LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > Archive

How To accept yourself?


Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 29th December 2001, 2:25 PM   #1
JJ
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
How To accept yourself?

How do you accept yourself for who you are and feel comfortable about yourself? Let me explain, I'm very young being only 20 but I weigh 220 lbs. All my life I've been on the chubby side.

I use to weigh near 290 lbs but got on a diet and did great with it. I walked 3 miles all the time, watches what I ate. But as I got to 210 I slowly became a slacker, did less walkign until none and I'm a wuss when it comes to being cold outside.. so I don't wakl when it's cold because I don't wanna get sick.

I am back up to 220 and I'm now depressed, before I was happy about how I was looking but I'm finding it harder and harder to keep on my diet.

The reason being I have a nasty body, my stomach is nothing but fat, sticks out, and I have huge man boobs and regardless of how much I walked, how much I lost I still had this and it was disheartening. It, to me, stood out.

I have been working with weights, I life weights doing curels and then lie on the floor and simply lift the weights over my chest and go up and down. But then I realize how weak I am, I can only do like 10-15 curels and perhaps 25-30 lying on the floor.

I can do like 20 situps, and push ups seems to be of the impossible that'll break my back. But even then after like 2 weeks of doing this my man boobs still stick out and I still have this nasty body.

So this takes my self-esteem away and makes me feel all depressed, as if I was meant to look nasty. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at the end of my ropes right now and ready to give up and just live with the fact that I look nasty.

So I ask you this, how can someone become happy with who they are? I do not know how this can be done, or if it can be done at all. Regardless, in the end I still have a nasty body that no chick wants. I have friends who're girls and always comment about people being fat and it brings me down, because I look worse than that.

I talked to this person at a local weight loss center who said that in a matter of 10 weeks they could have me down to 180 but now I question if that would even be worth it. I would hate to spend money and actually get to 180 but still look nasty, meaning my stomach still looks nasty and I have huge man-boobs like no other.

Any advice? What am I doing wrong? Why cannot I not get rid of my nasty stomach? Is it because I'm so overweight that it won't shrink much till I get to my normal weight average of 180? If I get to 180 will my boobs go away?
 
Old 29th December 2001, 2:40 PM   #2
Crystal
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: How To accept yourself?

well i can't answer most of your questions but i know that when you lose weight the tummy is always the last to go, proven fact from what i've read.

there are a ton of exercise programs that could help you, if you stick with them. can you join a gym, or go to the local y.m.c.a.?

there are alot of diet programs on the internet as well, some you have to pay for and they plan your meals some are free. the one i go to is www.edite.com it is a free web site and they plan your meals.

the other program that i've followed is called body for life, by bill phillips. he has you in the gym six days a week doing weight training and aerobics, a real nice easy to follow program and it works. my guy and me were on it a couple years ago and both lost weight. he also has these "boobs" that you talk about and lately has been doing alot of aerobics and weight training and they are just now finally starting to show as muscle instead of just "boobs".

it takes time, it can take a long time, remember you didn't put the weight on overnight it will not come off over night. you have to be persistent, persistence is the key word here. find a good program that you like and stick with it, if you don't like walking in the winter, which i don't blame you, i don't want to get sick either, so you can do aerobics at home, even a jump rope or a video tape, no one needs to know, if that makes you feel funny doing aeribics with a video tape.

my guy hates doing aerobics, he hates sitting on the bike, or the cross trainer but he loves getting out on the floor and doing aerobics even if he is the only guy out there, he don't care he's in it for himself, not them.

good luck, hopefully someone else will come along and have more advice as well. this company that says they can get you down to 180 in ten weeks, i'd find out about their reputation and if they guarantee success and what if you don't lose it what them, how much extra to keep helping you out, etc.

i wish you luck, don't be so down on yourself, the fact that you want to lose this weight is a great positive sign, and i admire that, so just do something, anything, even if you go to a gym and walk the tracks it is better then nothing, but you have to get your heart rate up enough for it to be aerobic. p.s. do a search on weight loss programs and weight training programs, google is the best search engine, in my opinion.

good luck and warm wishes.
Quote:
How do you accept yourself for who you are and feel comfortable about yourself? Let me explain, I'm very young being only 20 but I weigh 220 lbs. All my life I've been on the chubby side. I use to weigh near 290 lbs but got on a diet and did great with it. I walked 3 miles all the time, watches what I ate. But as I got to 210 I slowly became a slacker, did less walkign until none and I'm a wuss when it comes to being cold outside.. so I don't wakl when it's cold because I don't wanna get sick. I am back up to 220 and I'm now depressed, before I was happy about how I was looking but I'm finding it harder and harder to keep on my diet. The reason being I have a nasty body, my stomach is nothing but fat, sticks out, and I have huge man boobs and regardless of how much I walked, how much I lost I still had this and it was disheartening. It, to me, stood out. I have been working with weights, I life weights doing curels and then lie on the floor and simply lift the weights over my chest and go up and down. But then I realize how weak I am, I can only do like 10-15 curels and perhaps 25-30 lying on the floor. I can do like 20 situps, and push ups seems to be of the impossible that'll break my back. But even then after like 2 weeks of doing this my man boobs still stick out and I still have this nasty body. So this takes my self-esteem away and makes me feel all depressed, as if I was meant to look nasty. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at the end of my ropes right now and ready to give up and just live with the fact that I look nasty.

