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My Wife Wants a Threesome


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My wife told me this weekend while we were drinkig that she would like to fool around with a woman. This totally floored me, I had no idea my wife thought like that, but I find it highly arousing. I asked her if she had anyone in mind and she said one of our close friends (who is married to a very good friend of mine).

 

I don't think the friend will go for it and I know the Hubsand will not allow it without his presence. My wife and I spoke about it for a while that night and then SHE brought it up agian the next evening. This leads me to believe she really wants to pursue this.

 

I have some questions I need answers for

 

1. How can we approach the friend and her husband about doing this? I have been friends with him since grade school, I do not want to do anythng to jeapordize our friendship.

 

2. I can't let this opportunity pass by because I never thought I would have this chance. I love my wife dearly and I want this for her and I both. Are there any other options available.

 

Any Suggestions would be appreciated

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NickelbackFan

I wouldn't if I were you. I am not in a relationship however I had a threesome with a female friend of mine and it ruined my friendship with her. I learned that fantasies are best kept fantasies. Search my post history for threesome disaster and read my story if you want some insite.

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Wow

That really turned out bad for you Nickelback. However I feel my my situation may be somewhat different. First, my wife wants to be with another girl and I have no intention of doing anything sexually to the other girl. I want this to be about my wife's fantasy, not mine (although I do want this badly). Second, she only mentioned the friend as one person she would like to do this with, she also said that "a stranger" might work as well.

 

I think the stranger scenario would be best for many reasons, no emotions, no friendships and no stringes attached. I just want this for her and since I feel she really wants this I want to try my best to fulfill this for her in the best way without regrets later.

 

Another tidbit she also said she would like for us to have sex while in the same room with the friend and her hubby, maybe to get things started! I am still torn between this and maybe just finding a "stranger".

 

What do you think?

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Chrome Barracuda

THIS WILL NOT END UP GOOD FOR ANYONE!

 

believe me on this. out of all the women your wife wants to have is a female friend that is MARRIED! wtf? is your wife secretly gay, because this is how it all begins.

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Oh how nice of you. :rolleyes:

 

Try googling polygamy, you'll probably have better luck in those types of communities. :sick:

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Let your wife do the running.

if this is something she wants to do so badly, get her to make the approaches.

 

Just sit back and watch what happens.

 

It's true though. The reality never comes up to the fantasy.

Our minds are the best sexual organ we have, and really? That's where such matters should stay.

 

I see this ending badly.

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It is not cool to put your penis any where near your friends wife. Regardless of what your wife, his wife, even he says. This will take your friendship down a very weird road.

 

The average person has around 20-30 friends in high school 10-15 in college after that it goes to about 2-3 close friends and even lower after you hit 40. Respect the friendship.

 

Im not saying you shouldnt try a threesome! Me and my spouse decided to give it a shot and it sparked our marriage and my sexuality like forrest wild fire. I suggest finding some one that you will never see again that you and your wife both agree try puting up a dating application, seriously http://www.screencupid.com

-Goodluck

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...and I know the Hubsand will not allow it without his presence.

 

Why do either of you need to be present?

Of course he isnt going to say - sure, here ya go, use my wife by all means!

More likely he will say - gee, I'd really like to help your wife out, send her over to our place anytime.

 

If it is a fantasy of your wife's to experience sex with a woman and there is a possibility your friend's wife shares this interest....

 

Why do you need to be there at all?

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I agree with you Misty

The last thing I want to happen is to ruin friendships, this is why I feel that the "stranger"scenario is really the only way it will work without hangups.

 

I chose to post on this site because I respect the feedback that I will get. However I do not appreciate some people insinuating that I am making this into my fantasy, which it is not.

 

My wife is the one who started the conversation herself the first night and then she mentioned it again the following evening. I believe some like to belittle others in order to make themselves feel better. It is called Insecurity.

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...and I know the Hubsand will not allow it without his presence.

 

Why do either of you need to be present?

Of course he isnt going to say - sure, here ya go, use my wife by all means!

More likely he will say - gee, I'd really like to help your wife out, send her over to our place anytime.

 

If it is a fantasy of your wife's to experience sex with a woman and there is a possibility your friend's wife shares this interest....

 

Why do you need to be there at all?

 

Thats just it, I do not want to screw his wife, this is about my wife's fantasy, She wants to have sex with me while she and another girl do their thing. This is about HER, not me and not the other girl.

 

I do not have to be present for them to have fun, but in our relationship we would never exclude the other in times of intimacy. That is the one thing that truly bonds us together and is why I have no intentions of having sex with anyone other than my wife. I do not have any concerns about this girl on girl thing because I know my wife is not a Lesbian.

 

I see no way that my friend would say "sure come and screw my wife", first I would not anyway and second that is not what we are after. This is about her exploring this little dark side that she exposed to me. I personally would invite my friend and his wife together for same room sex, buy no swapping partners, but that is MY Idea. I am just telling you what My Wife said she wanted.

