marlena Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 that serial daters are bad lovers? They wile you with their much honed charms and then when the time comes to display their charms in bed, they fail miserably? Do they make the worst lovers? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 no that hasn't been my experience MARLENA....its hard to predict who will be a bad lover and a good lover. Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 no that hasn't been my experience MARLENA....its hard to predict who will be a bad lover and a good lover. Your response made me laugh, ALPHAMALE. Link to post Share on other sites
hagi990 Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 I believe a good lover is one who takes no preconceptions to the bedroom. If the last girl hated her nipples being touch, this girl may love. Talking about what was good and bad also makes for the sex to get better and better. I am not a serial dater but do seem to have a few long term girlfriends but am unable to date more then one girl at a time, just doesn't seem right to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 IME, a guy who's had at least one long-term relationship with a woman who didn't have any sexual boundaries is bound to be a much better lover than a dude who pulls a ton of random a$$. Being great in bed is not only about experience (quantity of sex and all its lovely varities), but great communication, comfort, and the ability to read your partner's reactions to what's a-happenin'. It's really difficult to develop these skills if you're literally hopping from one bed to another...you need someone (as in one person) to practice with. Only then can you take those skills and bounce from one bed to the next and be any good. Link to post Share on other sites
Herzen Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 IME, a guy who's had at least one long-term relationship with a woman who didn't have any sexual boundaries is bound to be a much better lover than a dude who pulls a ton of random a$$. Being great in bed is not only about experience (quantity of sex and all its lovely varities), but great communication, comfort, and the ability to read your partner's reactions to what's a-happenin'. It's really difficult to develop these skills if you're literally hopping from one bed to another...you need someone (as in one person) to practice with. Only then can you take those skills and bounce from one bed to the next and be any good. I agree wholeheartedly with SG. If you serially date, you never find your comfort zone with that person before you move on to the next. One cannot become a proficient lover flitting from partner to partner. For about a year, I've dated a woman who, in SG's classic phrase, lacks "sexual boundaries." Has that made me a better lover? You bet. I won't even get into the fun factor. As for serial daters, teenagers and twenty--somethings are one thing. Forty and fifty-somethings are a different kettle of fish entirely. It's unseemly to watch some 55 year old dude sporting a dork nob, brown leather jacket and 'tude. I hope your question means you're getting back into the dating game. If so, welcome back! Link to post Share on other sites
halfarock Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 IME, a guy who's had at least one long-term relationship with a woman who didn't have any sexual boundaries is bound to be a much better lover than a dude who pulls a ton of random a$$. Being great in bed is not only about experience (quantity of sex and all its lovely varities), but great communication, comfort, and the ability to read your partner's reactions to what's a-happenin'. It's really difficult to develop these skills if you're literally hopping from one bed to another...you need someone (as in one person) to practice with. Only then can you take those skills and bounce from one bed to the next and be any good. But can’t you develop these skills with more than one partner? I agree that you can only get better by continuing on with a particular person who you are very comfortable with. But at the same time can’t there be more than one particular person? What if you’re bouncing from bed to bed but there are only 2 or 3 or so beds that you are bouncing between? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 that serial daters are bad lovers? They wile you with their much honed charms and then when the time comes to display their charms in bed, they fail miserably? Do they make the worst lovers? I don't think it has anything to do with serial daters. I have met tons of men... some were amazing lover... others suck. What make a guy a good lover... I think it's the 'attention' he gives to his partner... he takes his time... lots and lots of foreplay... he makes sure his partner is satisfied... he knows how to use his 'equipment' LOL...and he takes care of himself... he is squeaky clean, smells good, fresh breath... Link to post Share on other sites
Herzen Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 I don't think it has anything to do with serial daters. I have met tons of men... some were amazing lover... others suck. What make a guy a good lover... I think it's the 'attention' he gives to his partner... he takes his time... lots and lots of foreplay... he makes sure his partner is satisfied... he knows how to use his 'equipment' LOL...and he takes care of himself... he is squeaky clean, smells good, fresh breath... All good points--sometimes a little deodorant and mouthwash go a long way. Hygiene, baby. Seriously, the best lovers for me have been the most sexually active women. These GREAT women have the killer combo of breadth of experience and lack of inhibition. Once, you've slept with these "alpha" women it's very difficult to return to Kansas. No more Vanilla. Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Maybe they are "serial daters" because they are lousy lovers so they don't get the chance to date a woman more than a few times! Anyhow, I've just realized that I have never gone out with (or slept with) on of these "serial daters", so I don't know the answer. It's just a theory. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 "Maybe they are "serial daters" because they are lousy lovers so they don't get the chance to date a woman more than a few times!" That's what I'm getting at. Are they serial daters because they are lousy lovers? This could be an explanantion. The man I was dating (very handsome and boy could he turn the charm on!) was a lousy lover - impotent really - and just cared about himself. His words to me were,"Once a woman has me figured out , meaning that he is a liar and cheat and impotent too boot!) I then move on to the next. You know me know! How sickening!!! And pathetic too, wouldn't you say? Even more pathetically, of course, I fell for the whole thing Cassanonva thing,hook, line and sinker! I can't forgive myself for that. I even feel dirty for having been with this sleazeball. What kind of man carries tons of little water bottles in his car and a box of tissues on the floor behind the front seat? Convenient, huh? That's all he good get off on. HJs! Sheesh, I'll try not to vomit again! My best lovers were men who had been in long term relationships. They knew how to cater to a woman's needs. Just wondering if there is any research to corroborate my theory Polywog, how have you been doing lately? Are things better for you? I surely hope you are doing better than I am. Hugs to all of you !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 Stargazer, I couldn't agree more! My lack of inhibition was what he feared most. He Thanks. Herzen, you know already. That's why he never wanted to get into that comfort zone because of his as you once put it "emabarassingly small b****" (a still assert that he had none whatsover)! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 Herzen, No, I don't think I'll be doing any date any time soon. Unless of course it's with you!!! Good idea or bad? What's yr take on it? Link to post Share on other sites
