Mimsicles Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Sorry if i rant on but i just have to get all my feelings out to get it off my chest and hopefully feel better! If you read my earlier posts you will find that i have been in a 2 and a half year relationship with my bf, things were great until a month back when he suggested we have a break! Anyway cut a long story short he begged me to go back,and i did, only to find that the reason he wanted a break was to try and get with a girl he works with!! Well we are still together and im trying to put it behind me. Anyway he decided whilst on the break, that he is going to Amsterdam for his 21st birthday with a group of 5 single lads. I am quite hurt that he would rather spend it with them than me! I know very well that there are 2 things that people go to Amsterdam for and they are drugs and prostitutes! Am i right to be annoyed or am i over reacting, its just i really dont trust him at the moment and he's not making things any better by going there. I feel as if his mates comes first and i am the last thing on a long list Do you think that his mates will be a bad influence on him over there and am i right to be angry!!?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mimsicles Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 Please any advice would be appriciated. Just rang him to wish him a Happy Birthday he was as high as a kite and had been smoking pot all day and told me he had been to watch strippers. I didnt get an i love you or a miss u, nothing whatsoever!! I feel like i am putting everything into this relationship and getting nothing in return. Please help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Rylle Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Seriously he sounds like a massive douchebag. While I know people who go to Amsterdam for other reasons, um...no wonder you don't trust this guy He's obviously not committed to you if he dumped you so that he could go after some other girl. I guess the good news is that he probably didn't cheat on you, but seriously? It didn't work out with the other girl so he came crawling back to you? Or, he screwed the other girl, got it out of his system, and came crawling back? WTF?! You're probably only feeling insecure and pissed right now because of past issues. He sounds insensitive and he's clearly not a caring, loving bf. Sorry if you're just looking for reassurance or something, but I can't just can't believe that you're still with this guy. If you're going to stay with this guy you need to start asserting yourself and making your needs, wants and boundaries clear to him, and demand that he starts acting like a bf, because his behavior is simply unacceptable. Stop letting him get away with it. You should probably have some sort of discussion about these things, and whether or not he is capable of behaving accordingly. If not, trust me, you can certainly find someone else. You don't have to be driving yourself crazy wondering if he's going to cheat, or what he's up to. Link to post Share on other sites
Rylle Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Do you think that his mates will be a bad influence on him over there and am i right to be angry!!?? And I don't understand why you want to know if his friends are a bad influence on him?!?!?! He doesn't need a bad influence to behave like a complete jackass. He just is one, and he's already proven that to you on at least two occasions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mimsicles Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 I need the strength to walk away from this relationship but i just dont have it! I think of him every minute of the day and night! So i know i wouldn't be happy without him Anyway im going to hospital tomorrow for an operation. I thought he may come and see me in hospital when he comes back but apparently he is going out clubbing with his mates. I said well i thought i might get to see you under the circumstances but he said " well never mind"!!! And then said he was going out tuesday night too!! I dont think he loves me anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
Rylle Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Well you already knew he was an asswipe, so his behavior shouldn't be too surprising. Sorry to sound so harsh, but I think you're just lying to yourself with all these expectations. I know it sucks because you like him, but seriously, actions speak louder than words and all that. Of course you can -and WILL - be happy without him. C'mon - you're not happy right now! The idea of him acting like a bf is supposed to act makes you happy, but you're obviously not happy with him now, so don't say things like you won't be happy without him. Since no matter what you're going to be unhappy, wouldn't you rather be unhappy WITHOUT him, so that you can get over him, move on with your life, and meet someone else? Your other option is to stick with this uncaring jerk, being unhappy and letting him treat you like crap, and preventing yourself from moving on and being happy in the future. Good luck with your operation. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Why nice guys finish last: Because women are stupid. Case in point? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I went to Amsterdam and didn't sleep with any prostitutes. It has some lovely parks. Link to post Share on other sites
Neutrino Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Mimsicles, this guy is treating you like crap - because you let him. If you ever had any leverage you lost it when you went back to him knowing he broke up with you to try it on with someone else.... Your message between the lines was : it is acceptable to you. What he's doing now is not surprising. I have no idea if you are European (or did he fly long distance for a couple of days ?) young tourists in Amsterdam are normally there for ganja, mushrooms, strip-clubs and hookers. If for nothing else but your health - please do NOT exchange any body fluids with him ever again.... Link to post Share on other sites
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