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how do u deal with being eternally alone


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Old 21st January 2011, 8:24 AM   #1
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how do u deal with being eternally alone

Ive been alone pretty much all my life and im 32. I thikn when I was 22 it was really starting to get to me. I couldnt deal with it--I also had few to no friends and as college ended most of my friends left, and then I was totally alone. On top of that-- then my life went to hell and terrible things began happening to me and I went through extreme phases of suffering and loneliness...people I know doing bad things to me and my life, total loneliness etc. In all those years--I never had a boyfriend, relationship, though I desperately searched---online, anywhere. Oddly, after 12 years---not a single boyfriend, no sex, nothing normal and only horror...im still searching and cant meet anyone. Desperate isnt even what u call someone like me. I dont just sit around hoping for someone to drop by. Ive met 100's of guys off the internet....im a really beautiful girl...you'd think "some" guy on this planet would want to date me, me get lucky and meet a guy--something somewhere....but so oddly it never happened. It happens for every other human but me. Also you think, beautiful girl--guys would be chasing her--not the case. I mostly get abused by guys..and men....and most guys dont hang around longer than like 3-4 days and bail and never talk to me again cuz they either want sex or who knwos what. First off, i jsut want to know how the hell meeting people just 'happens' for every other human but not for really pretty women like me....who are abused tormented harassed made fun of etc....by people....basically for being pretty ive only been abused by people and not much else and everyone is jealous of me and hates my guts....but even women who have 'jealosu others' can still manage to get a boyfriend right...of course every other woman just not me. The irony is that no matter what i cant meet a guy for the life of me yet im beautiful and theres nothing i can do about it b/c its my awful fate apparently. I put myself out there everyday-- i meet guys online, but for the most part every guy either wants a quick lay, or never talks to me again, or insults/dominates/degradse me in some form then bails.

I even met a cop recently....he started talking about how maybe we 'both met each other for a reason' then said "well even if we never talk to each other again." We were texting each other for a few days, and he was being really mean and rude--then of course he bailed. He even said "lol u probably hate me by now." ie most guys try to sabotage their own fate with me and just treat me like dirt then bail---why...not that I really liked him but you'd think guys would respect women but in my case they don't. They respect other women though just not me cuz im 'beautiful' so they feel they can disrespect me. Plus im cursed since it doesnt happen to other women like this. So the question is--loneliness plus suffering and hell after 12 years has taken its toll...ive suffered been put through major hell...tons of things...been alone through it all no guys---sexually tormented....i cant even get a guy to have a fun intimate encoutner with--ive tried its all a nightmare...literally..i cant hang out with a guy..fool around and have fun...ive tried...guys will insult me..say "oh this feels awkward" one guy refused to touch my breasts--then bailed...other guys, one came over then tried bailing....after saying "you have power over men"...ok yeah im meeting the wrong guys but seriously...how many 'wrong guys' are out there....all guys do is reject me insult me and bail...many guys will not do normal things with me...they dotn treat me the way they treat other girls and just insult or put me down...guys even reject me make fun of me, wont do normal things to me. One common thing they say is "i dont know what to do...youre just not like other women"...huh??? ok so again because im really beautiful..no one can touch me or knows what to do though im sitting there tellign teh guy--hey...can u please touch me or do something?? honestly..in all my life...maybe i imagined guys not talking to me, but being in a setting with a guy...sexually...men rejecting you...while u are a hot gorgeous woman sitting there saying "hey touch me"...what??? how is this possible...why is this happening? why do men just insult and reject me but they will treat any other woman like a queen...even sexually, yet not a beautiful girl...? this is a very bizarre reality....i met a guy once--he told me on the phone that he had met fat weird women and pampered and wined and dined them...he met me and immediately--'bailed' and left and freaked out...i called him like wtf are u doing? he said "uh, well i just dont think there was a connection"...then i almost had to force him to come back and he painstakingly bought me dinner..then after of course--never talked to me again...why...im sorry but intimidation just doesnt cut it--why are men pampering fat women, women whoever, yet rejecting running away from and abusing beautiful nice women?? this is the only reality ive experienced...men kissing up to every other woman while treating me, a beautiful model or wannabe model as if im a freak or weirdo..rejecting me insulting harassing me then leaving... My ex boyfriend not a bf refused sex with me ever...he never had sex with me and just degraded rejected and mocked me yet took pictures of me and jerked off to my pictures and raved that i was the hottest girl he had ever seen....and he was so in love with me....wow...i havent gotten over that horror....in a society where every male is begging for sex to meet a sociopath who sexually deprived you... a hot woman...and never had sex with you and just humiliated and rejected u for fun....its crazy and sick but its all i encounter...its not only unfair but its so cruel and sick...
ive had him and other ppl say "youre TOO beautiful" so basically b/c im too beautiful ive gotten treated like a leper or worse and men reject absue degrade and sexually torment me..or try to use me in cruel ways and that's it...literally...thats all ive gotten. At first...it was hell and bad but i survived this bizarre sick weird reality that makes no sense...but after many years...sexual frustration and horror...no sex being a virgin meeting guy after guy who uses and puts me down, and a sadistic ex who still mocks me adn wont have sex with me....its starting to really get to me in major ways...while i witness every other human meet anyone they can or want...and me sit back getting insulted and disrespected by men who kiss up to 60 year old women while giving me dirty looks and treating me so badly...

