She doesn't like kissing, etc

[Forge]

Hello there!

 

Some of you might remember me from almost two months ago, I made a post in the beginning of February telling you guys about a girl who wantedto go slow with me...

 

Well, some time has passed by and we had our ups and downs together, and I love her. We haven't had sex yet (We are both virgins), and it's nothing that I want to rush, I am ready if she is... But I don't really care about sex at the moment.

 

We've been kissing only a few times, and she's been acting off lately. So I asked her what's wrong and she told me that she doesn't really like kissing at all... And she also told me that she didn't have the urge to meet me that often, though she has nothing against spending time with me.

 

So, I asked her if she wanted to leave me to which she instantly said no. But I am confused, and now we hang out as we did before we took our relationship to the next level (Just like friends in other words), and I don't know what to do. I really do love her, but I also want some physical intimacy.

 

What should I do?

[Amys]

We've been kissing only a few times, and she's been acting off lately. So I asked her what's wrong and she told me that she doesn't really like kissing at all... And she also told me that she didn't have the urge to meet me that often, though she has nothing against spending time with me.

 

This says to me that she isn't attracted to you.

 

I don't know. I could be wrong. She may have some other problem. But in my experience, if I don't want to kiss or be touched or spend my time with a guy, it means I'm not really attracted to him 'that way' (though I may like him as a friend or as a date) and the relationship is on the way out.

 

Since you are both virgins, it might be that she doesn't really know what she likes. I would say that sex is a bad idea if she doesn't like kissing you.

 

If you decide to broach breaking up with her, don't say it's because she didn't sleep with you. It's obvious you care for her and that you're not a douche who just wants to get laid, so don't give her that impression. You should say instead that maybe you like her more than she likes you, or that you need someone more affectionate and willing to be present. If she really is struggling with being attracted to you, she will take it well and maybe even be relieved. If that's not her issue, she will object and you will have to talk out whatever the problem is.

[Eddie Edirol]

She doesnt like you dude, when a woman is into you they want to kiss you, be close to your face, the whole nine. She DOES NOT like you at all. She is also telling you she wants to see you less often? Doesnt have the urge? This is a lost cause dude, you wont be able to get her to like you. Matter of fact, she probably never did. She probably used you to avoid bieng alone. Stop calling her and cut her off now, youre waaay too emotionally involved with a woman who could care less about you.

 

BTW, she friendzoned you, you wont get kisses from her ever again.

[Duckduckgoose]

Hmm... if all the friendzone stuff doesn't apply here and you know for a fact she IS attracted to you then check your breath man.

 

Check your teeth, your breath, and your kissing skills.

 

Just trying to give a different perspective. I personally think... from your post that she isn't that attracted to you. Sorry. I am also sorry that she is stringing you along like she is. You deserve a girlfriend that can't keep her lips off you... one that WANTS the intimacy that you want.

[Forge]

I just don't get why she isn't honest and tells me that she isn't attracted to me, we've known each other for a long time and I know a lot of things about her that most people don't know.

 

She has also told me that she is feeling depressed, but she doesn't let anyone help her, not even me.

[Feelin Frisky]

..

What should I do?

 

Try Scope.

 

I'm not kidding. Maybe you're breath doesn't register well with her and she's uncomfortable saying so. Get a tongue scraper too and rake the back of your tongue clean good. Use some peroxide and water and then some Scope. Then go shove your tongue down her throat and see if she instantly changes. Ya never know. Everyone wants to kiss--they just don't want to kiss everyone.

 

ETA: I see duckduckgoose beat me to the suggestion.

[Eddie Edirol]

I just don't get why she isn't honest and tells me that she isn't attracted to me, we've known each other for a long time and I know a lot of things about her that most people don't know.

 

She has also told me that she is feeling depressed, but she doesn't let anyone help her, not even me.

 

No one will be honest with you when it comes to these things. You just have to be more observant. Plus she might have an agenda. She might be using you to boost her self esteem, she knows someone wants her. She wont tell you anything that will make you stop giving her attention. Just because you know alot about someone doesnt mean she likes you like that.

[reservoirdog1]

Forge, when a woman is attracted to you, usually she'll have difficulty keeping her hands off you. Obviously if she's a virgin and intent on preserving that she won't have sex with you, but she'll want to do a lot of other things. Like making out a lot.

 

This woman, for whatever reason, isn't attracted to you. Which isn't necessarily anybody's fault; attraction is either there, or it isn't.

 

If you like her, keep her as a friend, but I think youd be wasting your time trying to steer this into something more closely resembling a relationship.

[waynebrady]

Women generally speaking do not like kissing or any sort of physical intimacy.

[Feelin Frisky]

Women generally speaking do not like kissing or any sort of physical intimacy.

 

Are you really a nun bucking for Mother Superior?

[interfuse]

Women generally speaking do not like kissing or any sort of physical intimacy.

 

That is NOT true... BS...

[Eddie Edirol]

Women generally speaking do not like kissing or any sort of physical intimacy.

