HokeyReligions Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 I participated in a discusson about happiness on another board and I've seen some questions and responses here that makes me think this would be a good topic for discussion. I've seen responses saying things like "life is too short so end the relationship and find happiness" or "If you are not happy with her/him, then find someone else" and many responses give no heed to working on a relationship. I'm not saying all or even most posts - but enough of them sound this way that I thought I'd post this question. I get the impression that a lot of people believe that happiness is something that can be found and requires little or no effort. I believe that happiness is something that is achieved - with hard work. If I had believed otherwise I would be divorced now - still searching for something that (in my opinion) doesn't exist on its own. What do you think happiness is? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 Happiness isn't an easy thing to have...or get. The thing is with relationships....is this...I'll give a personal story. I decided that I wasn't happy in my marriage, and I should probably leave. I asked him to go to counseling with me, and he never would...til I packed my stuff up. We talked, I stayed, and we went to counseling. I fell in love with my husband again...and knew we could make it and get through anything. But the thing was...he didn't want to...and we divorced. I try not to tell people to leave. God knows, I've been with the same jerk for a year and a half, and haven't given up on him yet... The thing is, you can't do it alone in a relationship. If the other party doesn't want change, and doesn't want to work, it won't work. You are very fortunate that your husband was as willing to work, as you were. Its easier to get happiness within, bc you are only working with yourself. But its still all a matter of guidence and desire...same as in a relationship. I've learned that your life will FLY downhill if you let it. You have to take charge of yourself and your life, to find happiness. And I'm getting closer to it every day. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it from the outside, but only you get that warm fuzzy feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 I thought happiness was a warm puppy! Still, I wonder if we over-use or misapply that particular word, "happy." To me, the word "content" or "satisfied" has more of a long-term application, whereas "happiness" is more relative a term. Link to post Share on other sites
Grand76 Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 I agree with quankanne. At the basic level, it's a matter of word choice. However, I'd be "happy" because "the date went well." But I'd like to be "deeply satisfied" with a relationship. There's a switch somewhere in the gray cells that makes me say "mmm..." on the cerebral level. It's something like what your body feels after a good massage: complete comfort and full relaxation a/k/a "warm fuzzy feeling." When you hit it, you'll know what I'm talking about. I think it would imply an emotional and intellectual connection. From that perspective, it would be possible to know whether "that kind of happiness" can be achieved from the topic of conversations between two people. If they are not too far apart, it'll take work to realize and fulfill, but if the topics are on hair and make-up on one end and doctoral dissertation on the other, "satisfaction" is almost unreachable. It may be an extreme example, but it's from real life... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 I'm totally and absolutely ecstatic that my mother and father lived on earth at the same time, that my own out of my dad's millions of sperm fertilized my own egg out of my mothers dozens and dozens. The chances of all that coming together and therefore of my ever being born were one in billions. Having had the extreme luxury of the gift of a few moments of consciousness in this thing we call life, I am eternally grateful for the opportunity of facing pain, hurt, joy, contentment, embarassment, success, failure...or whatever I have to experience. I am just so happy I was born I can't even consider being unhappy in the short time I have here no matter what may come my way. People who waste time wallowing in their misery curse the forces who gave them this precious gift of life. There are trillions of sperms and eggs that never meet each other, that go to waste...humans who never see the light of day....will will never experience anything. I weap for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Grand76 Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 I agree wholeheartedly with you Tony. The odds of any of this happening are indeed phenomenal. The example I gave was not my experience. I've learned to encourage communication and not leave things unsaid. Those things tend to pile up and are difficult to deal with when they unravel at the same time. I know what I like and I know who I am looking for. They are not lofty criteria. However, I do believe that I am able to recognize who I like when I meet and get to know them. Link to post Share on other sites
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