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So....There's this young lady


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Lakers5peat09

I didn't really know where to post this, so I guess I'm going with here.

 

First off, a little about me. I'm in my low 20s, working part time and recently took a small break from school. I am planning to go back this fall. I'm not the most attractive guy in the world, but I tend to get compliments. I'm a little shy. I also like to consider myself fairly intelligent. I hate taking no for an answer too. You may be asking yourself why this is relevant? Well, I know how females are constantly into how a guy is. What he's doing. Does he have direction? Things like that, are often very important to women. Because ultimately, ladies want a mate and a person who makes them feel secure. Anyways, enough about me, let's get to her and what's happened (or not happened).

 

I met this 19 year old girl in a chat room back in July. We hit it off right away, we playfully flirted in chats and instant messages. We knew we were going to meet in August at a gaming convention. We were both pretty excited about it. She even sent me a text while I was on vacation just a couple weeks after she started talking to me online, asking how my trip was going. She was sincere and I enjoyed talking to her. We were just internet buddies at the time.

 

August came along. During this time I found out that she had messed around with another guy in late June/early July, but only once since they had met in June and then he flew out to see her in July. She thought of him as her boyfriend and when he didn't show anymore interest after "getting with her" she was clearly heart broken.

 

When I first landed to my destination, literally minutes after I recieved a text from her with her hotel room number. She was staying with a bunch of other people. I ignored it because I had just got there and it was pretty late. I chose to just catch up with my friends rather than venture on a mile walk to her hotel at midnight. She also tried calling me shortly after. And I didn't pick up. Now I know how girls love a challenge, so she probably got even more excited about this.

 

We met the next morning. She was cuter than I thought she would be after seeing pictures. Anyways. Let's speed this up. The next day comes and I recieve a text from her basically saying that she wants me to come and hang out with her and her friends. So, I go over there with a couple of mine. We arrive and there's lots of boos everywhere. I'm not much of a drinker, but I don't mind others. So, she starts drinking a bit. She obviously doesn't have a very high tolerance, either. By the time games have started, she's clearly buzzed. I was just watching the game when she starts losing and has to drink a bunch. She comes over and begs me to drink for her. She gives me a couple hugs to do it. Real hugs, too, not that fake crap. So, I do it.

 

After the drinking is over, me and my friends decide we should go back to the hotel. She and her friends want to walk us back. Before we even get on the elevator to go down to the lobby, she starts holding my hand. On the whole walk back, she holds my hand and locks her head with mine and stuff. She even says I'm really cute and nice, etc. By the time we get back to my room, she is begging me not to leave. I tell her good night and give her a hug. As I'm trying to sleep, I get a number of text messages from her, containing things such as "please come cuddle with me now". I kind of thought she liked me. I mean, I have been told before that drunk words are sober thoughts.

 

Anyways, next day comes and she hardly talks to me. Seems to be in a pretty lame mood. Probably from the drinking. I try to iniate conversations to no avail. We go out to dinner with a bunch of our friends and she gets mad at someone and calls them names at the table. Later that night there is more drinking going on and she basically ignores me all night and starts hanging around this other guy. Later that night she violently punches the guy I first mentioned she met in June in the face. Starts yelling at him saying stuff like "You don't want me and that's what makes me want you so bad." I come to find out during this night she also told some of her other friends (including that guy she hooked up with) that she has me "wrapped around her finger". Clearly this was to try to make him jealous so he would take her back.

 

Bottom line, I don't even get to say goodbye to her. We chat online afterwards and everything is back to normal for awhile. Until we get in this stupid argument over me asking about something and she's like "don't be nosy." Then she goes nuts on me and starts saying stuff like "I've only always thought of you as a friend", blah blah. I call her out on her teasing me and crap from before and she denies it all and clearly lies.

 

We start talking again. Things are fine. She said she was thinking of coming to a place close to me for one of her dacing competitions. Now, I was fairly close so I suggested that we meet up for a day and hang out. I guess she took this the wrong way because she came up with the excuse that she "didn't have any time". I come to find out from someone else that she thought I was being insensitive by wanting to see her and not go visit one of my friends (I could have easily done both) ha! That trip ends up not happening.

 

It's now October and she suggests I come see her sometime and we can go to some events. Keep in mind, she's like 1000 miles away from me, too. I don't end up going. I was busy with school and such.

 

November comes along and we start talking about our plans for break. She says she wants to come here. I didn't think she was actually serious about it until she mentioned it again a week later and started asking questions. I tell her that I won't be at my own place during the time she is thinking of coming and I could probably only accomodate someone I know and trust. She says it could just be her that would come. So, she plans a date to come and says she is going with another guy (friend). I tell her I can't do it because I don't know him and it's not entirely my place to let someone I don't know stay. I get nothing as far as a response from her until I ask her about it and she says she's probably not coming. It's cool, right? We'll just see each other months later or something for something else. No big deal. We were cool with it.

