BiancaRura Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I have fallen in love with my bf but I don't know how to tell him. Every time I'm with him I replay the words in my head but I wonder what he'll say if I tell him I love him. I love almost everything about him, there are a few things that I can live with but don't really care for. He has told me he wants to move slow but he has me over at his house almost every day and I stay with him from Thurs night up to Sun night every weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love spending all this time together. But it has made me fall faster then I was "hoping" for. One night in a "drunken stupor" (he only had a couple drinks) he told me he was falling in love with me, but hasn't said anything since about the subject. I don't know if he doesn't remember saying it or if he hopes I don't remember hearing it. On the 4th we were walking down town with about 10 other ppl and we were all goofing around and he did something hilarious and he asked "Don't you just love me?" and I told him yes. I don't really want to be the first in our relationship to say "I love you" because I don't want him to feel he HAS to say it back if he doesnt feel the same. I also don't want to wait forever to hear him say those 3 lovely words to me. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 ahhh, that can be tricky, saying the L-word too early in a relationship, because it can cause some people to shy away. But, my belief is this: If you love somebody, you shouldn't be ashamed to let them know because life is too damned short. If you are feeling cautious or self-conscious about using the particular word "love," tell your guy you care very much for him, which will progress to you telling him that you love him. when my husband decided that it was "okay" to have feelings for me (he'd been burnt by marriage before), his way of letting me know that he cared for me was to tell me that he "loved me very dearly." Eventually, he dropped the "dearly" bit and came straight out with "I love you," unsolicited. It takes time, but you may be pleasantly surprised once you do proclaim your love for your guy, because he might just be hesitant to say anything because he's not sure of your feelings! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaRura Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 I have been testing the "love" waters.... Every now and then I ll say something like "I love spending time with you" or " I love the way you do..." something like that just to see how he will react to the L word. Im not ashamed of the way I feel about my BF, Im just cautious. He bitches that you never know who anyone is and hes scared that Im going to change after we are together for a long period (like his ex did and they were together for about 3 1/2 yrs). Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I just had this problem last week with my boy friend of 5 months. I couldn't't't tell him I love you because the words wouldn't come out and I didn't want o freak him out. SO i left him a card that said I LOVE YOU and left it for him to find. He found it and said thank you for the card. I fuigured this was a good way of doing it because he wasn't put on the spot to say it back. as a matter of fact he didn't say it back, but he know's i love him and i am not ashamed of it. and I know that when it's time for him to say it to me he'll really mean it. but he loves his card it is sitting on his entertainment center and he told me it makes him happy every time he lookes at it ( halmark does wonders) GOOD LUCK Link to post Share on other sites
turtle Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 You could always say it over the phone. At the end of the conversation, say a quick, casual "love ya" and see if he says goodbye (as normal) or if he says it back. If he says it back, then next time you are in a romantic situation (or just hanging out) look him in the eyes and say "I love you." You will propably get the I love you return. Link to post Share on other sites
turtle Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 and see if he says goodbye (as normal) or if he says it back. If he says it back, then When I said it I meant "Love you" Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaRura Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 figured that much, Turtle. LOL. Im just worried that my feeling wont be returned... I dont know, I tend to overanalyze things. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 You could start with some high compliments and see how they're taken - you know, the 'there's nobody else who does X like you' or I've never met anybody as Y as you'. See if he looks worried. Instead, if he's pleased at your admiration, it's a good sign. With luck, he'll return that sort of compliment to you - if so, you can compliment him again (not immediately, obviously) but it's one way to 'work up' to saying IT. After all, if you send enough 'there's nobody else like you' messages (and get some back) then it should be fairly obvious what will come next! Link to post Share on other sites
dot Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 It has been my experience if you tell a man you love him he does one of two things, run or tell you back. if you have been together for more than a year he is probly waiting for you to say it first! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaRura Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 His Birthday is coming up and I got him a card that says (front) Between the two of us, we've got it all... you've got the looks, the brains, the charm... (back) and I've got you. Happy Birthday. I don't know what to write in it, I don't know if I want to do the "I love you" thing in his B-day card or not. Also, I don't know what to get him for his b-day. He'll be 22 and he's really into his Harley (but I'm a broke college student so I can't really afford anything for his bike). Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I thought S-heather's advice was sweet; if you don't feel comfortable with "I love you" on his card, maybe sign it, "with love, (your name here)"? That's pretty straight forward. are there any harley shops that he frequents? maybe they sell gift certificates, though I know some people aren't comfortable with the idea of giving money or certificates as gifts. Another idea is to cook his favorite meal for him and top it off with ice cream for dessert -- I've never seen a guy turn down food! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaRura Posted July 9, 2003 Author Share Posted July 9, 2003 There is one Harley shop here in town but my bf and the owner isn't on speaking terms over a product that was purchased there so my bf said he will never step foot in there again. He has spent over $13,000 in that shop and last time he bought something from there, it was defective but the owner said "tough s***". So that why he won't shop there anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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