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boyfriend's mom introduces me as his "friend"


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My boyfriend's mom is really nice to me, trouble is she still treats me as a good friend of her son's. Her son and I have been boyfriend and girlfriend for three years now. Yet, she still introduces me as his "friend." She says it in a way like we are friends with benefits. I always correct her right away and say girlfriend. I just don't get why she keeps introducing me as his "friend." Any thoughts? :confused::(

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amaysngrace

That's her baby boy and she doesn't think you are good enough for her son.

 

It's pretty typical.

 

She's doing it to piss you off so stop letting it bother you. She's got a problem.

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Hi amaysngrace,

 

Yes. He is her baby boy. She doesn't say it to piss me off though. She says it in a way like she can't get the word girlfriend out of her mouth. I guess she can't let go of her 48-year old baby boy. People give her the look when she does it. So it's really not in her best interest to do so.

 

The problem is that I really think her not being able to let go is the reason my boyfriend is so scared of marriage and has never been married before.

 

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to have to wait until she dies for my boyfriend and I to get married, but the way things are going that's what is going to happen.

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She doesn't say it to piss me off though. She says it in a way like she can't get the word girlfriend out of her mouth. I guess she can't let go of her 48-year old baby boy.

 

Its probably because using the words "boy" and "girl" when referring to people in their 40s...just doesnt feel or sound right.

 

Simple at that.

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Hi 2sure,

 

I don't think it's an age thing. I guess I should explain more.

 

Not long after my boyfriend and I became boyfriend and girlfriend, his parents had their 50th year anniversary. Someone came up to me at the party and asked if I was her son's girlfriend, and I said yes. His mom then said, "He can't have a girlfriend now, not when his daughter has just popped back into his life." (He has a daughter from a previous girlfriend who he hadn't seen. He was scared to. After he told me about it, I helped convince him that he should see his daughter, which he did. He has been seeing her every two weeks ever since.) That was more than two years ago. What does his having a daughter "pop back into his life" have to do with his and my relationship, especially when his mom doesn't even like the ex-girlfriend? BTW, his ex-girlfriend, daughter, and I get along. I'm the only one who likes his ex-girlfriend. My boyfriend had a short relationship with her which he tried to end a couple of times before she got pregnant. He has no interest in her.

 

I really don't know what to do. The only thing that is preventing my boyfriend from marrying me is his fears, and I don't know exactly what it is that he is afraid of. He doesn't know either. But I sense it has something to do with his mother and her fears, whatever they are.

 

Doesn't she want her son to be happily married like she is? Or is she being selfish and thinking only of herself and of losing control over her son? I kind of think that is what it is all about, control. The reason they all don't like his ex-girlfriend is that she is very controlling.

 

What should I do?

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