lingering regrets

[white dove]

I need some advice. Please bare with me - I want to give you a little background first to help you understand my dilemma.

 

I met this guy at a friend's party a couple years ago. Unfortunately, this was a typical college party with a lot of drinking. I was not drunk, but I was feeling good (if that makes any sense). This particular guy was very much intoxicated and was hanging all over me and saying things like "I love you" - even though this was the first time we met. We both stayed at this friend's house (in different rooms). The next morning he was still feeling good and was wondering where I was. He didn't even remember my name!

 

A few months after this party I met him again. He did remember me this time. A few days later, he called me and asked me out on a date. We saw each other a few times after the date, and he was interested in a more serious relationship. I decided to give him a chance. And now we have been seeing each other for over two years! There has even been some talk of marriage.

 

Unfortunately I can't seem to forget the way that we first met. That night at the friend's party was not exactly one of my proudest moments. I now so many people that have great stories about how they met their fiance/husband/wife... I must admit that my story is one that I never would want to tell my future children. I just wish I had better memories of the beginning of our relationship.

 

So I guess I am just looking for some kind of advice that could possibly help me look past these regrets and help me enjoy the relationship that I have with him now. I just don't like the idea of having to lie to inquiring minds about how we first met.

[Tony T]

When you eat a steak, do you regret it because it began as a cow in a field chewing grass under a tree....or how about when you eat bacon or sausage???

 

If you don't control your brain, nobody else can do that for you. Just forget the first meeting...that doesn't count because he doesn't even remember it. Consider the first time you met him as the time when he recognized you and asked you out.

 

If that doesn't work, explain this problem to him and schedule and ENTIRELY NEW first meeting. Set it all up so you go alone and meet him at a cafe downtown and pretend you have no idea who he is. You can be sitting by yourself and when he comes in, he can come to your table...ask if he can sit down with you. And the two of you can get to know each other for the very first time. (Just don't go to a place that sells beer or liquor and make sure he has nothing to drink.)

 

There are many, many people who have strange, unfortunate, or adverse first meetings but the relationships blossom into great things. Remember, the Japanese once attacked us and we bomb the hell out of them with two of the worst nuclear weapons in history....and now we are great allies.

 

Hey, you gotta get over this. You have love here and that's really hard to find. You've got to get used to the fact that life is given in dose that you DO NOT prescribe. It happens the way it happens. You make the best of it.

 

Don't give yourself head trips over the way things happen, especially if things end up wonderful as they have in your case.

 

Congratulations.

[white dove]

Thank you for your advice.

 

I guess I just needed to hear how silly I was for letting it bother me.