what ive experienced is that being a beautiful woman ive suffered in extreme ways cant get normal fun sex, men just torment reject and degrade me run away make fun of me and women despise me and of course would never be friends with me and just ignore me talk bad about me etc....so im kind of ****ed in life-- i cant make friends, cant get a boyfriend but im super beautiful and 98% of people abuse me and treat me so badly and feel its their right to...any other woman is given respsect by people or men, but me...i get abused to no end in extreme ways....the dating part hurts the most....and i cant deal with being alone but its my fate and i cant change it no matter how hard i try-- i only meet the "WRONG" guys....even guys who i think are cute, or would be good for me-- they are the first to reject me....even on dating sites---anyone who i have a connection with, just rejects me and then bails....other guys, who i have nothign with try to get laid, then just bail. Others try to use and degrade and abuse me then bail....and the rest feel they are entitled to geting sex off me and if i dont give it to them then im a user and evil and they bail....no guy acts liek "wow you are an amazing beautiful nice awesome girl...let's try to date." not a single guy in so many males out there....if anything a guy will meet me, insult me...or hang out with me, then say something bad about me or do anything just to do something very abusive to me....one guy i met once i asked him...what do u think of the date/me..he said "i think youre amazing and caring and would make a wonderful wife and teh guy that gets u will be lucky"...then he never talked to me again....wtf?? i dont really get how amazing beautiful women can be eternally single...and worse...how can any human deal with being alone all their life...while searching, suffering and hearing about how every other human can meet any person on this planet...have a relationship yet u can't....the loneliness is unbearable horror...along with the extreme prior suffering and current...so its loneliness plus trauma plus sexual frustruation and horror....and being a virgin with men only trying to use u and bail or mock you.....how do people deal with being abnormally alone....in a society with such narcissistic weird people....cant meet anyone and jsut alone and more alone...while others are having the time of their life...and living normal lives but u cant meet anyone....

Last edited by shawna92; 21st January 2011 at 8:43 AM..
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Old 21st January 2011, 8:57 AM   #2
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Few questions:

1. What kind of things do you do in your free time? DO you got out and go to events and mingle or just stay home on the internet?

2. pics?

3. Have you considered therepy to discuss these feelings with a professional? and have you considered that it might not be the guys, it might be you? Every guy wants sex, if they can get it on day 1, they will typically... this shouldnt dissuade you from being interested though because its natural. I wanted to sleep with my gf the minute I met her, she held out on me a month though!

