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Ms Insecurity!


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So, I have a question. I am working on my insecurity before it COMPLETELY destroys my relationship. Besides me being insecure and sometimes expecting a bit too much we are great together and very in love. Our 2 year anniversary is in April.:)

 

Anywho...How do I not get jealous if my bf glances at other girls? See, he is in a band and sometimes he will look around the crowd. I tend to pay super close attention to this and my jealousy and insecurity starts up. Maybe once or twice in 2 years i have noticed him look back at a girl a couple times. Dont get me wrong...i have done it before too, maybe not when i was with him, but i have certainly looked. And I know men are visual.

 

First things first...should i be jealous...and main question how should i control jealousy in these situations?

 

Thanks for any help you may give.

 

Oh...and if you read the Kindred thread, please disregard my language towards him but MAN he ticked me off. Now i just pitty him though. :o

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So, you're asking what to do when he looks at other girls and you get jealous? If it's only happened once or twice in 2 years, how is this a big problem?

 

No, I don't think you need to be jealous if he looks around in a crowd. But if you are, there's really nothing you can do except to remind yourself that other women do exist, he will see them, but he always comes home to you. Short of poking his eyes out, there's no way he's going to never see another woman.

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Short of poking his eyes out, there's no way he's going to never see another woman.

 

Hmm... *rubs his chin* Now I know what to do...

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RecordProducer
First things first...should i be jealous...and main question how should i control jealousy in these situations?

Jealousy is a very animalistic and instinctive feature so it's pointless to tell you whether you should or shouldn't be jealous. You either are or aren't.

 

If he stares and drools, let him know that you don't want it done in front of your eyes. My husband looks at people, but he looks at men, grandmas, grandpas, kids, cars, everything. I stopped paying attention to what he is staring at with such great attention. I told him before that I can't watch him drool over other women and that behavior must disappear. It took a while, but now he turns his head away from any girls. :laugh: Well it's not like he is missing a lot. :rolleyes:

 

How to overcome the jealousy? Sometimes I get jealous when he mentions that he was at a certain place and I know it was with his ex. It hurts me, but I tell myself quickly that he is now with me and loves me and he had a past so what? I just erase it with a mental eraser. :) In any case I make sure we move to the next subject ASAP. :D

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Poke his eyes out! Great idea!!! No, it's just really hard being with a guy in a band and trying to battle insecurity at the same time. He doesnt do this often at all, but when I do go to shows I find myself watching closely and if his eyes go back to the same area I check and see what is there, who is there etc. I just need to stop playing such close attention to him and it when he is playing. A lot of the time his eyes end up in my direction.

 

Record Producer- That is a good idea with the whole subject change stuff. Sometimes things will come up and I know he did them with one of his ex's and he doesnt know it but it bugs me. He doesnt say who he went with, he genuienly just wants to tell me about a vacation or something, but I know. I think i have let him go into detail about certain things but i should just change the subject.

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