So I ask you this, how can someone become happy with who they are? I do not know how this can be done, or if it can be done at all. Regardless, in the end I still have a nasty body that no chick wants. I have friends who're girls and always comment about people being fat and it brings me down, because I look worse than that. I talked to this person at a local weight loss center who said that in a matter of 10 weeks they could have me down to 180 but now I question if that would even be worth it. I would hate to spend money and actually get to 180 but still look nasty, meaning my stomach still looks nasty and I have huge man-boobs like no other. Any advice? What am I doing wrong? Why cannot I not get rid of my nasty stomach? Is it because I'm so overweight that it won't shrink much till I get to my normal weight average of 180? If I get to 180 will my boobs go away?
 
Old 29th December 2001, 6:36 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Tony T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 15,713
Re: How To accept yourself?

Enroll yourself in a medically supervised weight loss program. Do not use liquid diets because while the weight loss is rapid, it always comes back. Get involved with a group of people who are trying to lose weight together and let them be a support to you.

You absolutely must lose this weight if you are to live a full and rich life but you can do it. It takes 3500 calories to make a pound. It takes about 2000 to operate your body for the day. So everyday you are inactive nad.or overeat, you bank 500 to 1000 calories and in just over three days you gain a pound. Start exercising again plus watching your diet so the pounds will begin to go.

The catch here is that once you get going, people will notice and start complimenting you. The more compliments you get, the more you will be motivated. Then women will start noticing you more and the more women notice you the more you will be motivated. But before that happens, you've got to get yourself going.

If you don't like the cold, buy an inexpensive treadmill and use it in your home. Or go join a gym. Stay active, learn to exercise daily, watch what you eat, get support from others who are also dedicated to losing, and I promise you the compliments you get almost immediately will keep you going.

If you live far out of town and can't get support from a group, go to: http://www.diet-links.com/

There, you will find a number of online diet sites and weight loss support groups that will help take you to the finish line. Yes, it may be difficult at first but once you start watching that scale go down, you will be so happy you won't have a self esteem problem. You'll have so many activities to attend you won't have time to worry about yourself.

If once you get down to about 160 you still feel you are nasty looking, see a counsellor. It may just take the help of a therapist and the passing of time to get used to the new you. However, I think you will get so many great compliments you will feel very good about yourself.

Let us know how you do.
Tony T is offline  
Old 30th December 2001, 3:50 PM   #4
JJ
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
How To accept yourself followup

Thanks for the advice, I went out today and bought me a treadmill which is now setup in my room. I hope these things are as good as the real walking, cause if so I can lose this weight fast again.
 
Old 30th December 2001, 6:22 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Tony T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 15,713
Re: How To accept yourself followup

You don't want to lose weight too fast and you don't want to overdo it on the treadmill. Build up gradually until you can be comfortable building your heart rate up to the recommended levels and workout on it a half hour to 45 minutes per day. So you won't get bored, put it near a TV so you can watch while you workout (just be careful) or play upbeat music or motivation tapes in the background.

I urge you to go to your doctor for a thorough physical before you begin a rigorous exercise program. Also, remember you MUST eat the proper foods and take vitamins but do not eat in excess. If you exercise a half hour a day and then eat a banana split, you won't lose weight. If you lose too fast from exercise and minimizing caloric intake, you will gain your weight back.

Once you have lost the weight you desire, get on a medically supervised weight maintenance program. A diet is a lifelong thing and if you don't want to gain your weight back you will have to watch what you eat and exercise regularly all the days of your life. But that's great, though, because you will feel better, live longer, etc.

You should get all the exercise you can handle running from the thousands of women who will be chasing you.
Tony T is offline  
Old 30th December 2001, 6:31 PM   #6
Laurynn
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Good for you! (some dieting info inside)

I think treadmills are pretty good.....from a cardiovascular standpoint (they get your heart going, which helps burn fat/calories) and from a "toning" standpoint. I bought one a few years ago. Makes a great dust collector LOL. My New Year's resolution is to use it 3-4 times a week. Just waiting til I take my Xmas tree down, then I'm going to get some big strapping men (it's heavy!) to carry it down into my family room...then no excuses...can watch TV and walk. Heard something once, too.....(maybe someone can correct me if I'm wrong)...that you should eat carbs BEFORE you exercise/work out (or use treadmill)...gives you energy to workout..plus you'll be burning off the calories at the same time.

When I was diagnosed a year ago with an underactive thyroid gland (which causes very very low metabolism/hard to lose weight/easy to gain weight), I went to a really good Thyroid Forum.....just about every woman there was battling with a weight problem, due to their lowered metabolism (mostly from having lived with UNdiagnosed hypothyroidism for years, their docs not taking them seriously).....and many of these gals were taking a natural supplement called "CLA" that really helped them to lose weight.

