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B/F didn't invite me to Thanksgiving!


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Old 21st November 2006, 2:21 PM   #1
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B/F didn't invite me to Thanksgiving!

My boyfriend did not invite me to spend Thanksgiving with him. It really hurt my feelings. I mean I used to always spend all the holidays with all of my exes. This is the second thanksgiving that we are spending apart.

My family does not even like him that much, and they still invited him to spend Thanksgiving together.

His family lives 2 hours away from my family but still I didn't even get an invite. He says his family is not all into holidays and they are not even having dinner, and that they are just not like that.

He said his brother is coming into town from out of state and that he wants to have some time with his brother and he doesnt want him or me to feel like the third wheel.

My mom thinks that all of these are poor excuses, and to tell you the truth I rather probably not go, because I am not close to his family and it would feel wierd anyway, but I just don't like the fact that he didn't even invite me.

He keeps on saying its just a day... blah blah blah

Do you think I should be furious, or do you think I should just let it go?? Is it worth ending a relationship over???

I mean his parents just don't get involved in their childrens lives as far as relationships go, they never have. But I still think thats not a good excuse. Please help!!

Last edited by Isabella82; 21st November 2006 at 2:25 PM..
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Old 21st November 2006, 2:26 PM   #2
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Geez, you can't turn his family into the picture perfect turkey carving cranberry sauce eating warm and fuzzy people if they just aren't, not even if you think their excuses are "poor".

This is utterly trivial. Why not invite HIM to your family gathering if you want to spend Thanksgiving with him?
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Old 21st November 2006, 2:26 PM   #3
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Let it go. If he has not seen his brother in a while, they need to reconnect like a dropped cell call.
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Old 21st November 2006, 2:29 PM   #4
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LOL thanks for the replies

I guess maybe I should just let it go, your right.

I did invite him to spend it with my family, which my family is like his too, they are not doing much either. It just would have been nice to spend a holiday with him, since that is what I did with all my other b/f's.
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Old 21st November 2006, 2:43 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella82 View Post
It just would have been nice to spend a holiday with him, since that is what I did with all my other b/f's.
Just remember he's not all your other bfs, and recall his good qualities over theirs.
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Old 21st November 2006, 2:52 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella82 View Post
LOL thanks for the replies

I guess maybe I should just let it go, your right.

I did invite him to spend it with my family, which my family is like his too, they are not doing much either. It just would have been nice to spend a holiday with him, since that is what I did with all my other b/f's.
how is the relationship otherwise?
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Old 21st November 2006, 3:11 PM   #7
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Our relationship is okay. I mean we have had our share of troubles.... But we both want to work things out. We both love eachother, and hopefully everything will work out fine.

We will have to see, we are both very young, I am 24, he is 22.

But what relationships are perfect?
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Old 21st November 2006, 5:34 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella82 View Post
My boyfriend did not invite me to spend Thanksgiving with him. It really hurt my feelings. I mean I used to always spend all the holidays with all of my exes. This is the second thanksgiving that we are spending apart.

My family does not even like him that much, and they still invited him to spend Thanksgiving together.

His family lives 2 hours away from my family but still I didn't even get an invite. He says his family is not all into holidays and they are not even having dinner, and that they are just not like that.

He said his brother is coming into town from out of state and that he wants to have some time with his brother and he doesnt want him or me to feel like the third wheel.

My mom thinks that all of these are poor excuses, and to tell you the truth I rather probably not go, because I am not close to his family and it would feel wierd anyway, but I just don't like the fact that he didn't even invite me.

He keeps on saying its just a day... blah blah blah

Do you think I should be furious, or do you think I should just let it go?? Is it worth ending a relationship over???

I mean his parents just don't get involved in their childrens lives as far as relationships go, they never have. But I still think thats not a good excuse. Please help!!
maybe you are just over reacting. you should ask him about getting up after thanksgiving dinner. have you ever met his parents before. did they like you. if not then theres something wrong with that pic.
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Old 21st November 2006, 7:46 PM   #9
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Yeah I meet his parents once, they just live so far away. They like me, for what they know of me.

I'll just let it go, maybe I am over reacting. Just wanted to see if anyone thought that was wrong.

My brother told me that he should invite me, and he said that he shouldn't make me or his brother feel like the third wheel.... but thats his opinion.

Just wanted to see if anyone else agreed.
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Old 21st November 2006, 7:53 PM   #10
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you sound like a Sam
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Old 21st November 2006, 7:55 PM   #11
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He said his brother is coming into town from out of state and that he wants to have some time with his brother and he doesnt want him or me to feel like the third wheel.
Well there you go. Whether or not it's true what he said about a third wheel is unknown but I think you should not be making such a huge deal out of it. He's not your other bf's.
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Old 21st November 2006, 9:09 PM   #12
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I'd feel hurt and left out if I wasn't invited, or if my bf would rather spend the holiday without me. I view holidays as time spent with loved ones. Not time to ditch those you love. Just how I view it.

However, I never feel like I really get to interact with my family when my bf is there. I'm worried about whether he's bored, and keeping him in the conversation, and ensuring he feels comfortable.. Sometimes I just want to focus on my family and not have to worry about whether I'm pissing the hell out of my SO by neglecting them.

I think if you looked at it more like giving him a gift, instead of harboring resentment about it, it would help you a lot. He needs, and wants, some quality time with his family. Something you said he doesn't get a lot of. If it's something he's said he needs, then give that to him. Tell him to have a great time, and that you want this as much as he does. Then go have fun with your own family.

Basically, if you show him that he's free to choose, and you aren't going to "make him pay" for choosing something you don't want.. then he'll be more inclined to choose things that will make you happiest. If he feels like you're holding it against him, then he'll push you further away.
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Old 22nd November 2006, 9:34 AM   #13
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Thanks for all your replies, I appreciate it a lot.

Walk,
That is exactly what I am saying, I think holidays are supposed to be spent with ones that you love, but I see what you are saying. I too have felt before like I neglect my family when my b/f's have been there.

I know he is not my other b/f's but it was just nice to spend holidays with them, it made it special.

KMT,
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Old 22nd November 2006, 1:43 PM   #14
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Is it possible that he knows your parents don't like him? That in itself could make him feel uncomfortable and not want to spend an evening with them.

What you could do is, after Thanksgiving you and your boyfriend go out somewhere and have a romantic dinner to make up for the fact you two aren't going to spend that day/evening together.
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Old 22nd November 2006, 2:26 PM   #15
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A person who makes up strange rools in their head about what needs to happen and refuses to just enjoy a holiday. Please enjoy tommorow wheter you spend it with you bf or not you sound like a bright person who has alot to be thankfull for and if this is the biggest problem you have a good relationship too. If he refuses to spend new years with you and has no great excuse then you should get mad till then Happy Turkey day
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