4. What kind of job do you have?

5. How many girlfriends do you have?

6. Are you picky? overly picky?

7. What did you mean by guys abuse you? Can you walk us through an example?
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Old 21st January 2011, 9:28 AM   #3
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well u see....u said u wanted sex with her, but she held out a month right? at least....you waited...many guys do wait...if they like the girl--with me-- guys dont wait...they hang around a few days...hoping to get sex off me and if they don't...they're out the door. It's as if i dont havet he same rights other women do....a lot of guys want sex off girls and try to get it---but I would think that a girl can manage to meet 'some' guys who would want a relationship. How can it be me if the guys...automatically meet me and run away? I'm a 'model" not a real model but oen of those girls who takes pictures...and tried to be one. Why are guys running away from a very beautiful girl? Dotn get me wrong some guys meet me or many have and say "youre very beautiful"...or wow...or whatever...but even those guys...end up treating me badly- such as recently, the cop and other people. Im friendly and nice and have to be overly friendly as I notice the men are intimidated and seem to jsut want to put me down...when I notice the guy is uncomfortable.. i do all the talking...im outgoing, humorous...I try to make them feel comfortable..not the other way around b/c ive had guys bail on me before so...im scared of it. Guys meet me and are so scared intimidated or who knows what they're thinking....I go out of my way to be friendly...so its not me obviously. My ex used to say that I was his fantasy girl and basically he treated me that way--someone he used for his sick twisted sadistic fantasies...but he had me dress up in lingerie, high heels, but would only degrade me and sexually reject me...but it made no sense as how can you be a male and sexually reject a beautiful woman...one who u claim you fantasize abotu...how is this happening to me and worse cuz im a virgin...and have never had a boyfriend...I called him my ex b/c he was 'lke a boyfriend' but wasnt just a a sadist tormenting me for fun long distance mostly, he only saw me every few weeks....One guy said to me 'well when a guy meets a girl like you his mind goes blank"...I talked to a few therapists who were awful in the past but want to try to get to a therapist now--i cant find a good oen and had bad ones who were equally bad to me. My pt is that....this problem seems to be because im 'attractive' and ppl are intimidated by me...if men think im beautiful-- tehy just try to get laid--the others just run away ...out of fear....even guys i meet in real life....once i went to NY with my sister and she wanted me to meet her guy friend....he said to her "i cant wait to meet your sister...im going to talk to her abut this n that"...i laughed at her and said--yeah right i bet he'll meet me and freak out and wont say a word to me...of course when he met me he and all her friends freaked out...one girl even went to the kitchen and was terrified...the guy never talked to me....everyone treated me like sh*t...it was a bad time.. we even went to this one restaurant in the end--some of her friends were fake being nice to me...when she went to the bathroom.. i tried talking to them...they looked at me as if...you think we'd talk to you?? they were so rude..and just ignored me....when i went to a restaurant with her other friends....someone asked the guys--why did u come to NY...and one joked and looked at me and said "because of her"...ie he didnt say anything to me the whole night--he was implying..cuz shes so hot...we came to see her...ie....ive experienced this many years---extremely bad treatment....for being pretty....honestly...im not the hottest girl and i dont know why the hell this happens to me...its crazy but its what happes...it just makes no sense...when my sisters female friend met me...she ran to my sister later and said "omg..shes SO GORGEOUS..she reminds me of this one actress"....her friend also kind of treated me rudely...but im used to it....her other two male friends we met downtown totally ignored me and treated me like sh8t.... my reality is such that....how can u be single...so apparently 'gorgeous' have gone out fo your way to meet guys adn cant get a single effing 'date' i mean...relationship out of it...how is this possible....yes im sure there are communication insecurity issues....but realistically...why does it happen for others...so easily yet not for me...its like a bad nightmare....and u or other guys--still respected your gf's...you held out...u waited u hung out...guys dont respect me--they meet me and act as if---if they dont get laid on the 2nd date---they are out the door....but im sure they dont treat every other girl this way.....

Last edited by shawna92; 21st January 2011 at 9:38 AM..
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Old 21st January 2011, 10:06 AM   #4
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You didnt answer any of my questions really...

my advice is this:

Get off the internet, like ASAP! Go join some ballroom dancing classes or Yoga or Zumba classes and make friends with the people there and start meeting REAL people.

The internet often attracts guys looking for a bootycall.

Again, can we see a picture?
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Old 21st January 2011, 1:52 PM   #5
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If you have feelings of lonliness try going to a church or some kind of club.

I know that religion helps a lot of people cope with feelings of lonliness and sadness. Your God will always be there for you, even if you feel like people won't be.

Billy Boy... why do you want to see pics? Do you suspect troll or do you want to check her out? I am a bit confused about that one.
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Old 21st January 2011, 1:53 PM   #6
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OP, please get some therapy. You need to talk to a professional about all this.
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Old 21st January 2011, 1:54 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duckduckgoose View Post
If you have feelings of lonliness try going to a church or some kind of club.

I know that religion helps a lot of people cope with feelings of lonliness and sadness. Your God will always be there for you, even if you feel like people won't be.

