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I like her a lot.... unfortunately so does her best friend.


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Old 6th March 2011, 7:35 PM   #1
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Unhappy I like her a lot.... unfortunately so does her best friend.

Hello everyone, I would like your advice.... I apologize for the length, but want to make sure you have as much info as possible....



I met this girl on an online dating site a little over a month ago - we're both young, successful, busy professionals and we seemed to hit it off great. We have yet to hang out because of the jacked-up schedule she admittedly has, but the romantic interest is definitely there, also as stated. (Note: She lives no more than an hour away).

We talk every day, sometimes a few times a day at length. Things are good... then a couple weekends ago, she get this journal that had been in a time capsule for over ten years. In this journal - addressed to her - is a spill-all from her best-guy friend from birth. He confesses a lot, some of his personal struggles through school and - you guessed it - his secret love for her. Talk about a cheap shot to the gut....

Anyway, She told me about it the same day and though we aren't dating, she cared for and respected me enough to let me know this information which is super-cool of her. I asked her what she wanted me to do and she wasn't sure about anything seeing as it was a lot to process (understandably so). We continued to talk, up until Thursday of this past week when she was stopped by this friend in the hallway of her home. He slammed it on her again that he really wanted to talk to her about this and to wait any longer would be "emotionally unbearable" for him. he wants to date her - I asked if she wanted the same and her response was that she hasn't really looked at him like that, he's always just been her best friend. This put her into a spiral of what-to-do, what-to-do since she loves him to death as a friend, and doesn't want to lose that BUT she (and quote) "really freaking likes me" (she is crying on the phone at this point) and it really pained her to ask for some time to figure this out.

I said that although it sucked to have to give her some space (but not be ruled out of the race), I understood and respected her enough to honor that request. She further stated that she doesn't want me to be angry and disappear.

We didn't talk the rest of the night - although I did send a friendly "have a good day at work, hope you are feeling better" text the next morning. I later got one back asking how I slept and she also slept like crap, she missed out nightly talk before bed, etc. Later that night, I got a phone call, and she was obviously sad. She said that she had driven all the way down here to see me, but was such a train wreck that she didn't want me to see her like that. She ate in the city, and left but said that she just wanted to see my face... just be around me and talk. She thought I would be mad at her not even letting me know she was here, but instead, I let her know I wasn't and was so happy that she called and that she made the trip, despite the lack of a visit per se. She said she was so torn and needs to talk to her guy friend about this journal issue, as they haven't had time to address it. She said she loved me for being so understanding and patient with this damn aful mess.... We ended the convo on a good note and left it at that.

I get a phone call at 530am (now saturday) from her as she couldn't sleep. We talked for a few hours, about randomness, and she was going to try and go back to bed. She called me back around noon just to thank me for talking to her, it helped her relax and go back to sleep. I heard from her a couple times throughout the day, briefly, because she had some quiet time and wanted to talk to me. She talked about the journal with him last night - lasted an hour or so - and she called me back after still trying to process the matter... but she just wanted to talk to me and just talk. I made her feel better and we have talked a couple times today.

Now, guy-friend has obviously stepped up his game and is quietly competing against any attention I get from her on facebook. Not to mention, he's currently her roomie due to a housing situation a few weeks ago. He's even put up a pic of he and her from a trip a couple years ago on FB. I haven't heard a disposition about who's the lead dog in this race (so to speak) but I just want to know from all of you....

DO I HAVE A SHOT AT THIS?
WHAT CAN I DO TO NOT SCREW IT UP?
ANY OTHER ADVICE/ PERSONAL OUTLOOKS?

Thanks for your advice.
OhioGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th March 2011, 7:51 PM   #2
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This situation is absolutely ridiculous. You haven't even met, and yet all this drama is unfolding before your eyes. Why are you so intent on believing this bs anyway? She's an emotional train wreck. He's her room mate? Assuming this is true, you don't have a chance, and even though you believe that's unfortunate, it's in your best interest. Nothing good can come from such a whacked set of circumstances.

Move on.
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Old 6th March 2011, 8:36 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Datura View Post
This situation is absolutely ridiculous. You haven't even met, and yet all this drama is unfolding before your eyes. Why are you so intent on believing this bs anyway? She's an emotional train wreck. He's her room mate? Assuming this is true, you don't have a chance, and even though you believe that's unfortunate, it's in your best interest. Nothing good can come from such a whacked set of circumstances.

Move on.
Agree. Later for that drama.
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Old 6th March 2011, 8:46 PM   #4
Cee
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No contact and tell her it's not appropriate for you to talk b/c of the romantic feelings. She needs to choose.

You have become her "girlfriend" to process her feelings. Get out of that role immediately. She's calling you to talk about the other guy. Tacky.

But remember you haven't met her. This is not something you should put much faith in. And start dating other people.
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