Herzen Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Thank-you, Marlena, you're too kind. Perhaps if we shared the same continent, but I suspect we do not. As for diving back in, why not! You're an attractive, vibrant woman in her sexual prime.While long breaks make sense for 20-somethings, they don't in our case. You have much to share, woman. As long as a fire rages below, at least make attempts to connect. Avoid a long freeze, and whatever you do: Avoid "The Player with the Tiny Testicles." No relapses!!! Best of fortune in whatever you decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 "As for diving back in, why not! You're an attractive, vibrant woman in her sexual prime.While long breaks make sense for 20-somethings, they don't in our case". Thanks Herzen, you are soooooooo sweet! In some ways, you are right of course, the sands do seem to be running out and time is of the essence. BUT I just feel too bruised at this point to throw myself out there again. I had been dating for two years before this last charade of a relationship. But the blazing fire "down there" as you say just might get me into more trouble. Though I hope I had some sense knocked into me. Avoid "The Player with the Tiny Testicles." No relapses!!! Ha- ha , that gave me a good laugh!!! Let someone else point a finger down there and laugh!!! He has some b****, hasn't he? Must give him so credit for something!! Kisses, Herzen. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 breadth of experience :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Herzen Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 :lmao: Ha, ha. "Breadth of experience" reads like a resume cliche. But doesn't this very Thread analogize nicely with employment issues. Marlena, the "employer", is unwilling to "hire" an applicant with a checkered "employment" history: too many lovers/dates=too many jobs. Which leads me to speculate about a "relationship resume" where the dating applicant lists his or her prior experience(s) including significant relationships, etc. Just think of the potential for resume fraud! But then you can demand references. Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Hiya marlena, I'm doing so-so. At least I am not dating, so I avoid the dudes with the tiny testicles and the serial daters (next worse thing to serial killers?). Anyhow, you deserve a break from these freaks, and I hope you get it soon, girlfriend! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 Polywog, How I wish you weren't feeling just " so -so "! I would so much rather you were feeling like you just won the lottery ticket or somethng! But even "so -so" is Ok considering the muck we've been trying to extricate ourselves from . We'll be OK!! You know why - because we're great people!!!! Yes, I tend to agree I need a rest from these freaks/social misfits or whatever the hell they are! They really know how to suck one's energy, don't they? I' m still working on my esteem issues - you know the ones I'm talking about - when somebody worthless tries to devaluate you and bring you down to their base level. But then I think to myself - well, girl, you're not perfect either - so I start to examine the possibilities of where I fumbled up - which of course seen in the wrong light can just get me back to my low self - esteem issues if I don't store away something positive from thw whole experience. How are you doing in your new house? Hugs girlfriend dear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 Ha, ha. "Breadth of experience" reads like a resume cliche. But doesn't this very Thread analogize nicely with employment issues. Marlena, the "employer", is unwilling to "hire" an applicant with a checkered "employment" history: too many lovers/dates=too many jobs. Herzen, couldn't it possibly mean that the applicant has a wide range of experience that can be an asset to the employer? Like an experienced lover? Only serial daters are never that, are they? They're flakes! It's the men/women who have enjoyed LT relationships that are the best right? Might even explain why married lovers are so much in demand and so easy to fall in love with. Am I to gather from your post that you wouldn't date a woman who has had a wide array of lovers? Hmmmm!!!! Isn't that a bit sexist? Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Marlena -my experience with men who work so hard to make it apparent they consider themselves "knowledgeable", or " experienced" with women has normally, (in most cases) been so far off course you'd need a satellite tracker to steer them back (if you dare to think you can.) And it's so contrived, so staged. It's like a cheap paint-by-numbers watercolor set: blue goes on area #1, green goes on area #2, yellow goes on area #3, etc. (Smile) And if you look around his place, you'll probably find a *manual* or two lying somewhere. And other things: massage oils, the deluxe version of the sex swing chair (straight from Playboy, Inc. or Penthouse), a half-empty bottle of cheap white wine in his fridge, and some pheromone candles (half used) near the hot tub. (Stiffled laugh.) -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 And other things: massage oils, the deluxe version of the sex swing chair (straight from Playboy, Inc. or Penthouse), a half-empty bottle of cheap white wine in his fridge, and some pheromone candles (half used) near the hot tub. (Stiffled laugh.) Don't forget the "string" underwear! (LOL, big - time! Hope you can hear me)! Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 :laugh: Yeah, a lot of "serial" dater types never take the time to really connect with a woman. It can be all about superficial "technique." Really, any guy is amazing if simply aims to please and makes love with his WHOLE body, not just his mouth, hands and d*ck. You know what I mean? He connects completely with a woman -- that's his goal. We women can FEEL the difference. Serial daters a lot of times just seem to do what the last woman liked. No customization! I was briefly with a guy who told me that he was GREAT at oral before he ever had the chance to do it with me....yuck! turn off. I would rather a guy love giving oral BECAUSE it was with ME....anyway, I told the guy that maybe he did it the way his last girlfriend liked it, but that doesn't mean I'M going to like it. Geesh! Give me a guy who has been in longer term relationships -- or at least a few, and I'll see a guy who knows what it takes to please a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 "We women can FEEL the difference. Serial daters a lot of times just seem to do what the last woman liked. No customization"! Ha ha !!!! That's would explain thw wagging tongue!!! Yucks!! ? Link to post Share on other sites
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