becoming "official.." (it's long, sorry)

[Ladybug313]

Good afternoon all. I hope this will be my last question regarding this guy I have been dating ( I've mentioned him a few times on this board...). I just need a little feedback.

 

After a lot of thinking and pondering, I have finally decided that if this guy asks me to be exclusive with him, I will say yes. He has mentioned this already, but he never really came out and asked to be him and me, the two of us, etc..yet.

 

I know there is the whole long distance thing that we will have to go through, but I realize that if he wants to be exclusive, I am confident to go through with it. The other day we had a very long talk on the phone, and by the end of the conversation, I had expressed my honest feelings for him, that if he asked me out I was ready to say yes, but if not, I was going to go home and date other people. ( We won't be seeing eachother until mid July or so) and if someone "whisks me off my feet" before he finally makes up his mind, then so be it. But my feelings are with him, but at the same time I do not want to wait around. (all of this I said)

 

This is what he said: "I wish I could see you in person and talk to you. I am determined to get my feelings across to you when I see you later this summer. But as of now I am in no position to ask you to not date other people and wait for me, and at the same time I would hate to see you putting your life on hold cuz of me anyway...so do what you want to do, date others, but I am coming home this summer and I am going to talk to you." I asked him "so do you want to be with me or not..what are you trying to say? Are you just not sure?" And he goes. "I do. I am pretty sure." Whoa...ok, but so..what's going on here? We are in this major stage of limbo, and I don't even know if he's asked me out or not right now! I guess he wants to see me in person? Argh, all the way in July...

 

Now, like other posts here, he has been hot and cold in the past when we were in touch, there were times when he wouldn't say what he would say he'd do, make promises and break them, not pick up his phone, etc which did make me upset, but he's gotten better over time ( and I started to like him a lot more and more) and now, ever since we had this conversation he's been pretty darn consistent, calling when he would, visiting when he would, etc you get the idea...and just last evening, after a light conversation, he goes: "hey...I'm sorry for treating you so badly.." I said, "like for what?" And he goes after some silence, "just..just about everything...sorry for everything."

 

Anyway, I just feel things are good now, and to ask him why he acted so inconsistently before would be poking holes into something good going on right now wouldn't it? I am sure he had his own reasons, but I think things have taken a turn now..my friends think I should be ABSOLUTELY sure of him before I commit ( that is if he asks) so they think it might be wise to get the reason why he was so hot and cold before...but do I really need to do that? Would it be wiser to know? I don't want to pry into his private life you know? His business was his business then..

 

Thanks for reading this long post. Let me know what you think maybe I am wrong about all this?

[yes]

if i were you, i'd do exactly what he told you to do - see others, and wait for july.

 

if you go on dates with someone else, it won't hurt, if you really like this guy. on the other hand if he comes in july and things aren't as good in person as across a distance, you won't feel like a fool for waiting 2-3 months.

 

good luck,

yes

[Ladybug313]

hey thanks for responding, 'yes.' I guess I know what I need to do, but obviously I had *some* doubt about this, hence, the posting right? Because words sound beautiful and can get one all gaga, but actions are the ones that ring true..so..yeah.

Well, thanks!