I don't grasp the concept of "spirit" - will someone explain?

[Sheba]

Our marriage counsellor and my husband had a big discussion about loving another person's spirit. They seemed to understand each other. I don't get it, however.

 

The concept was raised in the context of a discussing how people are not simply attracted to outer beauty. The counsellor asked my husband how he felt about my "beautiful spirit" and off they went, while I struggled with trying to figure out what was meant. I know they don't mean the religious concept, but they were using "soul" interchangably with "spirit".

 

I would be grateful if someone could help me understand.

 

Do they mean a person's main character traits? Kindness and sympathy, for example? Or is it more specific - my husband loves his children deeply, for example, but not so much his fellow man. Do they mean a person's core morals and personal standards? Is this "spirit" something presumed from a person's behaviour?

 

I feel rather literal and obtuse for having difficulty grasping what is meant and am hoping for help from the wise folks here.

[Lizzie60]

I would say that it is the 'essence' of a human being... It is their moral, their thoughts, their emotions, I guess it would be everything that is not physical...

[halfarock]

Your spirit is that part of you that can't really be put into words. That something about you. There is no clear definition.

[Sheba]

Your spirit is that part of you that can't really be put into words. That something about you. There is no clear definition.

 

See, this is what I was afraid of. I am too literal, I guess. I need some sort of parameters. I feel like I am missing out on something that other people "get".

 

Lizzie, thank you for attempting an answer. Some people I know have physical appeal, others intellectual appeal. And there are those who lack both physical beauty and brains, but are still very appealing. Maybe those are the ones with the most "beautiful spirits"? There are also people who I have met who I dislike without being able to point at a reason - perhaps that is some unappealing aspect of their spirit that is turning me off?

 

I better check Wikipedia.

[Storyrider]

The spirit is the core identity. You can't really list traits that make it up. Do you ever dream about someone, dead or alive, and in the dream you feel that person close to you, you sense their energy, and it is most definite and specific and warm? That is what is meant by their spirit. Their "essence" as someone said above.

[dropdeadlegs]

A person's spirit is somewhat undefinable because it differs from person to person.

 

Think of terms like "free spirit" and try to define it. Wouldn't it depend on the person, and also on the person using the term?

 

I tend to think of one's spirit as being their positive traits, but I suppose it could be defined by negative traits as well. Not to mention you could also define a spirit as being ghostly, or even alcoholic.

 

Maybe the best way to determine it's meaning in your case would be to ask your husband or your counselor their definition of your spirit. I'm guessing they would have closely related definitions based on their personal interactions with you.

 

I do think it comprises one's main traits, as well as their specific traits, as noted in your OP. That is what makes each person's spirit unique.

[amaysngrace]

I think spirit is the vibe you throw.

[katiebour]

In a non-religious context such as counseling, I would define spirit as:

 

Intellect

Charisma

Likes/Dislikes

Quirks

Morals

Sense of Humor

Attitude

Experiences

 

If my physical body died tomorrow and I didn't get another one a la reincarnation, these are the traits that I would hope would band together into the "me" that was left and embark on the next great metaphysical frontier, whatever it may be. That is what I would hopefully define as a soul.

 

Honestly I'm not sure if there is such a thing separate from the physical body. But to me those are the indefinite traits that make up who you are apart from your body.

[Storyrider]

There is also the concept of "breaking someone's spirit" and the saying that "the spirit can rise above oppression" which implies it is something essential to human worth, wholeness, and dignity. One thinks of the slaves in the American South and how attempts were made to break their spirit so that they wouldn't run away.

 

It makes me think the concept of spirit is closely linked with free will, individuality, and again, as I said above, human dignity.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I'm not a huge fan of obtuse philosophy - I tried all that, and it seemed like endless rhetoric to me. So I'm with you, Sheba, on the need to pin it down to a few tangibles.

 

 

In my simple definition, in the context of this thread, "spirit" means who a person really is. More specifically, how he or she behaves under various circumstances.

 

How a person reacts, given different life situations, is a good indicator of his or her basic constitution.

 

So when you say you "love someone's spirit", you're essentially saying that you love what that person is made of - something you can see from their everyday behavior.

[lindya]

I think of a person's spirit as being the book inside them. Their story.

[Sheba]

Thank you all for relating what this concept means to you. It is helpful. I am trying to apply this concept to my husband - it seems impossible to try to apply it to myself, perhaps I am too self estranged?

 

TTSP's explanation with reference to typical behaviour is helpful, and it makes sense to me that that behaviour is based on one's history (per lindya) and could be broken down to one's essential personality traits as katie, ddl and Lizzie said. And I wonder if it is difficult to define, as halfarock, Story and grace point out because it is so very individual - more unique even than DNA - and perhaps impossible to know completely. The part of a person that can never be replicated, such that each person is intrinsicly valuable. Their humanity.

 

Am I close?

[Herzen]

Spirit can be viewed in the first and third person. I define my spirit as the sum of all my attributes, traits, character and experiences that make me "me." Spirit is indissolubly bound-up in the sense or feeling of one's self. Spirit is one's own identity experienced on a daily basis. It's also a word that tells us how we feel about ourselves: a barometer of self-image.

 

From a third person perspective, spirit is my sense of another's performance in the world. It's my sense of another's mood, temperament and personality traits and vital energy : high spirited, or low spirited for example.

 

It can be defined as how a person appears to feel at the moment--low spirits/feeling down--or existentially--those enduring social elements that make John Doe "John Doe" in my eyes.

 

Funny, while I often hear people say that they like someone's spirit, I almost never hear the converse: I dislike that person's spirit. Perhaps spirit is simply shorthand for those complex of factors that make us like or respect a particular person.

[norajane]

I think of spirit as the overall mood or vibe or energy a person gives off. Not their mood on a day to day basis, but the mood or tenor or flavor they evoke when you think of them.

 

Is he the kind of person who always livens up a room? is there a calm strength about him that makes you feel comfortable? is there a constant, underlying tension in him? a bustling energy? a depressed, down, negative thinking feel to him? an optimistic vibe? adventurous? staid and practical?