 

Haha, thats right, they show you they like you by turning away when you get close to their faces, and telling you straight up that they dont like intimate encounters. They are cold lovers who dont like to be touched at all. Thats how you know they are really into you. Thank you Wayne Brady. hahah

[waynebrady]

That is NOT true... BS...

 

If women liked kissing and physical intimacy then they would initiate it. And they don't. Ever.

[EyesWideOpen]

Women generally speaking do not like kissing or any sort of physical intimacy.

 

Dude...you need to amp up your hygiene or get with a chick who's actually attracted to you then, because that is 100% false.

 

 

 

Prior to my current BF, I had not met a single guy that I actually enjoyed kissing. It was just weird, and basically gross (which very well could have to do with the hygiene issue).

Like many women who haven't been in contact with someone she actually has chemistry with, I shrugged it off to "oh I just don't like kissing".

 

That all went out the window when I met my BF. From kiss one it was fantastic, and left me craving for more. A good kiss is like crack.

 

 

Provided your hygiene is acceptable...if she is attracted to you, yes...she will be all over kissing you. Perhaps not initiating it, but it won't take much on your part to get her to reciprocate.

Edited March 30, 2011 by EyesWideOpen

[waynebrady]

Dude...you need to amp up your hygiene or get with a chick who's actually attracted to you then, because that is 100% false.

 

 

 

Prior to my current BF, I had not met a single guy that I actually enjoyed kissing. It was just weird, and basically gross (which very well could have to do with the hygiene issue).

Like many women who haven't been in contact with someone she actually has chemistry with, I shrugged it off to "oh I just don't like kissing".

 

That all went out the window when I met my BF. From kiss one it was fantastic, and left me craving for more. A good kiss is like crack.

 

 

Provided your hygiene is acceptable...if she is attracted to you, yes...she will be all over kissing you. Perhaps not initiating it, but it won't take much on your part to get her to reciprocate.

 

My hygiene is excellent, I shower 2 times a day atleast, more often than not I also take an afternoon "half" shower.

 

If I was to be with a girl I would also make sure I used those anti-badbreath spray thingys and deoderant.

 

I have never kissed a girl so I don't speak from my own experience.

 

The reason I believe women do not like kissing is because they never initiate it. It's always the man who must initiate the kiss no matter how long they have been togheter.

 

If women liked kissing they would initiate it.

[Forge]

Well, I am not going to cut her off, we've known each other for a long time and she means a lot to me. I can accept if she isn't attracted to me, my hygiene is fine, I even take an extra shower and brush my teeth before meeting her if possible.

 

What hurts me is that she confessed what she felt about me in the beginning of February, and from your answers it seems that her confession was a lie. That really hurts me a lot, since I've had a thing for this girl for quite a while.

Edited March 30, 2011 by Forge

[EyesWideOpen]

The reason I believe women do not like kissing is because they never initiate it.

It's always the man who must initiate the kiss no matter how long they have been togheter.

If women liked kissing they would initiate it.

 

I'm not quite sure what reality you're living in...but you're making some really off base claims here.

 

1) Women tend to not initiate kissing because (as a generalization) most women still prefer the man to make the first move. Blame whatever you want for this - culture, general gender differences, whatever - but it has absolutely NOTHING to do with liking/disliking the act of kissing.

 

Even so, this tends to be an early on problem...not something you see in an established relationship. (which conveniently leads on into part 2...)

 

2) Never - no matter how long they have been together? I'm going to call this out as straight up bullsh*t. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that you've got it quite backwards. The longer and more established the relationship is, the more comfortable a woman is expressing physical affection.

 

 

Case and Point - I kiss my boyfriend all the time. I initiate it probably a good third of the time. Was it always like this? Nope. I was raised under the same good-girl BS as most other girls, and thus was shy to begin with. After time, though, I felt absolutely no inhibitions from random make-out attacks.

 

And I'm pretty certain I must know and talk to a crap ton more girls than you do because I could name off a dozen girls just from my close friends alone who feel (and act) exactly as I do about kissing.

 

 

I have never kissed a girl so I don't speak from my own experience.

 

Well at least this clarifies things - you just have no idea what you're talking about.

Maybe you should stick to topics you have at least SOME understanding of before throwing out random, completely wrong assumptions.

[waynebrady]

Case and Point - I kiss my boyfriend all the time. I initiate it probably a good third of the time. Was it always like this? Nope. I was raised under the same good-girl BS as most other girls, and thus was shy to begin with. After time, though, I felt absolutely no inhibitions from random make-out attacks.

 

Ok, but that only proves that while you might not dislike kissing. Your boyfriend most defenitley likes it ALOT more than you do because he initiates it more.

[EyesWideOpen]

Ok, but that only proves that while you might not dislike kissing. Your boyfriend most defenitley likes it ALOT more than you do because he initiates it more.

 

Or it just proves that men are hard-wired differently than women, and that women tend to have a lower sex drive.

(which is a physical, hormonal thing...not a like/dislike)

 

 

Same concept as how the big "O" is more automatic for a guy. Our junk is different. Or hormones are different.

This difference does not in any way imply less or more liking.

 

 

You really do need some basic sex ed. Surely you could google some of this stuff before answering, so that you're at least somewhat educated/informed.