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Txt to me Ex...What u think?


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Hi all,

 

I've drafted a msg to my ex and just wanted some opinions on it. But first just some quick history to put into context:

 

Started a long distance semi thing about 6 years ago. She was my first gf and I her first bf. Went on for about 3 years. I was there for her through a lot of times and had to put up a lot of **** from her, but I loved her. I promised I'd always be there for her.

 

After 3 years she just stopped talking to me. Met her 6 months later at my Bday party and she cried and said she wanted me but nothing happened from that since we were still in different cities. She called me a month after that telling me to leave her alone and that she was seeing someone. That pissed me off so I said please don't contact me again.

 

A year later I moved to the city she was in for study and I tried contacting her. No reply. She made her sister (who was a good friend of mine) stop talking me. I sent her a letter just to try and get closure for myself. Kind of did, but clearly not in the long run.

 

Six months later later I went back home. 3 months after that she msged saying "Can you pick me". She was going through some family stuff I think. I said I wasn't around anymore. I said I'd call her but then she replied saying "Don't Call". And that was that.

 

She seemed to be just brushing everything we had under the rug and pretending like it never happened. I never got closure. Another year later today and I'm back in her city for study again and here's what I want to say now:

 

"Hi. Look, I'm around again. So my promise of always bein there stands. <Her name> just meet me once. No big deal. If you want nothing to do with me ever again, at least to close everything off. Stop pretending like nothing ever happened. Take a chance. Just think about it. I'll be here."

 

I honestly feel like we never gave us a proper shot and there's just so much history that it would be a shame to not give it a shot. I never did anything to screw her over, she's just created distance between the whole thing so she didn't have to deal with the emotional stress of a long distance r/l (i think). To be honest I'm 95% sure she'll just ignore it and I won't get a reply or she'll say "piss off" but i still have this HUGE urge to send it.

 

Sorry for the length of it. Hopefully some of you will take the time to read it. Thanks so much in advance!

Edited by snaps
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If you feel that sure she won't reply, then why send it. You're just setting yourself up for some pain.

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I guess for the sake of taking a chance myself and putting myself out there one last time. I'm not broken about it. I can handle her not replying. I mean it would hurt, but I'm pretty used to it.

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complicationsinlove

Its been a long time, and you obviously love this girl and can't let her go. I say try one more time, but prepare yourself for any pain that might come from it. If its meant to be, it is going to be. If she does not respond, or says something mean, let it go and move on. I wish you so much luck. I know what your going through.

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Call her if you want to speak to her. You have to meet face to face and talk if you are going to develop anything with each other. Texts, emails, facebook, letters, smoke signals, are all not the real thing.

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The problem i have with calling is:

 

1) She won't answer

2) She'll simply cut the call

 

before I get a chance to tell her I'm back in town. Right now in her mind I'm still back home far away from her. If I follow up a call with a text its gonna make me look way too desperate to contact her.

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You don't know any of that for sure.

 

You certainly don't know what's going on in her mind unless you are in fact, her. You may be worried she'll not answer or cut the call short, but that's your worry: it belongs to you.

 

You have good reasons to be worried. I don't know what they are, and you may not even be fully aware of them yourself, but their existence is something you're better honouring, paying attention to, than skirting around the issue of actually talking to a real person instead of planning a written message to the impression you have of that person in your head.

 

Trust me - I've been through all that projection crap and it gets you nowhere. Own it. Face your fears. Take control of your own life.

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hmm. thanks heaps for the advice all. betterdeal u definitely have a point about calling. and i think i'll give it a go. maybe tonight.

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