Billy Boy... why do you want to see pics? Do you suspect troll or do you want to check her out? I am a bit confused about that one.
She posted a few threads like this, I want to see if the reality matches what shes saying.
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Old 21st January 2011, 9:41 PM   #8
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ive tried groups---i cant go to church cuz im a different religion but ive tried a lot fo things....i have horror stories of only mistreatment...it doesnt matter where i go i only meet the wrong people in the city i live in ....most people hate me and will screw me over...in one way or another--i have years of experience....nothign will change this.. I did go to a women's church group that eventually kicked me out for being 'late'..and they were supposedly 'good friends of mine' who humiliated me...for no reason and maybe cuz i woudlnt convert...but i got treated very badly and then banned from all the groups for no reason...and i have many other awful stories....that doesnt mean that i cant go to other groups and meet nice people--im sure you can....but the fear of prior experiences hinders me....regardless...i almost 'always' get treated the same way...disrespect, abuse, sometimes extremely bad treatment....people seem to get off on wanting power/control over me....and outcasting me..again i dont know why....ive been told i look like angelina jolie, katie holmes, shakira, catherine zeta jones...etc...not that looks matter---the poitn is that this doesnt happen to other beautiful women or women in general.....ive never heard of this kind of extreme abuse....but it happens to me....it has happened over and over again....none of the mistreatment makes sense...im a nice normal cool down to earth person...why are people outcasting and mistreating me to this extreme....it has been happening years...its so horrible and makes no sense....there are also plenty of pretty women on this planet and many much prettier than me...yet no one gets treated this way....if you are prety apparently or have a certain look and stand out--people feel entitled to abusing you...i mean random strangers...they will walk up to you, or walk near you make a comment, be mean to you...step on your foot, get in your way, stare, talk **** behind your back....i dont care if im pretty big whoop....i see hot girls everywhere...hey it doesnt matter....apparently...i still get the sh*t treatment...other hot women have 'power' i get abused and treated like crap.....im the 'special person' who gets treated like dirt by anyone....and its not fun its not special treatment....i get rejected abused and outcasted and not much else...
b/c im apparently 'beautiful' and stand out and 'alone' and go to things alone...many people can't 'handle' women like that...they cant handle being around them and being alone means its the green light for people to abuse that person....i basically get treated like an alien or weirdo and its raelly hard to deal with and accept or understand...worse...i look like someone who should have a ton of friends and who people would love--but the opposite happens...people hate me and go out of their way to do the most extreme things to me.....im beyond lonely....but meeting people is the hard part.....no matter what i do or how nice i am....its still the same treatment...and even getting kicked out, abused etc...humiliated....
for being nice normal pretty, i get outcasted and abused---not other girls just me....and its not just women who do it--its men its anyone and everyone...hence dating is impossible since if every human hates me...b/c im so 'pretty' then no guy is going to want to date me and in 32 years no guy has-- ive also been told by people 'oh youre a powerful person"....which i disagree with and its such a load of sh*t....ive never heard of pretty women being degraded disrespected and treated the way I get treated...there is no erason for it--but it is my reality and what happens to me all the time....its just my life....its not fair and it makes no sense....and im trying to make sense of it but it makes u feel like you're weird, inferior etc....and that's how most people try to make u feel...b/c apparently u are beautiful and have something special and they will go out of your way to throw you in the gutter and do anything to ruin you....
what girl can say she dated a guy, who never had sex with her for three years but took picturse of her and masturbated to her pictures...and used her for control---maybe it happens but not in this crazy weird sick way....that same guy--still mocks me and insults me and to this day hasnt had sex with me....but goes out and gets laid with other women....but he did that to torment me and make me feel the way it has made me feel--to really mess with me and mentally torment me ...

something beign wrong with me---oh yeah of course its tthe nice sweet victim who is probably perfect and nice---and somethings wrong with them....uh no most guys ditch me then end up with a girl who does drugs and steals from tehm...im a virgin very beautiful and sweet, a good person...never done drugs, dont drink...etc....i'd say im the poster child for any guy should be lucky to get a dream girl like me plus im faithful and monogamous...lots of cheaters liars and psychopaths out there....and im caring compassionate....i'd say im an amazing person and most of those guys are just sick and jerks like many people are....


why dont u get some therapy--for the jerk who stated that...im just trying to get advice like anyone else....if you want to put people down thats your flaw and issue...youre a low life and u shouldnt be responding to people-- i bet youre just another jealous jerk who 'hears of someone who is attractive' and has to insult them...it seems people in this sick society really hate attractive women to an extreme and go out of their way to bring them down.....no matter what even the statement of "im attractive" seems to piss people off....what a stupid society seriously

billy freak....try someone else...im not interested in proving anything to anyone...what a loser you are....also i would never show a pciture to you--why..b/c u feel that u are entitled to egtting 'proof' from others...who du think u are...youre just another arrogant human on this planet who treats others badly....and a total jerk (of course retaliation from a freak like you is so going to be---oh youre a b*tch and thats why people treat you badly)...gee as if i havent heard that retort 100000 times by a**holes like you.... you want to see if the picture fits the bill...lol...youre joking right...why do you soem random jerk online feel others should be showing your sorry rude condescending self their pictures...you really have some gall don't you....and ive written many posts b/c im frustrated and venting...thts what forums are for....who do u think u are-- the inspector for legitimacy of who is posting and why....funny how most of my posts are about people just like you....and yet there you are---you idiots show up just to prove everything i ever state....in any situation possible...and everytime i post anything of course there are only negative people there to be jerks...nothign new....you negative people are everywhere....you exist to bring others down....and u also will call them trolls and feel entitled to treating them in an inferior way.....fricking losers seriously...this society is never going to change and will just breed more scum like billy and others...

Last edited by shawna92; 21st January 2011 at 10:16 PM..
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Old 21st January 2011, 11:01 PM   #9
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She posted a few threads like this, I want to see if the reality matches what shes saying.
Okay, just checking. At first I was wondering if you were an internet perv
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Old 21st January 2011, 11:05 PM   #10
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With the head issues and low self esteem, bosted by the pathological need to insist she is beautiful leads me to believe she is rather homely, not that it matters, I just was curious lol.
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Old 22nd January 2011, 1:07 PM   #11
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She seems to have stopped posting...
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