Champagne727 Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 Help, I'm so confused. I met a man last year January, it was love at first sight. I found him very intriguing. Anyway, I stopped dating anyone else as I wanted to give him my undivided attention emotionally and physically. I was 35 yrs old he was 28 at the time we met. I was very honest with him as far as me not dating. I never pressured him at all, I'm the go with the flow type. He told me during a phone conversation in March that he would "make me love him". The fact of the matter was I think I already did. However, my natural personality in a relationship is loyal, dedicated and sincere. In the beginning he would visit every other weekend. I had not met his family and vice versa. In June of 2002 he had to go away for 2 weeks for military duty, he called and said things are going to change he had been doing a lot of thinking. Along the way, he accidently met my parents and daughter (he was at my house and they all came by unexpectedly). Anyway, upon his return after two weeks he started coming by every weekend, we spent a lot more time together, cooking and laughing, go out, romance. It was wonderful! Although there was no mention between either of us that we are officially in a relationship, he did say fromt he beginning he wanted a wife and a family, not a girlfriend. In August 2002, things took a turn, he called saying he wanted to talk. Apparently, in March he started dating someone, off and on, more off than on. In august 2002 he found out this woman was pregnant with his child. He gave me a whole background on her from name to all of her life's goals. I was angry and hurt that he could be so sexually irresponsible and put my life in jeopardy in having unprotected sex. I wanted to have his children, I wanted to be his wife. Yet, I never thought once of leaving him because of his indiscreations. This is very complicated, he began making doctor visits with the mother to be. I told him I would stick with him as long as he included me. Well, he is very secretive, very protective of his family, we are from two very different backgrounds. I'm very carefree and open-minded, he's very protective and almost harsh in his thinking. In Novemeber he was called for military duty and he is now in Kuwait. He calls and sends email and letters as often as he can. I always tell him I love him but I hold alot of other feelings inside because I don't think I should burden him with emotion while he is away worried about living or dying. He never asked me to wait, but I'm waiting. It's been a long four months. This week he had to come home because of an emergency, they allowed him a week. During this week visit we spent a day together. I spoke to him everyday briefly. He went to the doctor with the mother to be on Friday before he left. He called and told me how things went at the doctors and asked for me to call him later that evening. I got home, called him, his cell phone rang but no answer, Saturday he called said he was running around and had to be at the airport @ 6pm. i called him back @ 1pm no answer on his cell I left a message, called his home, no answer left a message. Saturday around 7:30pm he calls asking if I had forgotten about him. he was at the airport headed back to Kuwait. I told him to have a safe trip. I still have not met his family and felt confused about waiting for him to return to me. The feelings are strong, my heart says yes and when I doubt our relationship somehow he calls or writes, he isn't very expressive but the times I hear from him are the times I really need to. Should I wait? Should I live and go with whatever happens? I'm hurting I guess from being taken for granted in love. I know this is all over the place, but any insight will help. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 Hell, no, you shouldn't wait. Exactly how much pain does he have to put on you before you get the picture. Go take a very cold shower and come back to your computer and read the rest of this post....I'll wait...go ahead....I'm not busy. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Ok, I hope you're shower was nice and you are wide awake. Now pay attention to what this a**h*** has done to you. 1. He was seeing somebody behind your back after you told him you would dedicate yourself ONLY to him. Not only was he seeing her but he was screwing her for five months and he got her pregnant. 2. He PUT YOUR LIFE IN JEOPARDY by carrying germs around on his penis from this other lady and bringing them to you. Had this other woman had any disease or, God forbid AIDS, you could have died. Does this sound like a guy who cares about you??? 3. During the seven days he was home, how much time did he spend with you??? One day....one day out of seven. And guess where he was the rest of the time. I won't even give you a hint on this one. 4. The man has NEVER asked you to be his one and only, has never told you that you were the girl of his dreams....unless, of course, he was lying...because if you were he wouldn't be studding around the countryside. 5. You've been seeing him for over a year and never met his family??? Well, how special. I'm sure the mama of his baby has. Isn't that nice? Just how much pain do you want to put yourself through??? Don't you think enough of yourself to want a guy who is going to treat you decently and not hurt you??? Please, this guy is a dirtbag. I don't care how much you love him, he is keeping you on a string simply so he can cheat with you just like he cheated with this girl he got pregnant. The guy's a worm. Do yourself and your future babies a favor and find a guy who is worthy of your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Champagne727 Posted March 17, 2003 Author Share Posted March 17, 2003 Those are the facts in the scheme of things. I guess reality thru my eyes is different then the reality of the facts I've been presented with thus far. I guess I knew the answer all along based on the facts. Signed No longer stuck on stupid! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 YOU SIGNED YOURSELF: "No longer stuck on stupid!" Don't worry....a lot of people stay stuck on stupid their entire lives. And I bid you a warm and hearty wecome to the world of reality!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 Tell him that you and your daughter will be there for him when he gets back and that you both love him terribly. Think about it, then he has a reason to come home and will fight for you and your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkroses Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Kat says to tell this guy you and your daughter love him terribly, blah, blah.... did she even read your post? Personally, I hate this guy so much I'd like to hear he was a casualty of war. Don't be lenient on him just because he's fighting for his country. It sounds like he's badly misusing those he's fighting for. Please, if not for your own sake, for your daughter's, don't welcome this cheating skunk back into your lives when he returns from duty. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by pinkroses Kat says to tell this guy you and your daughter love him terribly, blah, blah.... did she even read your post? Personally, I hate this guy so much I'd like to hear he was a casualty of war. Don't be lenient on him just because he's fighting for his country. It sounds like he's badly misusing those he's fighting for. Please, if not for your own sake, for your daughter's, don't welcome this cheating skunk back into your lives when he returns from duty. If she didn't feel something why did she post?? Link to post Share on other sites
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