will like him. I haven't seen or spoken to him in about 3 years. I've kept my distance for a long time & I haven't got over him since. I've also made about 10 new friends since then, so it's not like I'm shutting off my social life. It's a bit sickening at times, feeling this way for someone & not being able to get over it. At first I thought my crush was just a crush; then my feelings betrayed me. Edited May 19, 2011 by KR10N Link to post Share on other sites
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