Day 4 of Separation

[Ash78]

Hi I'm new so please be gently with me.

 

My freinds say that I am moving too fast and that thoughts of moving to a new area and starting again or thinking about the future are too soon at day 4.

 

I have been aware for many months that things were not right and now it has come to an end. I don't want it to and have been unable to speak with her. I really want us to sort things out but she has said that she knows how she feels and this is the end of the line.

 

I desparately want to speak with her but don't want to push her further away. We have two boys and I miss them.

 

I cannot face life as a single man after 14 1/2 years of marriage. I didn't like dating the first time round and was happy when I fell in love with my wife.

 

Is it too soon to be thinking about some companionship? I know I need female company and am getting very anxious being on my own.

[hopesndreams]

Yes, it's too soon to be thinking of female companionship.

 

Why are you afraid of being on your own?

[Ash78]

Yes, it's too soon to be thinking of female companionship.

 

Why are you afraid of being on your own?

 

 

I am very shy and get lonely easily.

[hopesndreams]

Time to embrace the loneliness and figure out what you want in life. Someone can't do that for you, you must do that for yourself.

 

It's really not as difficult as it sounds. Once you figure it out, the rest will fall into place.

[Ash78]

Time to embrace the loneliness and figure out what you want in life. Someone can't do that for you, you must do that for yourself.

 

It's really not as difficult as it sounds. Once you figure it out, the rest will fall into place.

 

I have done that in my 20's I don't think I can do it again at my time of life

[hopesndreams]

What choice have you got?

[Ash78]

Yes you have a point but my idea is to get a dog. Loyal to the end and will not argue back. Although today I reached a point of calmness and serenity much of the the pain is subsiding. I think sub consiously I was prepared for this. I have hardly shed a tear and that worries me.

[Loxx]

I am very shy and get lonely easily.

 

Hey Ash,,

Went though this myself almost two years ago.. I can remember the feeling of hopeless-ness you are probably feeling.

 

At first its hard but you gotta get out there and break the shyness one step at a time. Dont give up though and keep trying after a while working on yourself you will be just fine or probably better off.

 

Oh just wanted to mention that statement is probably why you and your wife are not working out.. Sounds like you are very co dependent on her and you need to remember how to be a man.. I am not trying to take a cheap shot at you but i think alot of us men forget how when we are married for a long time..

 

Best of luck, it will all work out!

[Ash78]

Loxx

Appreciate the sentiment. The shyness is something that I will tackle head on. I have been much better since being with my wife she brought me out of my shell alot because she is so social.

We have had huge financial pressures and it has been like living in a pressure cooker for 2 years. This just made the situation impossible and I just burried my head in the sand.

[Ash78]

Loxx

I am more worried about my lack of hurt and pain that any other emotional upset. The emotion that I got on the Saturday morning after being dumped on Friday night was one of Releif more than anything else.

The emotion that I feel most now is anxiety and I cannot put my finger on why that is. I have come to realise that I was in love with marriage and that whilst I loved my wife I was not in love with her.

Phoned up about a dog last night and it looks as if I can get what I want so am going to see a weimaraner on Tuesday afternoon. 16 month old dog with issues. Which will give me something to work on.

I work from home for myself which can make you go barmy if you don't see anyone from one end of the week to the next.