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Dude, bottom line. If you (both) include other people into your sex lives, your marriage will change forever. This is certain. Whether for good or bad, nobody knows, and there is no way of telling beforehand. If you want to risk it, for a few moments gratification, then do so with open eyes, and don't expect it to go back to the way it was before. That's not going to happen. Involving friends is an extremely bad idea, as it will change two marriages and four friendships if things go bad and jealousy and insecurities arise. If you must do this, a stranger is better, but your Marriage WILL change.

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....

I chose to post on this site because I respect the feedback that I will get. However I do not appreciate some people insinuating that I am making this into my fantasy, which it is not.

 

I personally never for one insinuated anything of the kind. I am referring to the fact that this is currently your wife's fantasy.

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someotherguy

1. Don't f*ck your friends unless you're cool with them not being friends any more.

 

2. Don't even talk to them about this.

 

If you're serious about trying it, do it in stages:

 

Have your wife pick up some hottie in a bar for some cuddling, kissing, maybe heavy petting. Do not let it go further the first time.

 

Give it a couple weeks to simmer and see how you both feel about it. Be totally, ridiculously, bluntly honest about every feeling you have.

 

Are you comfortable with her kissing another woman? Touching her breasts and genitals? Having oral sex with her?

 

Is she ok with you being present? How about you joining in? Are you only allowed to watch? Touch? Penetrate?

 

I recommend stopping at the heavy petting the first time you "experiment" so that you have less to feel guilty/judgmental/*******ish about later.

 

If you're uncomfortable with it, tell her, and let her decide if it's a deal breaker in your relationship. You can try to accommodate her desires, but she has to be willing to compromise when it goes to far, or else you both need to find new relationships.

 

Good luck.

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I personally never for one insinuated anything of the kind. I am referring to the fact that this is currently your wife's fantasy.

 

 

Goodgrief I was not referring to your comment. The comment I was referencing was K'aycie, just to clear that up

I am sure she would love to be in my league, but in reality neither my wife or I would look her way twice (even assuming that is her real pic).

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GorillaTheater

Wouldn't be my cup of tea. I'm a simple man who prefers simple relationships, simple dynamics, and one syllable words. It's your marriage, do it how you both want.

 

Perhaps oddly, my main objection is over the fact that you seem to be doing all the legwork to put this together. I don't understand why your wife isn't a little more actively engaged in making her fantasy a reality.

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Wouldn't be my cup of tea. I'm a simple man who prefers simple relationships, simple dynamics, and one syllable words. It's your marriage, do it how you both want.

 

Perhaps oddly, my main objection is over the fact that you seem to be doing all the legwork to put this together. I don't understand why your wife isn't a little more actively engaged in making her fantasy a reality.

 

Gorilla I am very analytical. I analyze everything from every angle that I gain perspective from. I base my decisions from the analysis. My wife is not the same, she may take what one person tells her and believe it to be the gospel. So I feel I am doing my due diligence to scope out what others have to say who have experienced this. That is all I am trying to do, If I find the general consensus will be a negative one, then I will discuss that with my wife and go from there.

 

But thanks for you input

Any and all advice is appreciated

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GorillaTheater

No, certainly nothing wrong with fact-gathering; you'd be nuts to plunge into something like this without alot of information and deliberation.

 

I guess I was under the impression that it is falling on you to make the actual approach. That's what I was referring to.

 

You do realize that you and/or your wife approaching this other couple may well end the friendship, right? Is that an acceptable risk?

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No, certainly nothing wrong with fact-gathering; you'd be nuts to plunge into something like this without alot of information and deliberation.

 

I guess I was under the impression that it is falling on you to make the actual approach. That's what I was referring to.

 

You do realize that you and/or your wife approaching this other couple may well end the friendship, right? Is that an acceptable risk?

 

 

After reading what most everyone has said, I can almost certainly rule out anything involving our friends, unless it would be tipsy same room sex. But even then I don't know how it would turn out.

 

So no I do not want to end our friendship especially over something like this.

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Don't do it with someone you know, at least not the first time. Find a stranger. I speak from experience. If your wife has a strong sexual attraction to the woman find someone similar. She will get it out of her system, and it probably will go away. Honestly, unless your wife is a lesbian this is a one-off.

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Don't do it with someone you know, at least not the first time. Find a stranger. I speak from experience. If your wife has a strong sexual attraction to the woman find someone similar. She will get it out of her system, and it probably will go away. Honestly, unless your wife is a lesbian this is a one-off.

 

 

Care to elaborate on how your experience with a friend ended up. And no I don't think my wife is a lesbian, but she does enjoy watching the Real L Word.

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Dont know of any instances where one S wasn't into the 3 some, but allowed it to occur, and it turned out OK.

 

Personally know two guys whose W's wanted a 3some, the guys gave in, and the W's ended up having A's with the OP. Both ended up leaving their H's.

 

Unless both partners are up for it, it's a receipt for disaster.

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