Lisa Lisa Posted January 11, 1998 Share Posted January 11, 1998 Ok, guys help me out on this one. I've been with this guy for like 6 months. We've been dating exclusively. He travels a lot. He didn't call me on Christmas or New Years, he doesn't call me ever when he's traveling, but he does e-mail frequently. He can't say I love you even when I ask. We never talk about the future, even when I bring it up. I know he's faithful, he doesn't even look at other girls. But what is going on? He's definitely afraid to commit, or is 6 months too soon? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted January 15, 1998 Share Posted January 15, 1998 Ok, guys help me out on this one. I've been with this guy for like 6 months. We've been dating exclusively. He travels a lot. He didn't call me on Christmas or New Years, he doesn't call me ever when he's traveling, but he does e-mail frequently. He can't say I love you even when I ask. We never talk about the future, even when I bring it up. I know he's faithful, he doesn't even look at other girls. But what is going on? He's definitely afraid to commit, or is 6 months too soon? Lisa, I'd recommend from the start talking to him about your feelings. Communication is an essential foundation for any relationship. Tell him about your concerns and what you want out of the relationship. In otherwords, don't be afraid to hold back your feelings. Make it an open policy from the start to share with each other your concerns and thoughts. Don't be afraid that he might not reciprocate, because it may take some time for him to become comfortable with expressing his feelings. It is an awkward thing to do at first but in the end it's very worthwhile. Please come visit us in the chat room though during normal hours. I think there might be some underlying reasons for the distancing you've described that we might have to unravel. LoveHost Link to post Share on other sites
Icicle Posted January 15, 1998 Share Posted January 15, 1998 Ok, guys help me out on this one. I've been with this guy for like 6 months. We've been dating exclusively. He travels a lot. He didn't call me on Christmas or New Years, he doesn't call me ever when he's traveling, but he does e-mail frequently. He can't say I love you even when I ask. We never talk about the future, even when I bring it up. I know he's faithful, he doesn't even look at other girls. But what is going on? He's definitely afraid to commit, or is 6 months too soon? Lisa, I would have to agree with Lovehost, being that it is 6 months you may have to reconsider the nature of the relationship and think about what is best for both of you, and Lisa don't worry too much about it if he really cares then he will come around...men alot of the time are extremely hard to understand, come on in and talk to us we would be happy to help. Ici Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Lisa Posted January 20, 1998 Share Posted January 20, 1998 Thanks guys for your advice. I would love to chat with you but I don't know how to get into the chat room. I do have MIRC though. Anyway my bf is finally coming back next week after being gone for more than a month, and after having communicated only by e-mail. It's weird, I feel like I might be meeting a stranger or some figment of my imagination. It's because I haven't heard his voice for so long. I understand what you guys say about communication, but everytime I bring up the subject, he really shoots it down by refusing to talk about it or by saying he can't make plans if he's not even sure what he wants to do with his life. We're both nearing 30 by the way, so we're not exactly young. Anyway, love to hear what more you guys have to say about this..........thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted January 30, 1998 Share Posted January 30, 1998 Thanks guys for your advice. I would love to chat with you but I don't know how to get into the chat room. I do have MIRC though. You have mIRC? Great! Check out our #LoveShack page for additional details. It's rather simple. After you open mIRC, type /server irc.loveshack.org and then once you're connected type /join #LoveShack. You should be in the room after that And you're very welcome! Anyway my bf is finally coming back next week after being gone for more than a month, and after having communicated only by e-mail. It's weird, I feel like I might be meeting a stranger or some figment of my imagination. It's because I haven't heard his voice for so long. I understand what you guys say about communication, but everytime I bring up the subject, he really shoots it down by refusing to talk about it or by saying he can't make plans if he's not even sure what he wants to do with his life. We're both nearing 30 by the way, so we're not exactly young. Anyway, love to hear what more you guys have to say about this..........thanks again. I can see how that would be a scary thing after not having any real physical contact with him after so long. However, communication doesn't necessarily involve "making plans." In communicating, you just need to share your thoughts, and if yours involve making plans for the future and his do not, then perhaps you need to listen to his reasons. He just may need more time before "settling down." Best of luck to you and seeing how late my reply is, I hope everything has been going great! LoveAngel Link to post Share on other sites
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