cliche_boy Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 We all know there are differnces between males and females due to the different ways they are treated in their upbringing and because of the different instincs we have for the different jobs we are programmed to do. Males to fight off potential competition and girls to choose a mate. Anything that reduces the girls options to choose from she doesnt like (such as skanky dressed girls, need people to like them) and jealousy. Ive found that from past relationships i was prolly too jealous and in my current 1 am barely jealous at nething; my gf talking to another guy, hugging another guy, dancing with another guy, another guy buying her drinks, spending time with another guy, talking to another guy on the phone, having another guy sleep over and me being unwelcome. They ofcourse are her friends and i know she isnt doing nething phisical with them but for some reason i just cant find it in myself to really give a ****. But when ever i may hint at jealousy she getts all pissed off at me and im not even jealous at all. The other night she was stuffin around with this other guy, she told me he was gonna buy her a drink, i said "yer, im not suprised, milk it hahah". She then got pissed off at me, thought i was jealous, slapped me on my leg (not good, makes me treat her differently, dont like being tempted to hit back which i wouldnt neway). Her female instinct kicked in, percieved an innocent comment as jealousy and got pissed off. Ever wondered y when a girl gets jealous the male reaction is "aww" and thats the end of it whereas all hell breaks loose if the guys were to get jealous. So waddya reckon? On the simple face value of a jealousy problems its the guys fault, but if u look deeper, is the girl just over-reacting due to her "need options to choose from" instinct. Guys certainly dont react the way women do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cliche_boy Posted August 8, 2003 Author Share Posted August 8, 2003 good to see that the people on this board are intelectually curious, i put a more detailed rather than simple face value ideas that every1 on this board seems to have to yas and no1 has the intelectual disceplin to grasp an idea, play with it and hold it up to the light. Im not gonna give much concideration to any advice on this board cos you people havnt/wouldnt concidred ya own ideas yaself. Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 Don't know where you are, but a vast majority of users are from the US and so probably still fast asleep right now... And I haven't responded because I don't want to. See, when you post sarcastic comments and unhelpful advice and ridicule other posters you will learn that they tend not to have much time for you. If you want to join in, join in. Link to post Share on other sites
superd Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 clicheboy, you have to ask yourself what kind of woman you have if she is trying to make you jealous? You either need to straighten her out or she is going to turn you into a spousal abuser. Your heading down a dangerous path unless you use constructive confrontation and let her know that her behavior is bothering you. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 or she is going to turn you into a spousal abuser. Whoa! Hey! Nobody 'turns' anybody into a spousal abuser. It sounds to me like the entire relationship is sick and should be ended. He doesn't care if men stay over; she does everything she can to make him jealous and then pretends to be mad when he gets jealous. Oh, yeah - that's the sort of relationship you want to save. Not. boy, this isn't a 'men and women' issue. It's a you and her issue and, while communication with her might work, I think this relationship is bad news for you both and it would be best ended. Link to post Share on other sites
superd Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 moimeme, while people do choose what they want to be, that by no means means that if a person has a tendency to be violent or angry that you should push their buttons or that they need to have their buttons pushed. I know that the world doesn't agree with that and it takes some balls to disagree with the whole wide world, but I never claimed to be a coward. Usually people try to improve other people by helping to make them show their weakness (i.e. their anger) so they can learn from it but most of the time I find it is more expediant to ignore overly angry people. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 that by no means means that if a person has a tendency to be violent or angry that you should push their buttons Well, if a person has a tendency to be violent or angry it is foolish to be involved with them in the first place, wouldn't you say? It is preposterous to suggest that one conduct a relationship in which one has to try to figure out somebody's 'buttons' and then have to try to avoid 'pushing' them. If a person has violence 'buttons', then flee and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 It doesn't sound like your girl is respond in jealousy to you. It sounds like she's angry with you because you are not jealous which to her may translate into feeling like you don't really care about her or if she's hanging out with other guys. I'm not saying you have to be unreasonably jealous, but if she's your girl, and you both are in a commit or exclusive relationship, there are just something you have to set boundaries with when it comes to how much time and attention you give other members of the opposite sex. Having a guy sleep over with her? What's that all about? Letting a man buy your woman a drink and you telling her to milk it sounds like your putting her out there for somebody else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cliche_boy Posted August 13, 2003 Author Share Posted August 13, 2003 I told my girlfriend the other night that i rarely get jealous, "you have another guy sleep over, make me feel unwelcome when he does, have other guys buy you drinks, dance with other guys, hug other guys, most guys wouldnt put up with that and after all that, you think im the jealous type?". Told her how females have a huge defence against jealousy, often percieve something as jealousy when its not, blow jealousy out of proportion, guys dont react the same way girls do to jealousy. And she told me how she's really happy being with me, she's not used to the freedom i give her cos she's been with controlling guys before (Usually leads to a "no guys ever gonna tell me what to do again" attitude). Said a bunch of other relationship stuff thats not relevent to the jealousy thing im talking about. And last night her friend was at her house, as they have always done when a certain TV show is on. He usually stays over, they get drunk and have D n' M's. This time she didnt get drunk and then drove him home. How good is that? they're becomming propper friends, not a deep emotionally involved boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship. Everything's comming up cliche_boy! Link to post Share on other sites
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