Did I Over React?

[freedy]

Hi

 

I'll try and keep this brief. I've been with my b/f for around 18 months, we don't live together as he is admitted he is afraid of committing. However, during this time he's been through a divorce and lost his father, so I have understood this has been a difficult time.

 

During the last part of 2010 we had a very difficult time, his Dad has died and he was depressed. He was having trouble managing work, family and me. So in January I suggested we just see each other at weekends so he has more time to himself. This worked well for him, however I have found it difficult and quite lonely because he doesn't call or even text me when we're not together and it can seems like I'm out of sight and out of mind.

 

During these 3 months I have gone to his place almost every weekend, in fact he came to me twice. I've been helping him out around the house with laundry and cooking, but I have been getting the underlying feeling that I'm not getting much back and he's starting to take me for granted.

 

Two weeks ago we had a week off work together and it went well. We enjoyed each other's company but he said that he's not really been looking after himself during the week when we're not together (not eating or sleeping well). I know that his work is very stressful, so I asked if he would like to come to me after work and stay at my place. He agreed, thinking it was a good idea.

 

However, two nights in a row straight after this agreement he stood me up. This was done by just not turning up. I had to call him to be told I'm too tired. The first time I could forgive, but the second night he just sent me a text saying "I'm tired" and when I tried to speak to him on the phone he hung up and then sent me an angry text saying "I might call you tomorrow".

 

I was furious and drove over to see him to tell he can't treat me this way. I feel I'm taken for granted and its just not acceptable to stand me up twice. Both times I had prepared a meal for him, and he knew that. His answer was "I don't want a relationship anyway". I can understand that he was protecting himself with this comment, but really was I so wrong to challenge him on this? After this answer, I told him I just can't be bothered with him anymore. All I was doing was trying to help and he had agreed it.

 

I should point out this isn't the first time it happened. Before Christmas it was happening at least once a week.

 

I haven't communicated with him again since this happened (Thursday). All I needed was a phone call to explain what had happened earlier in the evening, but he won't apologise. Does stress mean its OK to just have no manners?

[New Again]

Driving over to his house after he ignored you, then hung up on you, is over the top.

 

Good call on not talking to him anymore. I recommend you continue to have nothing to do with him.