Jeff Posted December 22, 2001 Share Posted December 22, 2001 I have a problem: I can't choose between 2 girls. Both are my friends and both know about the other. I am attracted to both and both are attracted to me. There hasn't been any physical stuff yet b/c I'm so confused and don't want to hurt either of them (we've been friends for long time). One of the girls is the sweetest, most patient, and kindest person I've ever met. The other really understands me and we have a very deep relationship but she can be a little "difficult" at times (moody, high maintenance). Physically, I am about equally attracted to them. What should I do? Go for the sweet one or the one that understands me better? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 23, 2001 Share Posted December 23, 2001 You seem to be assuming that both of these ladies are very interested in dating you. If that's the case, you could give them weapons and have an old fashioned duel where the one who lives gets you. The best thing to do is date them both casually for a while and then make your decision based on how you feel about your dating experiences with them. You give insufficient data on which anyone in this forum can base an educated guess as to which of these ladies would be the best for you. They both seem quite nice and good for you in different ways. I think if you live in Utah and join the Mormon Church you could have it made with both of them. Let us know what you decide. If it were me, I would just go "eenie, meenie, miney, moe." Or maybe I would have them draw straws. Or each could cook a meal for me and I would pick the better cook. Or you could be even more imaginative...if you know what I mean. A lot of people wish they had your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
viktress Posted December 23, 2001 Share Posted December 23, 2001 What is a man to do? Vaguely speaking, you seem to suggest that the sweet one lacks some crucial dynamic. The other, more difficult option presents a threat of a different kind- she seems to be more forceful(whatever it means) and this might prove to be testy. The most obvious solution is to just go with the flow. Continue to experience the moments with these women. Enjoying the friendship and keeping it platonic will be an interesting challenge. You deserve to take your time. In the end, maybe a #3 will appear and make 1 and 2 just unthinkable. Just be strong, thoughtful, and contained for a little longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted December 23, 2001 Share Posted December 23, 2001 hi jeff, my advice is if you can't decide between either of them, then don't be with any of them. why do you have to have one or the other anyway?? you don't have to choose either because they are there, you like them and you feel attracted to them. i find lots of people very attractive that i would consider dating, but once i really think about it, i don't feel 100% sure. i'm sure you've heard the age-old cliche "if in doubt, don't do it". i've always applied this to relationships. the way i see it, people's feelings and my self-respect are too valuable to compromise and if i'm ever doubting a potential decision, there is obviously a very good reason even if it isn't even very clear. of course, this situation may not be as simple as "if in doubt don't do it....you don't have to choose either one". i think you should think about why you are considering dating either of these girls. is it because you are genuinely attracted, or because you are feeling the pressure of having to at least date ONE of them? if one of these girls didn't exist, would you definitely date the other and vice versa?? i guess there's also the chance that you're afraid you might hurt one of them, even though they do know about each other. if this is the case well, i don't mean to sound cold, but you can't base decisions in life around the feelings of others. people hurt, people get over things, people move on. i also have the feeling, given that you really do want to be with one of them, it isn't the high-maintenance girl you are inclined to lean towards. if she's high-maintenance as a friend, then sheesh...she won't be low-maintenance as a girlfriend. her idiosyncrasies would probably drive you crazy after a while. go with what your HEAD says, and don't make any decisions until you have weighed up the pros and cons and you are 100% sure what you want to do. don't go for one in particular if she doesn't have all the qualities you want in a girlfriend. best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
anon Posted December 27, 2001 Share Posted December 27, 2001 So, do you think that if you "try them out" you will doom your possibility with 'em both? Link to post Share on other sites
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