Mind in tatters

[Nobel]

I have been with my girl for 8 months; we have had an on and off type relationship (all my doing, feel scared whenever anyone mentions her as my girlfriend), now all of a sudden I get scared again. So I start filling my head with nonsense like I should be with someone else, but at the same time at the jewellry counter buying my girl a necklace for Christmas, still filling my head with foolishness. She is not my FIRST girl, but my first serious girl. HELP.

[Nobel]

I have been with my girl for 8 months; we have had an on and off type relationship (all my doing, feel scared whenever anyone mentions her as my girlfriend), now all of a sudden I get scared again. So I start filling my head with nonsense like I should be with someone else, but at the same time at the jewellry counter buying my girl a necklace for Christmas, still filling my head with foolishness. She is not my FIRST girl, but my first serious girl. HELP.

By the way, I was reading another post (by Tony) and he opened my eyes a bit, in the 8 months I have been with this girl, I (of my own fault) have not spoken to my friends much. Cold that be a factor into how I am feeling

[Tony T]

You're going to have to figure this one out. Either you are terrified of a close relationship for whatever reason or you do not sense that this girl is the one for you.

 

You'll have to look into yourself to see if you are afraid of intimacy. Many people who come from dysfunctional or abusive families of origin have this problem by that isn't a prerequisite. Making yourself highly emotionally vulnerable is a pretty scary thing.

 

You might want to see a counsellor to get to the bottom of this. Meanwhile, don't get this girl an expensive present if it's something your heart has any doubts about doing so.

[Nobel]

You're going to have to figure this one out. Either you are terrified of a close relationship for whatever reason or you do not sense that this girl is the one for you. You'll have to look into yourself to see if you are afraid of intimacy. Many people who come from dysfunctional or abusive families of origin have this problem by that isn't a prerequisite. Making yourself highly emotionally vulnerable is a pretty scary thing. You might want to see a counsellor to get to the bottom of this. Meanwhile, don't get this girl an expensive present if it's something your heart has any doubts about doing so. No, Tony there was no doubt in my heart when I bought the gift, only in my head.