 

The next month, we're talking about break plans again and she mentions something about a huge dance thing during New Years out here. She knows I'm going to be very close (less than an hour away). The second time she mentions it, I ask her if she wants to spend a day with me, go out to lunch/dinner, etc. She accepts. Says she needs to check her calendar and will get back to me with details. The trip never happens. I don't find out she's not going until she's back at her parents for break and I ask her about it a week before it's supposed to happen. Kind of rude.

 

January comes along and she's back for school (like 12 hour drive away). A friend of mine who lives about a few hours away says he's going to go to visit her and play in some events with her. I ask him if I can go, as it'll be fun and I felt like getting out of here. So, we meet up and then drive out to see her. We're staying a few days at her house with her roommates, too.

 

Things are going fine and we're talking and stuff like old times. I'm really tired when we all go out bowling so I was kind of in a quiet mood. After that, we had two days left. Nothing had happened between us, bad or good. We're hanging out, hardly anyone around the next day and I put my arm around her. She doesn't tell me no or anything, so I figure I'm good. We then bump heads and say hi to each other in what I thought was a really cute moment. Nothing else happens that day.

 

Our last day there, she has to take her dog out back so it can do its business. But, she's afraid of the zombies outside. My friend says, oh he'll go outside with you. So I do. It's just the two of us and her dog out in her backyard, nobody watching, under the stars. Perfect moment, right? I can't seem to get a conversation going with her, though. Just small talk. I don't make a move on her. Later that night, I'm sitting on the couch and she comes over and sits next to me as we're all watching a movie. She stretches her legs out on me. I go to lean in on her and she says no and then gets up, causes a scene and goes to another chair. What the F. So, I get up and go to another room. Saying I'm sorry.

 

We leave the next day and we hug goodbye. That's the last time I saw her. Ever since, our conversations haven't been the same. There is something missing. We did talk on the phone a few times but I don't feel any connection. We used to talk all the time online. Things got even weirder after that same friend and I were hanging out and her (girl I like) were playfully texting back and forth. She said something like "he's still the champion of my heart" and I replied with "I thought we had something". We were just messing around but I guess she took it to heart. She didn't text me anymore then tells my friend to call her via text before he goes to bed. They obviously were talking about me (as he admits to me later). He tells me that she has no interest in me and I should stop talking to her because it's hopeless.

 

Her and I don't talk again for almost two weeks. I shoot her a text message asking what's up. We have a little small talk then she says she's going to bed. We have some little on and off talk until one day while she's at work we have a 90 minute conversation online. The longest in a long time. We were messing around, laughing, joking, etc. Great talk. Then we don't talk for days again. I finally get fed up with the situation and call her out on everything. She responds by telling me she's "never given me a reason to believe that we could be more than friends" and then blocks me. This was over a week ago now.

 

She's a great girl who clearly has some emotional baggage. According to friends she doesn't like me more than a friend because I "try too hard" and am "too into her". For the record, I hardly ever called her, I don't leave messages on her facebook or voice mail, text, etc. I'm not a stalker. I don't try too hard, either. It's not like I went to see her by myself. I like her for who she is, not just her body. It just frustates me to no end how females always want a stupid challenge.

 

So, I ask you people, what should I do? Oh, and sorry for this being so long. I'm a writer.

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heartonsleeve123

I'm going to be honest and straight forward. I think you need to forget about her and just move on. It seems like she talks to you when it's convenient for her. She probably just likes the idea of having someone, but then the minute you show interest she gets bored and moves on. Is that someone you really want in your life? Nobody deserves to go through that kind of stuff, and if she's already like this now and you two have never really dated, then I can't imagine what she'll be like later down the road. Best of luck with this!

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Lakers5peat09

Thanks for an honest answer. I have been told that by some others, pretty much verbatim. Definitely not easy to forget about her, but nobody said it would be easy. I just wish there was some other solution.

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The Collector

You never made a move. You rejected her advances when she was clearly offering herself to you, many times. She felt stupid, so denied she ever did, and relays incorrect info about you to her friends to make you look bad/her good.

 

It doesn't seem worth worrying about now anyway. It's possibly too late, she lives miles away and thinks its ok to invite other guys to stay at your place and also hits people in the head (did I read both those right?).

 

So forget her, and next time don't wait for the perfect moment or find excuses not to advance things sexually with a girl you like when she is offering, or she may not make things so easy again. OIr if you do like her, don't worry too much about proving how much you 'like her for her mind, not just her body.' Or she will think there is something wrong with that body. It's ok to find women sexually attractive.

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Lakers5peat09

Thanks for the post. So, you disagree with the above poster? I'm not sure that I agree with you. I "rejected her advances" once.....When I was around a bunch of friends and she was intoxicated. The other times, she got all weird when I did show some interest. I'm not sure that qualifies as me not making a move. She's also only been with a few guys, making this seem even more unlikely to me.

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