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I find it hard to understand people and people always misunderstood me.

How can I improve my communication and social skills? How should I behave that I can be more attractive or at least not having so many misunderstandings? Thanks if you can help.

(Are there any such books about social skills or communications?) :confused:

Or maybe only you can help! Thanks!

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There are probably schools in your community where foreign students and other persons learn English. There you can learn language skills and means for understanding others and communicating your own ideas.

 

You also need to interact a lot with people. If they misunderstand you, that's there problem. If they don't understand that you are from another culture, then it's is their fault. People who are kind and decent will take the time to make sure you understand what they say and they understand what you say. It takes some time so be patient with yourself.

 

Every culture has certain phrases and words that have many meanings. You will learn these as time goes on but you have to be around people and take risks. Just talk slowly and think before you speak...and try to explain yourself. Nice people will correct you and help you say things properly when you make a mistake.

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HokeyReligions

You say you have a hard time being understood, and understanding others. Is it a language problem? Do you mean that you don't understand the words themselves, or that you don't understand what people mean? Or do you feel that people don't understand the words you are saying and misinterpret what you mean? Tony's response I think addresses that. If its a matter of not getting your meaning across or understanding what others mean one thing you can do is to improve your listening skills.

 

When you are talking with someone, listen to what they say, then repeat it back to them in YOUR own words. This shows that you are really listening and making an effort to understand. If you have misunderstood their meaning, then they will correct you. A lot of people tend to pick up this behavior in a conversation so that the other person will repeat back to you what you said, but they will rephrase it in their own words. If it's not what you meant you can correct them.

 

If it's done in a casual manner, asking questions, it is a good communication tool.

 

Once you have understood what the other person has said (and vice versa) you can both continue the conversation with other topics.

 

Some things take lots of explanation, most things in casual conversations are understood right away.

 

This is a very good technique in relationships and for serious conversations. Great at work too - the boss always knows that I understand him and will ask questions if I'm unsure of something.

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