Teacher Crush

[aFakeName]

See I too have girl troubles but this is no ordinary girl (Never heard that one before right?) but this is because the said girl/lady is actually a teacher. Before you jump down my throat let me just explain the back story to you. So I'm currently 18, just finished high school and about to do my final exam but over my study break there has been one thing on my mind the whole time - my teacher. She has taught me English/Media Studies for a total of 4 years now, on the first year she was only a student teacher but I still think that counts.

 

I came into her class with a bad attitude towards school and was considering dropping out to become a mechanic because school just wasn’t working out for me. This would have been a terrible decision because I would have only been ~14 at the time. Now looking back on it I can truly understand what a true saviour she was to me and possibly why I feel so strongly towards her. So before attending her classes I had to go to an external English help center/centre because I was failing that bad. To cut a long story short, 4 years later and I’m getting ‘Excellences’ consistently (In New Zealand this is the highest mark you can get, we use a system called NCEA and it goes like this: Not Achieved, Achieved, Merit then Excellence) This is could be due to large number of factors, whether it be me focusing immensely in her classes or the fact that I didn’t skip a single period/class all year. I don’t care, the point is that I have the biggest respect for her and am attracted to her even though I know it is morally very wrong and fully against what society believes in.

 

Over the last 4 years she has been always in the back of my mind and I’m not afraid to admit that even in relationships with other women, I still just couldn’t stop thinking about her. I understand that this is very disrespectful and that I should have ended the relationship but sometimes it is nice to have the security of a girlfriend. She was everything I wanted, she fitted my perfect description of an extremely attractive female but I just felt a special something towards her. She is only 26 and I’ve been with her since she started teaching, which is probably why I can relate to her so much because she is on my level yet still mature enough to be successful in life. For the record she was really inspirational to me and I’m now going to be going to University next year, in the hope that I can someday be someone as cool as her.

 

So it was approaching the end of high school for me. I made an effort to gather memories of her in forms such as: getting a picture with her, her signing my yearbook and exchanging emails. This was all fine and good but now I so often find myself looking over these items which are ever so precious to me. Gazing over these and it is not long before I find myself getting teary eyes or wishing I had more time to spend with her. To make things worse she recently sent me an email thanking me for everything over the last couple years and wishing me the best for the future.

 

You would think that this would be closure for me but I just can’t seem to escape the constant need to relieve memories. Before you ask, no I have not had a sexual relationship with this women and will not ever post the photos of me and her. Thanks for reading this story so far, since I know it might seem pretty cliche or whatever but this is a real problem to me.

 

So now it is your turn. I only ask for advice to get over her or ways to move on. I’ve asked a few friends the same question but got generally pretty immature answers because I have been talking about her for like 4 years now, so they probably just assume I’m joking. I’m not. I’ve had responses like: bang her in the science room, stalk her, rip up the photos and delete the emails, focus on another women, work out, pick up a new time-consuming hobby and everything in between.

 

Thanks in advance and I'm sorry if I'm in the wrong thread or whatever because I only just joined this forum