mr confused Posted July 11, 2000 Share Posted July 11, 2000 hello everyone, i need some advice, im 19 and the girl im seeing is 18, ive only known her for a couple weeks, we've gotten pretty far, about as close as you can get without having sex but heres the problem, she doesnt want a boyfriend. I would really like to have a relationship with her but she doesnt want one, we're simply friends with benefits as she put it. I really dont want to lose her but at the same time i feel really weird doing all this when we dont really have anything going. advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 11, 2000 Share Posted July 11, 2000 You need to use a little skillful strategy here. The friends with benefits scenario leaves the door open for more. Just go with her program and gradually, over a period of time, get closer and closer until you have her without her even realizing it. You've got to be sharp and smart. If she didn't like you and wasn't attacted to you, you wouldn't have gotten this far. Because of her age, she may be somewhat inexperienced or she may be a bit afraid of having a close boyfriend right now. But as time progresses, she will feel more and more comfortable with you. As long as you keep things romantic and stear away from the buddy kinds of things, I think you can get into her heart through the back door without her even suspecting what you're doing. Just go slowly. Besides, sometimes No means Yes, especially in these kinds of situations. Link to post Share on other sites
DND Posted July 11, 2000 Share Posted July 11, 2000 sounds like you are sitting pretty good ,you already have her trust just build from that and see where it leads. Link to post Share on other sites
Nina Posted July 11, 2000 Share Posted July 11, 2000 Oh Lord. Ok, enough of that. From my experience, which is somewhat extensive, friends withbenefits NEVER WORKS!!!! I tried it a few times and you know what I ended up with? The weirdness. You're friends with a guy, but don't want anything serious, so you just have the benefits thing because then you get to have sex withotu attachments. But sex (or even foreplay) is so intimate, that this can't continue. And also, every guy who was "friends with benefits" with me, I just blew them off. I don't see nay of them any more and I never will (hopefully). It just became weird, witha weird vibe and I was uncomfortbale with that feeling. Now that I'm getting married soon, I realize that now thatI know how sex with someone you really love feels, I couldn't ever go back to casual sex. It's like sleepingon the floor or sleeping in a huge, king-sized bed with fluffy pillows and a vibrating mode with heat-massage. It's like getting a handshake or getting a full body massage. Which one would you rather have? Sex with someone you love, who loves you, is just about the best feeling in the whole world. Link to post Share on other sites
magicklady Posted July 11, 2000 Share Posted July 11, 2000 I totally agree with Nina.. give up and move on. If she decides that she really likes you she will let you know when you stop paying attention to her. If you want to have her as a girlfriend... don't put to much stock in the friend thing. Just simply start dating other people and see what happens... Link to post Share on other sites
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