ALonerAgain Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Basing this on my last relationship, I'm starting to believe they can. My ex told me his prevous ex had just 'used him for sex' and had cheated on him which messed with his trust and esteem (I believed him as it took him a few months to 'get it up' for me and the sex was virtually non-existant for the first 3months). Unfortunately after our relationship ended, I got the suspician that he, at the very least, had emotionally cheated on me with one of his female friends that was in his social circle. Although he never gave me a decent reason for breaking up with me, I only 'found out' by going on said girl's FB a few months afterwards. The comments she had posted on there about her and my ex indicates that they hadn't long started going out since we broke up. I never believed he would be someone who would do that, considering what had happened to him before. But knowing that his girlfriend is more his 'type', I can believe why he would end it with me. I guess it hurts to know that perhaps I was just being used as a 'filler' before he found someone 'shinier and prettier'. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Some people when betrayed or mistreated by the opposite sex tend to become and want revenge. It's not right but when trust is betrayed it sometimes hardens a person's heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ALonerAgain Posted April 3, 2011 Author Share Posted April 3, 2011 Some people when betrayed or mistreated by the opposite sex tend to become and want revenge. It's not right but when trust is betrayed it sometimes hardens a person's heart. Woggle, that's an interesting theory. So you think, subconsciously, he was 'acting out' with me? A sort of 'rebound revenge' relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Kelemort Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 He was hurt and betrayed. Maybe in his mind, he reacted defensively by screwing over everybody else before they could put the screws to him. In sorts, I think he acted out his vengeance against her on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 He was hurt and betrayed. Maybe in his mind, he reacted defensively by screwing over everybody else before they could put the screws to him. In sorts, I think he acted out his vengeance against her on you. This is it. Also many men never fully get over their first betrayal by a woman. It affects how they treat women from that point on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ALonerAgain Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 He was hurt and betrayed. Maybe in his mind, he reacted defensively by screwing over everybody else before they could put the screws to him. In sorts, I think he acted out his vengeance against her on you. It makes sense - the 'get out now before he gets screwed over'. Although 4.5 years is a long time to wait before 'getting revenge'. Why would he bother faking a future with me if, on some level, he knew I wasn't what he wanted?? This is it. Also many men never fully get over their first betrayal by a woman. It affects how they treat women from that point on. My ex is the epitomy of Mr. Nice Guy, though (at least on the surface): he's funny, kind, courteous, considerate - but when it comes to emotions, he gets quiet and gets uncomfortable asking for what he wants - at least face-to-face (no such problems getting angry at me via text). It makes me wonder if he's setting up a pattern for himself in going after women who ultimately don't or can't fulfil his needs. I think both his cheating ex and myself ended up not giving him what he wanted...wonder if the new girl will be just the same? Link to post Share on other sites
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