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EX- doesn't remember me.


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I've commented on a few posts and decided to start my own. This is awhile go so the intesity has died down.

 

I dated a girl for 2 years in college. We were great together, and then she dumped me. Which, as i look back on it, makes sense, since I was becoming distant and taking her for granted. We remained friends and called/emailed occasionally.

 

After a few months of not corresponding, I wrote her an email to see how things were. The email I got said basically, "Wow, I thought my parents were going to talk to you but I guess they didn't. I was in an accident awhile ago and lost my memories, I don't remember you..." and it went on telling me to get in touch with her.

 

I called that evening...

 

As I was told, she was found in a parking lot, beaten to a pulp. She had lost all her memories, but could make new ones. She hadn't been raped, and the #1 suspect was an ex-boyfriend (pre-me) who had beaten her in the past.

 

I ended up going down there and we hung out for a weekend (much against the wishes of my current girlfriend at the time), to see if i could spark new memories. I didn't...

 

Shortly after 9-11, I got a call from her, apparently a bit of her high school memories came flooding back, as well as college, including me, since i was a big part of her life then.

 

I can't even begin to imagine what that is like. And to all of sudden have memories float back, that can't be acted upon. She tried to start fresh with me, and... well it was too much for me. It took me a long time to get over her, and I felt I did what I could for her after the accident. I haven't talked to her since.

 

It doesn't bother me anymore really, esp since i know some memories of me have come back. But as she was my first love, it was rough on me for awhile, knowing that this 2 year relationship only existed in my head. I can't even begin to imagine the turmoil and pain it caused in her life. She was always tough though...

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kind of like when someone you love dies. You grieve for their loss, and as time passes, you start to question that person's importance in your life because nothing seems like it was before. So, you mourn for them all over again ...

 

somehow and somewhere, you've got to see the blessings that arise from a situation like hers, you know?

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Originally posted by yes

what's your question? or just sharing?

 

Just sharing, sorry if this is the wrong forum.

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Don't feel bad. Lots of women forget who I am and are able to do so with being beaten or experiencing any other trauma. Maybe I am the trauma???

 

I'm very sorry this happened to your ex and hopefully she will have a full recovery. Sounds like she's making progress.

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I agree that you've done all one could reasonably expect of you. And don't forget that you have a girlfriend. You have no further obligation to this woman, and sticking around because you're a good guy is only going to create problems for you in your current relationship.

 

Sure, she was your first love and will always hold a place in your heart as such. But it ended painfully for you and you aren't going to revert back to an earlier phase of your life just because she needs people around her. Her recovery will follow its own course, no need to sidetrack your life to provide help that would only be of limited usefulness anyway.

 

If there were unresolved issues between the two of you they would have been raised and addressed after the break-up/before her accident. You guys kept in touch after all. You've done what you could.

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