CLA stands for "Conjugated Linoleic Acid"....it's an amino acid that's naturally in the body....and it can help to block fat absorption. A good brand of this stuff is "Tonalin"......

Here's the website that explains more about CLA (made by Tonalin): Click here for CLA Info You need about 3500mg of this stuff per day.....I'd take 2 capsules with breakfast, 1 with lunch, 2 with dinner. I lost 12 lbs (but some of that might have been due to starting on the thyroid meds).......but just about every woman who began taking it noticed great results after a few weeks....mostly in terms of 'lost inches'.....Interestingly enough, when you work out, as you might already know, what the scale says your weight is can really be deceiving when it comes to being overweight.....it's more accurate if you take your measurements BEFORE you start a diet/exercise routine...then periodically recheck them.......a person can lose a LOT of inches though their weight might not show much decrease..due to the fact that muscle weighs more than fat.

Just a suggestion to help you along. I was able to buy this Tonalin CLA in my local Health Food Store....You should always consult your family doctor before starting any kind of dietary supplement. And if you do decide to try it, make sure you drink lots of water......that's something that's very important when taking this......

If you have any questions, feel free to email me:

kavaleer@shaw.ca

Laurynn
Quote:
Thanks for the advice, I went out today and bought me a treadmill which is now setup in my room. I hope these things are as good as the real walking, cause if so I can lose this weight fast again.
 
Old 30th December 2001, 11:28 PM   #7
Crystal
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
re: carbs before workouts

i use to be on this bill phillips program, body for life, the program tells you NOT to eat before a workout, or an hour after workouts. the reasoning behind this is that all you will burn off is the food that you ate. my guy and i lost a lot of weight on this program and alot of body fat, well not alot of weight, were not really heavy just a little pooch in the tummy, you know that middle age having babies crap you get?

anyway, I started gaining weight and having some health problems and i was unable to exercise without eating, now i've learned that you should eat carbs before working out and i agree over the bill phillips program, simply because i can no longer do it his way.

i've learned that some orange juice/bage/banana/cereal, some good for you carbs is all you need and about a half hour before you work out. this is what i've been doing and i have lost 4 pounds in three weeks now!

i also started doing a major kickass aerobics program, it's actually called interval training but i got it from this "muscle and fitness/hers" magazine, and i can burn off 467 calories in 40 mns!

then when i have a small treat i don't feel as bad.

anywa, if anyone ever wants to check out his training program "body for life" by bill phillips, it's really pretty good, but i would eat a little something first before working out.
Quote:
I think treadmills are pretty good.....from a cardiovascular standpoint (they get your heart going, which helps burn fat/calories) and from a "toning" standpoint. I bought one a few years ago. Makes a great dust collector LOL. My New Year's resolution is to use it 3-4 times a week. Just waiting til I take my Xmas tree down, then I'm going to get some big strapping men (it's heavy!) to carry it down into my family room...then no excuses...can watch TV and walk. Heard something once, too.....(maybe someone can correct me if I'm wrong)...that you should eat carbs BEFORE you exercise/work out (or use treadmill)...gives you energy to workout..plus you'll be burning off the calories at the same time. When I was diagnosed a year ago with an underactive thyroid gland (which causes very very low metabolism/hard to lose weight/easy to gain weight), I went to a really good Thyroid Forum.....just about every woman there was battling with a weight problem, due to their lowered metabolism (mostly from having lived with UNdiagnosed hypothyroidism for years, their docs not taking them seriously).....and many of these gals were taking a natural supplement called "CLA" that really helped them to lose weight. CLA stands for "Conjugated Linoleic Acid"....it's an amino acid that's naturally in the body....and it can help to block fat absorption. A good brand of this stuff is "Tonalin"......

Here's the website that explains more about CLA (made by Tonalin): Click here for CLA Info You need about 3500mg of this stuff per day.....I'd take 2 capsules with breakfast, 1 with lunch, 2 with dinner. I lost 12 lbs (but some of that might have been due to starting on the thyroid meds).......but just about every woman who began taking it noticed great results after a few weeks....mostly in terms of 'lost inches'.....Interestingly enough, when you work out, as you might already know, what the scale says your weight is can really be deceiving when it comes to being overweight.....it's more accurate if you take your measurements BEFORE you start a diet/exercise routine...then periodically recheck them.......a person can lose a LOT of inches though their weight might not show much decrease..due to the fact that muscle weighs more than fat. Just a suggestion to help you along. I was able to buy this Tonalin CLA in my local Health Food Store....You should always consult your family doctor before starting any kind of dietary supplement. And if you do decide to try it, make sure you drink lots of water......that's something that's very important when taking this...... If you have any questions, feel free to email me: kavaleer@shaw.ca Laurynn
 
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Accept or Reject? Guest5 Marriage & Life Partnerships 6 13th October 2004 10:44 AM
trying to accept Katherine Archive 6 14th December 2001 7:33 AM
How to accept rejection. Jean Archive 3 12th March 2001 3:47 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:45 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.