Boyfriend Mixed Messages

[Blonde4u]

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now, he always seems to think he does nothing wrong. I have done some things that are wrong too but, I admit them and say I am sorry. But he just likes to point fingers and blame other people. His family and I have tried for 3 years to get him to take his Prozac. He will not take it again he thinks the problem is everyone else and not him and everyone else is crazy. He thinks loving him is crazy I will want to work things out and he will just call me pushy. I will be the one always trying to work it out. He always fights with me then blames that on me as well, I have done everything I have possibly can to make him to stop fighting. He gets mad and blows up if I talk about Christmas last year and calls me a nag? Also he says that he has tried to work it out with me for a long time by saying not to fight with him? How is that really working it out when he is the one that does the fighting? People that have known me for a very long time knows I hate fighting and I try to stop fights. The only thing I do fight about is only standing up for my self for example: He gets mad at me for texting my mom on this trip telling her how rotten he is being to me. I say my mommy is not on this trip is she? We have not been on one single trip ALONE for 3 years!! His mom has always been with us or, somebody there. The thing that also bothers me is that he likes to talk about his past way too much, I ignore it half of the time but most people would like to move on go forward and forget about the past. He talks about his ex-wife way too much and it’s been about 6 years since she left him. Yes, I have confronted to him about this and now instead of all the time he talks about his ex-wife about once a month. But this month its been two times! He talked about her on the cruise we went on he talked about her on his graduation day/night! His teasing is really crude as well and sometimes it is hard to take but, he says I shouldn’t be upset over it and it’s the way he teases. He also says that he was like this before we first went out and, I would never get upset over his teasing. I remember very well his teasing wasn't this crude and, he keeps saying it was. But I think that joking about another hot girl’s body in front of me Is uncalled for… I don’t think that is funny and, he knows I am on medication and he still calls me bi polar? The only time I get upset is when that he says things like when we went on our trip “maybe we can find you a crazy doctor on the cruise”. Really? I shouldn’t be upset about that? Then he tells me I shouldn’t be upset for the whole day and that most girls are over it within a few seconds but, I am the one that is upset the whole day. I can explain myself on that one he does mean things all day like that and, that is why I am upset all day long… The other thing that really bothers me is when he yells at me and then expects me to be affectionate right after.. It’s really hard to be affectionate with someone who yells at them and is mean to them afterwords. He says it’s not making things better by not but, it’s really hard too. Our 2nd year together we talked about marriage I believe that we have talked about marriage our first year. But now all of a sudden he’s changed he wants to break up it’s fights all the time. I am not sure weather or, not he wants to work this out? He sends me mixed messages he does then he doesn't. He always wants his space and, I hate knowing that is a sign of breaking up even from my guy friends say so and internet has said this as well. I don’t like that fact he always wants his space I only see him on the weekends and, now we hardly see each other on Fridays anymore because he got a new job or, “claims” he does have a new job. He didn’t see me at all this week because, I took it too far he says he is mad at me for going into his accounts and finding him on match.com. He's only mad about me going onto his accounts because, I found him on match.com not only that he is such a hypocrite for going onto my club that I am on and hacked into that one. But then if he doesn’t want to be in this relationship anymore why does he make up excuses to get me to stay? I know I had no right into getting into his accounts neither did he into mine but, the way he is acting now got me concerned I wanted to know where things were going. Now he wants to see a counselor I told him fine on a few conditions I told him I will not go to a counselor that he knows. Because if we go to a counselor he knows then they will just sit there and, agree with him the whole time without them hearing my side of the story… I told him I will find a counselor then he says he will think about it? This is what I mean I am reading mixed signals here and, I am not sure what to think right now. Even before he says that he asked why the counselor he knows is a girl one he knows how I am about guy doctors. But then says he will think about it after I told him that I will find a couples counselor and will get my mom to help me. He says he will think about it? This is what I mean is he really bi polar? I am not sure what to think anymore in our relationship right now. My feelings are that he wants to marry me but, is afraid to pop the question and that is why he is like this afraid of being divorced again. I am really not sure what is going on here. Another example that he maybe bi polar is that he is only sad for a second that his dog is dying then he blows up for no reason. I love him a death and he hasn't talked to me about his feelings until I posted match.com on his facebook he has removed me from his facebook beacuse I did that. But his friends are still friends with me? I am not sure why I am glad they are but, I am not understanding why they are if he removed me and blocked me. He has blocked me because of what I posted like I said but I cannot see anything he does or, anything anymore I don't even know if he put his relationship status to single his friends told me he hasn't. He said to me tonight that things are on hold right now and, I am not sure what that means. Is this sign of bi polar? Or, flat out being scared of being married again? I am not sure what to think here and, I am not sure what question to ask I am just getting mixed messages.. I am not sure what is going on right now I love him and hope that things will get better in our relationship. One more thing he gets mad that his friends message me and, I message back. Because I tell them what's going on then he sits there and lie to his mom saying that I messaged all his friends and told them. But they messaged me and asked me if I am doing ok, I tell them I am not doing okay, half of them saw what I posted. I haven't eaten I have been depressed I have been sitting in my room crying that things have gone this far and he blames me? I mean he is claiming that match.com was from a long time ago I honestly don't believe him because his email said profile approved 3 days ago. But then he deletes the profile after he got caught... Now talks about how he feel with me? It just doesn't make any sense... If he wanted to break up why is he making up excuses for me to stay? I am so confused and, I am not really sure what question I am trying to ask but, just some advice if anyone else knows what's going on here I am in the loop.. One more thing he didn't even care to know what week it was last week. Then when he finally got it when I messaged him he had the nerve to tell me that would my grandma that has passed away MY grandma feel by the way I treated him!?? Seriously he's bringing my dead grandma into this? I told him since he brought up my grandma into it that I said just remember that she knows when your lying and she knows the Truth about how you are treating me. She is watching..

[january2010]

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