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In hindsight, chased the wrong girl last summer. Now having a little regret


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Old 7th March 2011, 6:21 AM   #1
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In hindsight, chased the wrong girl last summer. Now having a little regret

I live with the belief that everything happens for a reason. In that sense, I would not go back and change a thing if I could.

On the other hand, there is a small part of me that can't help but wonder, and play an imaginary revisionist... what if I chased Girl B instead of Girl A?

Let's call Girl B GB for short. Girl A = GA.

I was very good friends with both last summer, they didn't know each other, but I always talked to GB about GA. She knew everything about GA and all my failed attempts. I had a mild crush on GB that would probably have been more than mild if GA wasn't in the picture.

Anyway, things didn't work out. GA and I don't really talk anymore. GB found a boyfriend around the time GA and I didn't work out.

Since, GB and I have lost our "best friend" type relationship. She's definitely pulled back.

However, this past week we met up 1 on 1 for the first time in 5 months. It brought back a lot of memories and I really realized how much I enjoy her company and how similar we are, moreso than GA and I ever were. It's corny but it reminds me of the Taylor Swift song "You Belong to Me"


You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me


Not that I can confirm GB ever liked me but examining the signs, she definitely enjoyed my company. She initiated 1 on 1 hangouts. We went out to dinner 1 on 1 several times. We chatted online a lot. Texted a lot. Then I brought up GA to her, and I guess at that point we became moreso friends than "friends with potential."

Anyway, I dunno. Just wanted to share. And see if anyone has gone through similar experiences? It sucks that she has a boyfriend now, and I certainly don't want to be a homewrecker. I plan to lay low for a while... it was nice re-connecting with her in person this past week, but I should lay low and let her initiate the next conversation/hang-out. I don't want to come across desperate and I know she'll come to me when she wants to. Until they break up, there's nothing I can do.

Dang... I realized I should have pursued her instead of GA. She and I are definitely more compatible. But again, I know and believe everything happens for a reason.

Maybe "the one" ends up being her after all, maybe it's not. More likely that it's not. Gotta press on! Gosh, why do I have to be so melodramatic? LOL

Last edited by Teknoe; 7th March 2011 at 6:27 AM..
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Old 7th March 2011, 10:45 AM   #2
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Yeah, been exactly there and kinda' in a similar spot now. I have my own GA that I fell for and a GB that knows all about it and has become a good friend. As GA is pretty much over, I would love to get to know GB more, but wouldn't want to risk the friendship we've built up, so probably won't do anything about it - but that said, occasionally she shows signs that maybe she is interested and is waiting for me to move it along (she's very shy and sweet so can't imagine her making any first moves), so I wouldn't want that boat to sail by not doing anything. Plus, there's the fact I still have feelings for GA even though that's finished.

It's a tough call...
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Old 7th March 2011, 4:23 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smudge21 View Post
Yeah, been exactly there and kinda' in a similar spot now. I have my own GA that I fell for and a GB that knows all about it and has become a good friend. As GA is pretty much over, I would love to get to know GB more, but wouldn't want to risk the friendship we've built up, so probably won't do anything about it - but that said, occasionally she shows signs that maybe she is interested and is waiting for me to move it along (she's very shy and sweet so can't imagine her making any first moves), so I wouldn't want that boat to sail by not doing anything. Plus, there's the fact I still have feelings for GA even though that's finished.

It's a tough call...

smudge, our situations are slightly different.

1. Your GB is single (I presume from your post)
2. You still have feelings for GA.

For me:

1. My GB is taken
2. I no longer have feelings for GA

The similarities we share are:

1. We both tell GB everything about GA
2. We're both at least mildly interested in GB
3. We tried with GA and it didn't work out

For me, I gotta lay low. GB has a BF and I don't wanna be a homewrecker. Plus I know the feeling of some other guy barging in... it really hurts when your GF is talking to guys on the side in a way that is not appropriate when she is already involved in an exclusive relationship.

Anyway, here's my final take away point to you. DON'T purse GB, smudge. Because you admit you still have feelings for GA, don't mess with GB's heart until YOU GET RIGHT. No girl deserves to be in 2nd place.

Until you can give GB all you got without thinking about another girl, don't even go there. Keep up the friendship, but don't pursue a romantic relationship with GB.

As for me, I decided to move on as best as I can. I made my decisions in the summer time, GB made hers (with her BF). There's no turning back the hands of time. We just gotta press on and remember next time, who really is there for us and who really maybe isn't.
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Old 8th March 2011, 8:56 AM   #4
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Yeah you're right - I really don't want to lose the friendship and so won't take it any further with GB. Wouldn't fair on either of us whilst GA is still strongly in my heart.

I also faced this previously as well (it does seem that when I fall for someone, there's another girl that I'll confide in when things go wrong) and that GB was with someone. We became good friends and stayed that way long after everything had happened. It was a friendship that grew from something really bad and ended up being the best thing to come from it all.
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